Your “Expectations & Obligations” Saturday Evening Post

So tonight is WineWife’s Office Christmas party. We’ve all been down that road before – the +1 to a partner’s corporate function. It’s so much worse when you are the invitee, because there’s some sort of higher expectation for both bad and good behaviour. The co-workers all want to see the downtown version of my wife, so they can gossip around the office.

But they also know they never will, so they hold out that the BeerGuy version of me will show up, even if I’m wearing the suit & bothered to put a brush through my hair.

I assume that’s why there’s an open bar.

But knowing there’s an open bar also puts WineWife’s spotlight squarely on me, because any behavioural tic is going to be hyper-analyzed. Even a simple belly laugh at her boss’ joke will gain critical attention and/or a sniff-test breathalyzer. Twenty-seven years of selling beer & projecting my voice means I’m louder than most people, a fact which will not help at a 200-person dinner. Honestly, I’d rather be sick than spend an entire evening uncomfortably dressed & waiting to be yelled at over some minor indiscretion that likely won’t even be my fault.

Sunday Broadcast maps: (courtesy 506sports.com)

CBS EARLY

█ Baltimore @ Buffalo – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█ Denver @ Houston – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█ Indianapolis @ Tampa Bay – Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta

█ Miami @ NY Jets – Tom McCarthy, Jay Feely

█ Cincinnati @ Cleveland – Beth Mowins, Tiki Barber

I don’t want to tell CBS how to do their job, but aren’t they even a little…concerned (?) pairing a lady up with Tiki Barber? I’m assuming he’ll be wearing some sort of shock collar, or HR is offscreen with tranq darts.

CBS LATE

█ Kansas City @ New England – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo

█ Tennessee @ Oakland – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

█ Pittsburgh @ Arizona – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

I know “standings” say five of these teams have “playoff aspirations”, but c’mon. There’s only one game worth watching here.

FOX SINGLE

█ San Francisco @ New Orleans – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis

█ Washington @ Green Bay – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber

█ Detroit @ Minnesota – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman

█ Carolina @ Atlanta – Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston

█ LA Chargers @ Jacksonville (LATE) – Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth

For the life of me, I don’t get why eastern Montana gets the Packers – [Redacteds] game. And the over/under on “San Diego” references is 5, because Mark Schlereth is an idiot.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Leafs at Blues – 7:00PM | CBC / Sportsnet
  • Kings at Flames – 10:00PM | CBC / Sportsnet
• NBA:
  • Pacers vs. Knicks – 7:30PM | TSN
  • Grizzlies vs.Jazz – 10:00PM | TSN
• NCAA:
  • Pigskin:
    • ACC Football Championship: Virginia vs. Clemson – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN3
    • Big Ten Football Championship: Ohio State vs. Wisconsin – 8:00PM | FOX
  • Hoops: a selection
    • Colorado at Kansas – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN4
    • Marquette at Kansas State – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN4
• Pugilism:
  • UFC Fight Night: Overeem vs. Rozenstruik
    • Prelims – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
    • Main Card – 9:00PM | ESPN / TSN5

Well, that’s it for me this week.

Enjoy the games tomorrow. Oh yeah – and remember Pearl Harbor.