Your “I’m Up and Down and In Between” Saturday Evening Open Thread

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It’s Day 1 of the three-day weekend here in Vancouver. The skies are still really smoky due to the fires up north & the winds dragging the smoke down to the coast. The air tastes like a brush fire, and the cruise ships full of seniors on their way to Alaska hopefully have extra O₂ tanks.

But at least the smoke is deflecting the heat we were supposed to be getting; it’s knocking 5-7 degrees Celsius off the Vancouver temperature, so we’re nowhere near as hot as Seattle.

Tonight at 10:00 PM is the finale of the “Celebration of Light” explosion festival. Here’s Japan from Day 1:

Have I mentioned how much I hate fireworks? Because I fucking hate fireworks. Irrespective of never JPP-ing myself, it’s usually due to those smug little fuckers who let them off about 2:00 AM in a garage or such place. When I was a high school VP, if Halloween fell during Monday – Friday, I had to sit in the school until 11:00 PM night of to make sure the building didn’t get vandalized or catch fire. One year, one of the teachers refused to close the windows (“…because it’s stuffy”), and they aimed right for them until I got them all closed. On both floors.

To enjoy this festival, you have to mark your spot on the beach about noon. And the cops come & take all your booze, because God-fucking-forbid you want to have a drink. No problems with all the weed being smoked on the beach during the fire & smoking ban, but opening the cooler is a pour-out and a $175 fine.

I know I’ll never win that battle, so I practice avoidance as best as I can.

Sunday is the annual Gay Pride parade, which a number of my out & proud friends no longer attend due to its corporate nature & general acceptance. Oh, they’ll go to the parties, because few str8’s have the jam to attend those, so it’s more their-community-oriented. I went out for a couple of beers with them earlier this week.

I can’t remember if I told this story last year: One of my former students was a parade Grand Marshall back in 2012. Her name is Jenna Talackova.

I knew her pre- & post-op. I let her do her law presentation of the legal issues of her name change and gender reassignment with government agencies.

Fun fact: she sued the Miss Universe pageant because she won Miss Canada but was disqualified from the main pageant because she wasn’t a “naturally born female”. In a surprise reversal, the Miss Universe Organization, owned by Donald Trump, not only re-entered her; it allowed all transgender women to compete in its worldwide competition, modelling its rules after the Olympic system.

Fast-forward to 2017: they can wear bikinis & talk world peace but not fatigues & break ISIS codes. Gotcha.

Tonight’s sports:

• NFL:
  • Pro Football Hall of Fame Enshrinement Ceremony – 7:00 PM | ESPN

• CFL:
  • Roughriders vs. Lions – 7:00 PM | TSN

•  AFL:
  • Adelaide vs. Port Adelaide – 2:30 AM | TSN2

•  UFC:
  • UFC Fight Night – Pettis vs. Moreno, from Mexico City
    • Prelims: 8:00 PM | FS1
    • Main card: 10:00 PM | FS1 / TSN5

• MLB:
  • Blue Jays at Astros – 7:00 PM | Sportsnet

GO FORTH & ALCOHOL!