Salutations and Well Wishes Friends!
Enjoy these Pats Schadenfreude Day activities and more:
- Relish the Wailing of WEEIers;
- See if Bill Simmons makes a post in social media. Remember if he doesn’t say anything for 48 hours it means 6 more months of passive aggressive whining;
- Quiz a Pats fan on the history of the NFL before 2001;
- Cast Aspersions at Massholes;
- Pronounce “R”s correctly.
Let’s start up that ol’ PSD chant!
Pitchers and Catchers! Clap-Clap-ClapClapClap. Pitchers and Catchers! Clap-Clap-ClapClapClap. Pitchers and Catchers! Clap-Clap-ClapClapClap.
Well done.
Here is a gif you can use.
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Meanwhile, In Dorchester…
http://www.lolwall.co/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/embarrassing-pictures-3-women-drunk1.jpg?dd7ac9
The Patriots lost and I saw the Patriots lost and then the Patriots looked at me.
Did the Patriots have babies?
Von Miller had as many hands as Vishnu, and they were all VERY BUSY.
Was it like a crusty look or…………..
This thread is the only thing preventing me from walking into a Japanese bus this morning (the level of insanity coming from both the US office and the Japanese factory is intense).
The only way this could have been better is if somehow the Panthers beat both the Cardinals and the Pats.
“I’m not making excuse but the only time the Broncos offense was able to get a first down is when none of our tablets were working. Not why we lost but it could have been. Either way just a statement of fact.”
This should be the banner quote, now and forever.
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2015/09/11/at-least-five-teams-have-suspected-patriots-of-headset-tampering/
For the record (and for posterity), here is the link where that tasty nugget was delivered: http://www.barstoolsports.com/boston/emergency-press-conference-pats-lose/
Come for the tablet blame, stay for the assumption that the “Super Bowl would be [their] only challenge.”
Oh the long suffering Pats fan…when will they ever get a chance raise a trophy?
One of my favorite things to come out of this game is that if Manning retires after this season, for all the talk of Pey-Pey choking in the playoffs, he will have a winning record against Dreamboat in said playoffs.
For me, leaning that fact after the game yesterday is like opening all your presents on Christmas, and then realizing you forgot about your stocking and now get to go see what you can find there.
http://s10.postimg.org/iw5ppzrax/index.jpg
New England Patriots: 2015 AFC Finalists
At least they don’t suck so badly that they’d actually put it on a banner:
For some reason this one has gone under the radar:
Good morning starshine!
http://ftw.usatoday.com/2016/01/some-patriots-fans-are-convinced-roger-goodell-is-behind-tabletgate This is just glorious.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/99ebe386ce09885e20e62855e9e59e05/tumblr_o1hteshAMI1qzxzupo1_500.gif
There’s a guy in my office I couldn’t wait to talk to this morning. I think he took about 5 Xanax, because I’ve never seen him even close to this happy before.
Got banned three separate times from the Patriots subreddit.
But this, this is the very best example of the Patriots’ fanbase
http://imgur.com/JiYrc7h
NO ONE DENIES THIS
http://i.imgur.com/JiYrc7h.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/477dd9c0b1aa018eb679b9be821bafd0/tumblr_o1hejwpQn61s8esgpo8_1280.jpg
Collinsworth is on Dan Patrick right now saying that people have a problem with Cam Newton because it’s a “millenial thing.” No Cris, it’s because he’s a ni
A nihlist?
Need a fucking edit button.
Lemme try it again:
A nihilist?
A nightmare to defend!
No no – they’re people who annoy you.
He said Cam Newton is near?
It’s all about perception. From our angle, Pats Schadenfreude Day is a time to recognize the one true right thing that happens most seasons. For Bostonians, it’s their Festivus where everyone airs their grievances and fights.
To celebrate Patriots Schadenfreude Day, I made my first-ever trip over to Barstool Sports. Holy shit, that was an amazing decision. The butthurt was palpable… I could sense it through my laptop screen. If I could, I would trap the tears coming out of New England and use them to marinate a pork loin in the slow cooker. I’m just…. so happy.
I also got to come across one of these gems from BSP: “I’m not making excuse but the only time the Broncos offense was able to get a first down is when none of our tablets were working. Not why we lost but it could have been. Either way just a statement of fact.”
Outstanding.
I really should have taken the day off from work to celebrate.
That tablet comment is so lacking in self-awareness, it’s amazing. LOVE IT!
“I’m not making excuses, but here’s an excuse. It might not have made the difference, but it might have been. FACK YOU FACK YOU FACK YOU.”
I’ve nominated it for all-time banner quote above.
Of course once the tablets stopped working, the announcers knew to call them “Microsoft Surface Tablets” instead of iPads.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/60823608.jpg
I noticed that. They did exceedingly well on the branding™ when the tablets were on the fritz. Microsoft must have been very pleased.
Clearly those tablets were not “up for anything.”
::pours one out for KSK, wonders what Tawmy from Quinzee is doing today::
This?
Well, at least its still hockey season!
/Looks at Rangers box score
//3-0 Loss to Ottawa.
Well fuck.
Pitchers and catchers report 2-19-16 and position players report 2-23-16.
Let’s go Cubbies.
First official “L” prediction, Carolina. Big. Peyton. Small.
Well after watching The Post game show on CSNNE, thanks Directv, we can safely conclude that The Broncos aren’t just inferior to The Pats, they should’ve lost by forty. Honestly I’ve lived through San Francisco 49er runs, Dallas Cowboys of the 90’s, [*Redacted] s, and yes we Giants fans are assholes too, but no one comes close to these cretins. I hope that all the butt plugs claiming that they’ll be back next year got a gander at the schedule: At Pittsburgh at Denver at Arizona and at San Francisco. Home for Seattle, Cincinatti and Baltimore. Add in the fact that The AFC East might not be a dumpster fire anymore and it looks like “The Patriot Way” is about to die a slow painful death.
The Pats have a very good D, still have Brady and will have Blount and Lewis back at RB next year. But if they don’t address that O-line they are fucked. Denver went through them like Panzers through Belgium.
I wish Peyton took PED’s then maybe he’d play decently, right now he is just a slightly upgraded Alex Smith.
Gentlemen, time for that honored tradition once more. Rank the Pats Schadenfreude Days!
Roll Call!
The day after Super Bowl XLII was the absolute best, by far, with the day after XLVI being one of those rare instances where the sequel was almost as good as the original.
That time they got dickstomped by the Ravens when Joe Flacco only completed like 6 passes was pretty fantastic, as well.
Since I’m living in the now, today is wonderful.
http://media.tumblr.com/38c18942ab349a7355e7e5f981287816/tumblr_inline_mhdttaYHUW1rbm8mp.gif
18-1 should always and forever be #1.
Could this Panthers team be the best 18-1 team ever?!
Holy crap! I hadn’t thought about that! EVEN MORE DELICIOUS SCHADENFREUDE!
They aren’t even the second best 18-1 team. If the Panthers win, you’ve got them at #1, the Bears at #2, and the Pats at a very distant #3 because those assholes lost the Super Bowl.
January 27, 1986, if only because of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INBayZpjeSY
What the fuck is a Liberty Tree?
While this is normally a great day indeed, it is no match for last year and I feel like what we’re about to get (two weeks of NAUSEATING PEDton Farewell Tour that will be 18 times worse than the Ray Lewis horseshit) is going to be very, very bad.
Really too bad you can’t do anything about it. To bad you don’t have the power, the power to turn it off some how. Like if there was a switch or something that would change the frequency to a different incoming frequency, maybe even some kind of power disconnect thingy.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/6526ca97367da236547f81afb1a3d0b4/tumblr_nwfhappjV41r5r8duo6_400.gif
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Looks like Super Bowl 50 is one game the courts can’t force Brady into!
Goddamn, my head hurts so fucking badly. Curse you, losing. And curse you, alcohol.
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/3-17-2015/0a5PKC.gif
The sun seems a little brighter today, doesn’t it?
The solution, of course, is more alcohol.
/Or two bottles of Gatorade, aspirin and a nap.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/659be7bdb60274021f4d06d088ff245c/tumblr_o1fpbmuCgf1qa70eyo1_400.gif
I was upset last night and decided to go try to make others feel bad to lessen my own pains. Here is what happened:
Read: DEN Fan’s Facebook post about Manning defeating Brady.
Read: 3rd Party response asking who has more rings and who injects his forehead with HGH.
Bitterly Type: Practically speaking, everyone know Brady uses PEDs due to his relationship with Guerrero.
Read: 3rd Party response that their relationship was disproven so [Zzzzzz Emoji].
Bitterly Type: Link to article regarding TB12/Guerrero existing relationship
Read: 3rd Party response that “So what?” because everyone cheats and Steelers video other teams.
It was painful and I’m ashamed of wasting any amount of time on this — but I’d do it again and I hope to every single season until I die.
I thought Guerrero is just guilty of giving TB happy ending’s at the end of his unlicensed massage therapy sessions.
You can have both.
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I love every one of these, even the ones my browser chooses not to show me.
Bad Lip Reading: “A HOT SAMMICH??!!!”
That is fucking weird. Get the fuck out of my damn head.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/57a8a07ec26bc2a6d345347bbe8ddbf1/tumblr_o16f4eTlfZ1qaqx8xo2_500.gif
“Hey, Persona! Persona!”
Does he have a problem with the Oscar nominations?
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Bad Lip Reading: “THAT’S A FUNNY PURSE, SON!”
Bad Lip Reading: “WHAT’S A FROG?”
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LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!!
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So, I wonder who the Patriots will take with the 61st pick in the draft? Some gritty WR? Definitely not a RB, no. Who needs those?
They’ll trade that pick for two 5th rounders.
Goodell just stripped them of that draft pick, for whatever cheating they were probably doing yesterday.