Let me start off this week by saying that there is no buttception gif. I saw it, I got it, but then I realized that, in the NFL, butt stuff is only funny when it’s tragic. Maybe if the pass had hit the receiver in the derrière, knocking him to the ground (where his wrist shattered), and THEN the pass had been intercepted via ass. But, as is, there’s a reason we lean on screaming coaches, gruesome injuries, and fans here at Quotables.
Sorry to get all Young Sheldon about this. Guess I’m just an analytics guy.
Anyways, I’m gonna keep this short today. We hosted Christmas yesterday and I am still exhausted AF. To all my relatives who are “excited to see what we do next year” — hope you like vacant houses and me being on an island where I am not cooking, not cleaning, and not hearing grumbles about why NFL ratings are down (uhhhh, why buy the cow when you can get the Quotables milk for free?).
So be merry and get to it. Here are your Week 16 submissions.
Why am I 100% sure Steelers Santa has never stepped foot in Pittsburgh?How much does Chris Long charge kids to attend his camp and hear some washed-up D2 line coach yell at the linemen to play through the whistle?I feel like this is the Packers-equivalent of that perpetual gif of the Miami Dolphins logo.My favorite thing about this submission is how prominent the NFL logo is. There’s no distancing league offices from this play!No team comes close to the Chargers in terms of putting kickers on Quotables. That is probably not a good thing either.In the NFL, it’s a fine line — or even no line — between division champions and bumbling lackeys covered in BBQ sauce who can’t make a tackle at home.This is exactly why they should not have live pricing for crab leg futures on the scoreboard during games.Guys gotta have that internal clock. Either get down or remember you’re on the Browns.Bonus Blax Bitterness: I actually found this submission as a candidate for Cardinals defensive play of the year.
In Eli’s defense, he had disobeyed Olivia and watched Carrie the night before and thought those players coming at him were covered in “icky girl-blood.”
“You uncouth swine! You varlet! I shall not stand idly by while you besmirch this fine organization and the assembled constituents with crass language and insinuations that besmirch the the familial honor that is at the core of being a Buccaneer!”
Don’t know how to post the gif from above. Jets QB overthrowing receiver:
Belichick: C’mon, Patricia, let’s get some film time in for next week’s opponent. *watches this play* Fuck it, take the week off. It’s the holidays.
![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
![2017 Quotables – Week 16 (Results) – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/9c379e2e9328e1181b125d87ee626641afdf8257bd9437d6b8006635aafa46cc?s=64&d=blank&r=x){kind=avatar}
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.