Summer finally arrived in Vancouver.
But thanks to the rain earlier this week, most of the beaches – including Ambleside,
near my house – are closed due to elevated e.coli counts. While it’s fun to blame it on the rain
and the associated runoff of animal fæces, in the case of Ambleside it also has to do with the decision 50 years ago to locate a primary sewage treatment plant ajdacent to the park & up-inlet from the beach – ensuring water flow from the plant goes right past the area & out to sea.
You’ll be pleased to know that that decision was made because they lobbied the federal government to expropriate land from the local Indian Reserve so they didn’t have to purchase it privately. It’s Reason #34 that the local First Nations population might have difficulty trusting any branch of Canadian government.
Enjoy your swim, everyone!
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Nationals at Atlanta – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- MLS:
- Orlando City SC vs. New York Red Bulls – 7:30PM | FS1
- Seattle Sounders vs. Portland Timbers – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN2
- Premier League Lacrosse:
- All-Star Game – 8:00PM | Sportsnet360
Almost all training camps kick into full gear this week, so we’ve got that going for us.
Queen – Bicycle Race video started up.
In solidarity with DonT, here’s a honkey explainer of the Puerto Rico sitch:
https://twitter.com/oppsyirwin/status/1152968581862346752?s=19
I have not been paying close attention, and after looking into it some more….. well fuck…..
I bought a bottle of pre-mixed margaritas yesterday because it was hot, and because it was cheaper and faster than buying tequila, cointreau, and triple sec. The bottle is almost gone and I was getting concerned that I was hammering these things down like they were water so I looked at the bottle. 19 proof. I’m hammering these things down like they were water because they are water.
Beer margaritas are the best:
Tequila (your choice)
Beer (your choice)
Can of frozen lime juice concentrate
Blender with ice
Put frozen lime juice concentrate into blender with ice. Fill the empty lime juice can with tequila then pour it in the blender. Fill the empty lime juice can with beer then pour it in the blender. Blend to desired consistency. Serve.
You put the beer in the coconut and mix it all around.
Yeah, fuck it. It got stuck in my head and now it’s in yours.
Obligatory:
I did that yesterday. Hoping to do it again tonight.
Thanks for the visual, Karen Carpenter.
HEY THAT’S MY LINE!!!!!!!
-Michael irvin
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hemingway-sees-the-lion-king
The Shiner Bock reserve has been depleted. Night Folks, maybe Friday I”ll check in? Preseason starts in 2 weeks. I’m getting my Giants/Eli/Duke jokes ready now.
Plenty of off-season content to entertain you 7 days a week!
This was filmed in London (England), which is at a latitude slightly north of Calgary, AB. Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) is at the same latitude as the Panama Canal. Yet the prostitutes are the same.
Come get your daily dose of the herp.
Might as well. It’s not like you can get it twice.
But watch out for Hep C.
She could offer me full blown AIDs and I’m jumping at it like Magic for a rebound.
Makes sense, since Magic’s not really worried about catching it twice.
Pretty sure he had more than one rebound.
Ok, tried the fold and cut method. Good tip.
Damn it. Redshirt’s book mention has me watching Batman Begins now, which is a great movie up through the police finding Falcone ties to the spotlight.
Also, Tom Wilkinson looks just like an old boss I had. It’s eerie.
You have our attention
last beer.
The hero beer.
I cal this gif “Curious Tits”
Is she supposed to be a cop?
Yes. It was originally a spinoff of Bad Boys 2 with Gabrielle Union as her DEA agent character and Jessica Alba was her partner. Now they’re LAPD.
?♂️
Badge on hip says “stripper cop”
Come out with your Pasties on!
Stripper Cop is the bestest kind of cop.
I think.
OK, perhaps I didn’t think that through….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTo8ooEY2uA
Do you think the cicada bros brag about who got laid the most?
Isn’t that what all the noise is about?
that’s them “hollering at bitches”
It can be two things.
What part Canada Land will be most like Texas Hill country once the planet heats up?
Manitoba is my guess.
Hate to keep making the same point, but your collective humour keeps me sane. Thanx.
That’s why we’re here.
Honestly.
I’m here for my own insanity (and inanity) thankyouverymuch
I know taste vary but I highly recommend Mark Ronson’s new album.
It’s weird seeing snow on Mt. Hood. It’s the middle of July. Even Taos’s snow melted in summer.
She has her mom’s everything.
Especially her feet, I hope
— Quentin Tarantino
So, I got bit by a dog a week ago. Went and got it looked at the next day, and was prescribed ten days of oral (heh) antibiotics. Never missed a dose this week, and it wasn’t getting any worse, but it wasn’t getting any better either. And despite following the rules, I spent the last week on the john, shitting my eyeballs out. Then yesterday, my calf blew up to the size of a goddamn football. Off to the clinic I went, and the doc took one look and asked me why I wasn’t in the ER.
Went to the ER where they figured out that the mechanism that made my weight-loss surgery work so well a few years ago, also means I wasn’t absorbing the pills either. So now I get a week solid of daily IV treatments. Hooray for now two weeks of forced sobriety!
Goddammit. And I can’t even really feel that bad, because they’re setting me up with these IVs in a chemo clinic where people have some real problems. Kinda puts shit in perspective.
That blows. At least the dog wasn’t rabid. And, yeah, at least you’re going to be in and out of that chemo clinic.
Try some DFO humor on them. They always seem to crave comedy because everyone and everything else around them is so goddamn serious.
Why’d the dog bite you? You anger it or did it attack you?
It was my uncle’s dog. He was pitching a tent in my grandparent’s backyard because their house was full. The pooch was running around the yard, chasing a frisbee looking happy as hell. He walked over to me and I bent down and gave him the back of the hand to sniff to know I’m friendly. What my uncle failed to inform me is that his dog might be dyslexic and interprets the back of the hand as a threat. He latched onto my calf, hard. My uncle smacked him to get him off me, I smacked my uncle for smacking the dog and started bleeding like a stuck pig.
I was just bummed because it obviously has a few issues, and I’m at the point of my life where I like all dogs more than most people.
Understood. It was just startled and thought you were threatening him.
The dog can live.
Who’s a good boy!
That looks like my toothbrush. Seriously
Also, it sounds like your uncle’s dog is also in need of some IV medication.
Woof.
Cousin brought me six cases of Shiner Bock when he visited last month. I’m down to my last two beers.
There is a tear in my beer tonight.
Holy shit. Scarlett Johansson is nearly twice her age from when she was in Lost in Translation (I’m watching it for some reason).
Fuck. i saw that in theaters.
Aging sucks.
Same here.
Yes. You can tell she’s aged, but only because she looked so innocent in Lost in Translation.
Not gonna lie. She was hotter then.
We all were.
I pretty much look the same.
😐
Mrs B is flying to Vancouver on Thursday (I think) to watch her friend do the Ironman in Whistler this weekend (I’ve been looking for a Vegas-area sportsbook that will let me put ten G’s on him drowning — no luck yet). I’m going to reward myself with some Raiders gear as a reward for taking care of blaxito for the weekend.
https://www.lids.com/nfl-oakland-raiders/oakland-raiders-swarovski-crystal-large-football-helmet/o-1361+t-47042670+p-14610558488+z-9-2882609684
Rumor going around is Zeke traded to Raiders. Zeke is Sin CIty for extended period of time is trouble.
This is why the personal conduct rules need to be eliminated in the next CBA negotiations.
The one thing i do more of is reading during the Summer. That will be missed if we nix Summer
Read/Reading:
FKA USA – starting to seem more plasuble by the day
Mars Trilogy – I reread these three books every couple years
Gravity’s Rainbow – never got around to reading this.
The last book I read was in 2005 and that was a Batman book.
Hush or the one where Maxwell Lord gets his plans for incapacitating the other members of the Justice League?
Huh. I forgot he was played by the guy who was Mike Dexter in Can’t Hardly Wait on Supergirl. And he will be played by Pedro Pascal in the Wonder Woman sequel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XNBUGWx7cM
Batman: No Man’s Land. Its surprisingly good. I’m still waiting for DCAU to do a movie about it, but it might be hard to explain Huntress, Cassandra Cain (pre-Flashpoint edition) and Azreal.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/107105.Batman
Wasn’t the last Nolan movie based on No Man’s Land?
Inspired but not the complete story.
In NML, USA cut off access to Gotham City and declaring it not part of the country, state or county (is that an option?). It wasn’t held hostage by terrorists.
Also, it had all the rogues, plus Lex Luthor as one of the villains with a cameo or two by Superman. Plus it had all the Batfamily as of 1999 (Batman, Nightwing, Robin III, Oracle, Huntress, Azreal) with Gordon and the GCPD as an important role. It was also the introduction to Cassandra Cain as Batgirl.
If they wanted to do a No Man’s Land and do it justice, it would have to be two movies. Anything less would be completely rushed.
I’ve read some Pynchon. The Crying of Lot 49. Haven’t read Gravity’s Rainbow though.
I try to read between 25-30 books a year. Currently reading Palahniuk Adjustment Day and just finished Far North which was really good. I’ll get back to my Southern noir soon.
I checked out four nonfiction books and one novel all at once. I need to at least finish the novel this week.
A friend sent me Gravity’s Rainbow when I was in a psych ward a few years ago. She either wanted me to kill myself or she has a really dark sense of humor.
Homemade pasta is resting. So am I. Need to pick a beer.
Did you do the roll flat cut with a sharp knife thing?
I was a mad fucking scientist with the pasta attachments today.
Improvement by repetition.
I’m just starting with simple farfalle. Gotta drool before I can spit, or something
Folks. Can we fast-forward to Fall? I don’t think anyone would mind.
Summer sucks. I’m tired of sweating.
Summer rules. And luckily I’ve moved to the future site of the only livable part of the continental U.S. where it’ll be like L.A. but with longer days and nights thanks to the latitude.
You moved to Buffalo?
Buffalo isn’t even livable now.
Update from last night’s Open thread: tonight they are long-line helicopter rescuing a girl from Lynn Canyon after hurting herself cliff diving. That makes two idiots having to be rescued this weekend from just my part of town.
Wow, I’m suddenly proud I didn’t fall down the stairs while drunk and/or high.
DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!!!!!!
Oh, I meant “allegedly” drunk and/or high.
It’s all we can judge since you didn’t give us a fall and landing to score
Its sad that in today’s world, I didn’t realize she was diving off a cliff into water and just thought she was diving off a cliff just because.
Shame it didn’t have an exciting turn of events like that spinning old woman in Phoenix.
Well my friends that was a delicious dinner that you can read all about.
Eventually.
Fuck me that was good.
Time for some drankin’!
Current Betting Odds – Democratic Party Primary
K. Harris – 2/1
E. Warren – 4/1
J. Biden – 9/2
B. Sanders – 9/1
P. Buttigieg – 10/1
WHO YA GOT?!
Where did you get those? Or are they an original creation?
https://www.gambling.com/us/online-betting/strategy/us-democratic-primary-betting-1817000
I’ll take the 2-1 exacta, Warren/Harris.
I would vote the fuck out of that ticket.
Yes, although I’d probably rather have the non-President one in a role besides Veep.
Kamala as AG, or Warren at Treasury, for example.
Veep can go to Buttjudge (just to piss off anti-gheys) or like Klochubar (just to piss off misogynists).
I would like this ticket as just a friend. Sorry, but I just don’t like Warren as a candidate.
If Warren wins, then the Orange Asshole will scream Socialist and Hillary 2.0.
(Spoiler: Assholes will scream that regardless of who the nominee is)
The republicans would call the reincarnation of Reagan Nixon a socialist if they ran as a democrat
My great grandfather always said he’d vote for Satan himself rather than vote for a Democrat.
Currently Harris is ahead, but she has to continue to build momentum. We really need to thin the herd so we can really hear the differences.
I like the line on Warren
Harris is a mortal lock. She is who the DNC wants and she is who they will get.
She was get her ass kicked in the general short of Trump completely blowing it when the economy collapses this winter. There is no actual built in base for right wing corporate Democrats like her or Biden or Buttigieg. She trails Bernie and Biden with minorities who know she built her career on locking up minorities. And frankly, delivering a slightly less ruthless agenda than Trump isn’t worth voting for.
This is the same party that decided when W was president that the hill to die on for Hispanics is immigration – something that we are actually conservative on (for very logical economic reasons but also because of the racism among many groups lumped into that demographic term. Most of those people coming from Central America don’t even speak Spanish. They’re indigenous peoples and there’s no base for that group) instead of, oh, I don’t know, anything else to actually improve material conditions. Beto couldn’t beat Ted Cruz and he had money and charisma behind him and the most hateable man in Texas as his opponent. He’s irrelevant but it also speaks to how Harris is just as likely to not increase turnout in states that will go red for sure or could be flipped. She will win Michigan in the primary but I don’t see her winning it in the general. I have no hope for Florida or Ohio in the general.
Basically I see what Democrats have done since taking the House and extrapolating that forward based on what they say they will do, people aren’t going to care and they aren’t going to vote because it has proven the standard non-voter canard: “What difference does it make?”
Only games I get with my bullshit package are MLS tilts on FS1. That’s bad.
The local Sheetz had Flying Dog’s “The Truth” imperial IPA (8.7%) at a reasonable price. That’s good!
The beer contains potassium benzoate.
I suck
“That’s good!”
– J. Epstein
You have my attention.
(it’s not gay if you’re receiving)
Actual flying dogs would be scary as hell.
Good thing President Trump is saving us from scary environmental regulations down here
Thanks to his leadership, I use coal instead of gasoline in my car.
It doesn’t run any more, but I feel more American.
“In 2016, we didn’t want to vote for the one with the vagina so we went to the other side of the taint.”
– Christopher Titus, Amerigeddon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoLcl87g47s
You can tell on the show about the 2007 Ohio State-Michigan game that this game is haunting and will continue to haunt them for the rest of their lives. They were so emotionally spent from The Game and on so much a high, that Ohio State came in overconfident and promptly got destroyed.
That opening TD return by Ginn was probably the worst thing that could’ve happened to that team. It cemented the idea that they were the best team and they were going to march over Florida, then before they knew it, its halftime and Florida was up by three touchdowns.
Just got back in from Festival Latino. It reminds me of Stampede in that you can see so many gorgeous (Latina) women in such a close proximity, that you can’t help but wonder where the hell these women are the rest of the year, cause you never seem to see them.
Were they dressed as cowgirls? Cuz, yum!
How is it that the Jets get a song in “West Side Story” but the Sharks don’t?
found a funny:
SON: sharks are scary, daddy
DAD: no need to be scared, a lot of other things are more likely to kill you than sharks!
SON: like what?
[a long scrape is heard as vending machine slowly slides into the room]
The Baltimore Orioles beat the Boston Red Sox today 5-0.
Asher Wojciechowski, the Orioles’ starter, actually had a no hitter going thru 7 innings.
I think someone slipped some LSD into my drink. Surely that can’t be serious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM2K7sV-K74
Yeah, my Reds of course lost 2-1. The Bengals season can’t start fast enough. Wait, what did I just type?
Sounds like Redshirt got into my LSD laced drink too!!!!!
Hey, it means the Yanks gained a game on both Tampa and Boston this weekend, so yay Orioles!
I don’t have to outswim the shark. I just have to outswim you.