What do you want me to say here? That I told you so? That 2019 had all the makings of a dog sh*t season and now, like blaxito waking up this morning after managing to undo one of his diaper tabs, NFL viewers are standing in a pile of sh*t — though at least blaxito has the awareness to not pay $200 for a Brown jersey? No, I would never say that.
Anyways, here are your Week 2 Quotables submissions. Don’t spend them all in one place.
[…] 2019 Quotables – Week 2 (Submissions) – September 17, 2019 […]
The Jets are so bad they can’t even let the Browns Browns themselves
Trevor should get his ankle fixed by whoever manufacturers the chin strap for his helmet.
And when you keep pounding, eventually the little swimmers come out, and you see, well just don’t pull a Carruth
Discount Double Check your excitement when you barely beat Trubisky and Capt Dingleberry back to back
“Either one of you boys got soft hands and a visa problem?”
Jim Langer’s corpse: /cums
Anything to avoid the party at blax’s house.
“That’s why I ran for President.” –Donald J. Trump
Fucking Cody Parkey
This is what happens when Fat Humps eat Hot Chicken
Years from now we’re gonna see this gif in court as the plaintiff’s case that the NFL ignored the blatant signs of CTE
“Gentlemen, please, it’s not nice to stare at the lardasses.”
Hey, it’s Enrico Pallazzo!
Ric Ocasek wasn’t the only Car to die this weekend.
Very good submission.
???
“Carr damage? Uh-oh, better call MAACO!”
Jesus, we could do better than that! – Bills Mafia
OR
His flight was straight and true like a North Korean missile.
Kalen – “I saved a fumble!”
Fitz – “But you didn’t catch the ball!”
Kalen – “Exactly”
“You put your left foot in
they take your left foot off..”
I thought you said we’d dink and duck our way up field.
You said dunk, damn
-Kalen Ballage
Andy Reid’s master plan for Smoked Brisset went awry.
Low and slow!
It was on this day that David finally learned that Carr’s don’t fly well.
He really shouldn’t make fun of Cam’s CTE induced palsy.
Bills Mafia drools and ready’s tables for destruction
“Ook ook!” (Translation: “Get your hands off me, you damn dirty human!”)
“Let my brethren go.”
-nomonkeyfun
Well at least he has that librarian job to fall back on.
Great. More Sieman in the library.
♫ ..walk like an Egyptian..♫
“Ooh, pounded Carrsteaks for dinner.”
-A. Reid
David wasn’t really into BDSM. He just took the punishment. I seek it out.
/not pictured, Jerry Richardson rubbing the lamp up in the owner’s box
Good thing he’s not still a Bronco, they probably won’t have to put him down.
When do we get to say “So long, and thanks for all the fish?”
Although accounts of it have been lost to history, Garrett was also responsible for the death of the lesser-known “Trevor the Kid”.
Deep cut
“This time, get me TWO masseuses. I want to try something Antonio described to me, but I don’t want to have use my hands.”
“Hey Fitz, check out my Doug Martin impression!”
Derek Carr And The Infinite Sadness
/yes, this is repurposed LiveBlog commentary, corrected first name because not high
Where are my leftover kidney stone pillz??
“Seems strange to do this pose again for an ‘anonymous fan’ but with our uniforms on this time.”
Put it out guys. We’re a week early for Eli Manning’s funeral pyre.
“Red … Zone … ? Do those go together?” – Titans
In case you missed it in last night’s thread (this was added around 1:30 A.M. PST), OBJ reacting to the ESPN Deportes guy beginning his interview in Spanish.
With audio: https://thumbs.gfycat.com/KlutzyElatedBlacknorwegianelkhound-mobile.mp4
You want to run this? YOU WANT MY JOB?!
“What are we doing? The “Genie in a Bottle” celebration? YMCA? Help us out here, so we can join in!”
♫ I believe I can fly ♫
Ooops, never mind.
Congratulations to Daniel Jones on being the Giants’ new sacrifice to the gods so the Mara sisters will never have to work in their lives.
Kalen thought it would be best to let one of his own go free.
♪ Born free! As free as a Qardinal! ♪
If no one but me thought of Safety Dance, I’m going to be very disappointed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi7mBzdDHyY
You know that dance wasn’t really that safe.
My first thought was of Christina Aguilera
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIDWgqDBNXA
“You don’t usually see “the browns” have this kind of success against jets.”
-US SecDef, ad infinitum
Took me a sec, but that is good.
A little too on-the-nose 9/11 tribute, don’t you think?
JET FUEL CAN’T MELT SHIT FIELDS!
“I can’t even watch this gawd-awful team anymore.”
Alternate: “Anybody know where I parked my car?”
Ladies and Gentlemen! Your Miami Dolphins!!!!
Fucking monkeys can’t play this game right.
There goes my chance to run for President some day, unless I run for today’s Republican party. (Sorry Redshirt. You’re one of the good ones.)
I haven’t seen Sieman being ejected like that since sexy Friday.
This week on the NFL, we give you America: The Origin Story.
Oh that’s pretty good.