Eventual Balls Thoughts V

So, this was the post that was supposed to be abbreviated because I was going to be on a plane heading off to a foreign land. Well, the events of last week changed all that dramatically.

So, I’m here and not going anywhere. HOWEVAH, many things happened at DFO last week. Let’s talk about them.

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DFO Banner Tournament!

The tourney is going strong and we are now into the second round. As expected, the choices have become harder to make. There have been some really good comments that have lost because they came up against an eventual semifinalist.

Here are your winners so far with my choices listed in bold:

• “Only thing wetter than this Ravens-Steelers game is my wife seeing the Witcher in the tub.” (58%)
• “The Bengals have a bye next week. They’re three point underdogs.” (69%)
• “Touchdown, Mohammad. NO, NBC! DON’T SHOW HIS PICTURE!” (58%)
• “The Dolphins just announced that their entire roster will be listed as Questionable for next week. They’re not injured, just really fucking questionable.” (51%)
• “The way the Jets are hitting him, Renfrow’s nickname must be World Trade Center.” (76%)
• “‘Two base error’ also describes the first time I had sex.” (87%)
• “In honor of Veteran’s Day I’ve taken a shot of Bulleit and neglected to adequately provide mental health services to myself.” (67%)
• “Spitse is a very popular player in the Netherlands, but not so much as her cousin Swallowse.” (57%)
• “These goal posts are taking it like an NFL girlfriend lately.” (54%)
• “THIS JASON GARRETT, I CALL HIM HILLARY CLINTON BECAUSE HE TOOK WISCONSIN LIGHTLY AND IT’S GOING TO COST HIM A JOB” (52%)
• “Like an improvised rope made of bedsheets, Sharkbait’s banner held together long enough to strangle the competition.” (56%)
• “I’ve had enough of condescending bodies of water. Get over yourself, Lake Superior.” (52%)
• Tony Romo’s mic breaking down is perfect, because Tony Romo always fell apart in the postseason.” (52%)
• “I’m not saying Belichick’s son looks like a homeless person, but Scotchy just slit his throat.” (57%)
• “If Garrett had only hit a woman with that helmet he’d be back by Week 14.” (69%)
• “If the German men’s team is called ‘Die Mannschaft,’ then it follows that the women’s team should be called ‘Die Neinschaft.’” (60%)

As you can see, a lot of these votes were VERY close. A few were decided by only 1 vote! Make sure you vote early and often!

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BC Dick’s Curling Updates

My favourite curling team is on a bit of a tough patch as they dropped their second consecutive match. To make things worse, BC Dick agreed to do a preview of the World Championships only for them to be canceled shortly thereafter.

The next thing will be that the curling season will be canceled by Justin Trudeau so as to avoid large gatherings!

Alls I know is that if the gouvernment decides to cancel doughnuts and maple syrup, the Canadiens will RIOT.

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Psych Marathon Update

I am now in Season 5. Abigail broke up with Shawn at the end of Season 4 as Mr. Ying (the counterpart to Mr. Yang from Season 3) tried to kill both her and Juliet.

Shawn was given the choice of which to save and it was interesting to see that he went to save Abigail while sending Gus and Lassie to save Juliet. And it got him a breakup.

That’s love for you.

My favourite episode of Season 5 so far has been the one with the How To Be a Gentleman guy

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the hot hot HOT wife of one of their friends in the Aliens episode:

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The Week in DFO

These are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:

“I’ll murder you, your wife, your children, your pets, burn your house to the ground, salt the earth, and piss on the ashes. Then, I’ve have Dave drive donuts on the lot.”
— tWBS actual quote

WCS

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37A: Eats pussy (4 letters)
THEINDIGOGIRLS

Brick

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“Second tier NCAA basketball leagues-this is the very last refuge of the once thriving population of gangly, un-athletic, tripping-over-their-own-feet, six foot nine plus white athletes. Soon, there will be none left.”
-Sir David Attenborough

scotchnaut

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“What comment?” — Joe Paterno’s Ghost

Dunstan

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If this was a just world this health scare would be centered around Pabst Blue Ribbon, not Corona.

scotchnaut

Is that considered a Pabst Smear?

Porky Prime

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Well crap. I just learned that “Covid-19” has the same syllable count as “Come on Eileen” and now I can’t unhear it…
Covid-19
There is no vaccine
In this moment, make your hands real clean!

Dok Zymm

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How on earth is it possible that Planters makes a product called “Cheez Balls” but refuses to make one called “Deez Nuts”?

Rikki Tikki Deadly

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But can it exclude Chinamen and the drunken Irish?
Sure can! The railroads are already built!

Brick

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Work IT products always work uniformly for everyone, including Stan who can’t use the office toaster oven without summoning the fire department.

Old School Zero

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Dear fuck, whatever will we stick to now??

King Hippo

The sheets, if I know you wankers!

Gumbygirl

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Ya know how on American TV news they show a detailed map of the U.S., and then Canada & Mexico are just grayed out? On Canadian TV news the U.S. is just grayed out. What a bunch of assholes.

Brick

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In these trying times, let us remember to thank Moose for providing quality gifs to keep us entertained as we are quarantined in our homes.

See you next week!