Super Bowl Shocker: The Unedited Footage Planned Parenthood Doesn’t Want You To See

Hey everyone. I’m David Daleiden, you may remember me from the video that blew the lid off the illegal aborted baby parts black market operation being run out of the Houston Planned Parenthood. Today I’m undercover at what we believe to be a large and hitherto unknown Planned Parenthood facility that’s home to even more gruesome fetal organ harvesting.

Just gonna step inside here…

Holy shit. Holy shit. James O’Keefe is here too.

I didn’t know he was doing Planned Parenthood today too! Should… I go talk to him? I’m gonna go talk to him. 

Psssst! James! James, what are you doing here? And in the pimp suit? I love the pimp suit, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t really know what it has to do with Planned Parenthood and… isn’t the blackface maybe a bit much?

Von Miller: Um, I’m Von Miller.

Oh. Oh of course. Sorry, never mind. I’ll just be on my way.

Now, this room’s full of weights, which is tells you a lot. They’re undoubtedly for crushing babies, as is standard in partial birth abortions.

Okay. Okay, this guy looks like he’s a clinic administrator or something. Excuse me? Sir?

Gary Kubiak: Send on the punt team!

What?

Kubiak: Sorry, habit. What can I help you with?

I’m here about buying some fetus organs.

Kubiak: Hmm. Well, I’m hesitant to part with them. We really need the stem cells, you know? Can you pay cash up front? I need it for circumventing the salary cap.

You… sorry?

Kubiak: I said I need it for my, um, cat… salary. Anyway, why don’t you just step into the fetus organs room right here and have a look?

Yeah, okay. I’ll just have a look and be back in a minute.

Guys, I can’t believe it was this easy. These baby-killers are going down. Can’t wait to put this online.

There’s some kind of tub in here. Lots of ice. And… oh god. There’s something else.

Oh my god. This is worse than I imagined. Oh my god, look at this hideously deformed fetus.

Peyton Manning: Please get that camera out of my face.

AAAAAAAAA IT’S TALKING TO ME

Manning: [removing Beats By Dre] Son, what the hell are you screaming about?

Wait. You’re… you’re not a fetus.

Manning: A what? Oh, right, right. Yeah, Coach likes to fuck with people that there are a bunch of dead baby parts in here. Weird, right? Works for me, though. Got to set up my lucky cold tub in here. Bet Cam wishes he’d thought of this.

You know what, whatever. I’m out. Panthers, 20-10. What a fucking abortion.