Lotta “showing unity” gifs this week but, really, how much can we make fun of that? But if you got one in the chamber for such displays of patriotism/terorrism (YRMV), I’m sure you can shoehorn it in.
But before we get to Quotables, here are your Power Rankings update:
Last week (Week 3):
Top 5: PIT, KC, NE, ATL, OAK
Bottom 5: IND, SF, CLE, CHI, CIN
This week (Week 4):
Top 5: KC, NE, ATL, DET, TEN
Bottom 5: SF, CLE, CIN, LAC, MIA
Mind you, the Jets aren’t even in these rankings because they are actively tanking — and, in true JEST fashion, even fucking that up with a win over Miami — so the Meadowlands houses two of the worst teams in the league while Los Angeles has a team in the Rams who are…..interesting. Still, you know, parity.
So, enough about overpaid millionaires who couldn’t possibly know anything about oppression (though I can imagine that’s the first thing they experience when they see how much in taxes comes out of paychecks that large), onto Quotables!
[…] 2017 Quotables – Week 3 (Submissions) – September 26, 2017 […]
I haven’t seen a Texan evade a series of Patriots so successfully since the Newton Gang stayed one step ahead of federal marshals in the 1920’s.
“Aw, look at that adorable little fellow running on the grass…he looks so happy! Oh look, a falcon is dropping by to say hello!”
– Shanna Moakler
Apologies for my late entries, would you believe people expected me to work on the day Quotables comes out? Savages.
THIS MARSHAWN LYNCH I CALL FIREWATER BECAUSE HE’S ATTRACTED THE ATTENTION OF A LOT OF R*DSK*NS!!!
“Athletic” quarterback play on display.
“Who let Manziel into the players family section?”
Good to see the Children of the Corn made it to today’s game.
“Hey, Cooper, what’s the capital of Thailand? BANGKOK!”
“I do a little meth, fall asleep in the belly of a plane at JAX and I wake up where?”
Leave it to Fat Stafford to get his receiver killed on a play called “Z-go Purple Monkey Dishwasher”
Obligatory: Roger Goodell fines James Harrison $50,000 for this hit.
Ref: “No, really, I’ve got, like, lots of black friends.”
See what happens when you don’t properly circle the wagons?
Someone tell me again how Trump can tell an NFL fan from a NASCAR fan.
Ow! My Balls!
45,000+ views. It seems that I need to add a Tom Brady tag to all of my gifs because some saps are eating that shit up.
♫ I’m gonna score a touchdown
I’m gonna – ♫
Wait, I read online the end zone is lava. Is that—AH!
Ref- ” and since Tebow won’t take a knee, you need to sign him.”
Coach – “oh I am, I am”
Perfect
And I was killing myself for not being able to come up with some “crazy cracker motherfucker” dick joke for this. It NEVAR would have been this good.
wow, thanks man
“Hey Mindy, I’m gonna give it to this beer can just like the Colts are giving it to your boy!”
That’s so Raven!
THIS IS TRUE PATRIOTISM! BLINDLY FIDDLING WITH YOUR HAT DURING COMPULSORY CEREMONIES AT IRRELEVANT SPORTING EVENTS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
How many offensive terms can we put in one gif? “Lynch”, “[REDACTEDS]”, “NFL”, “balls”…
You can tell he’s not from Jacksonville because he has all of his teeth, and you can tell he’s not British because of the quality of his teeth. So, just, who IS this man?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly.
He lied. He’s really in London.
I caught it….I really caught it!!!! Ouch.
That was a hell of a play.
tWBS is gonna put me on waivers if I fuck this up.
/fucks it up intentionally
Wait, don’t the Titans play in Puerto Rico or something? Why are they even playing our national anthem there?
And now is the time on Sprockets when we play air guitar.
Gotta fake looking happy while this ref’s whitesplain’ everything to me.
#UncleRemusFootballHandbook
Eli looks different
“Something tells me kneeling is more comfortable on my jet”
Pictured: Bear thinking the 1 yard line is the woods
“Now I can go get me some of that chocolate poontang. Yee-haw, I’m crazy.”
“199 more of these and I can retire early!”
Get this man a Jag Rag!
It was at that moment Marcus Cooper suddenly remembered that he had told his bookie to take the over on Pittsburgh
Appropriate this is supposedly in england, because I’m detecting a bit of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
If anyone else picks up on this, shoot me a dm, lol
#Covfefe
Marshawn:
SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES SKITTLES D’OH WHERE’D MY SKITTLES GO?
Why yes, England also has meth.
“Thank God for CTE. At least my boy won’t have to remember Cleveland.”
The only way to get through a Browns game is to pretend it’s a sweet-ass Foghat concert.
Also, kudos to Blax for finding this GIF. It brings me all the joy.
Dazed and confused indeed
Fun fact: “foghat” is how Trent Green refers to his old helmet because of what it is and what it does.
I haven’t seen a Bear stripped that disappointingly since John Popper at The Plugged Nickel.
“How can ya have any pudding if ya don’t eat yer meat???”
Referee: HEY! You’re the Sergio Dipp guy!
“How do you like the rockets red glare now Baltimore.”
“Ok, listen coach…what I’m saying is, MY son didn’t get into Texas Tech because some of YOUR people got in with worse grades, so how can Kaepernick POSSIBLY justify kneeling like some terrorist?”
“I’m just saying, my doorman’s brother is in the navy and I think it’s pretty sad to see your players disrespecting his service.”