As you may or may not have heard, it’s DAYTONA DAY!
Of course, this is stupid Fox marketing to try to hype up something that shouldn’t have to be hyped up. It’s like saying Happy Super Bowl Day!
Completely stupid.
Anyway, they do call it NASCAR’s Super Bowl even though it’s the first race of the season and doesn’t decide the championship. So, what does the Daytona 500 mean to me?
A while back, a much younger Balls worked with a friend that was really into NASCAR. He invited younger Balls to his house for the 500. I arrived a precisely the time the TV said the race would start. Of course, that was just the start of the broadcast and there was still the anthem, the invocation (They pray at the track?!?), the Gentlemen Start Your Engines, and finally the Green Flag.
As soon as the Green Flag dropped, my buddy said, “Ok, let’s go outside and get some beers and get the grill going.”
The rest of the day was spent eating and drinking in the back yard while occasionally going in to check to see how many laps had been run. Once it got to 30 to go, we went back inside and watched the end of the race.
And yes, there was a Big One.
Now, who is going to win this year’s race?
Your guess is as good as mine. The frustrating thing about the Daytona 500 (and the other Daytona race and both Talladega races) is that luck plays an extremely large role in who wins. There are several drivers that excel at restricted plate tracks, but if they get caught up in someone else’s mess, they are screwed.
With that said, given that this group loves a good drink and a good eating, I suggest you follow the 500 as I did way back when. Consider this the backyard and post funny gifs and videos while drinking and checking in occasionally to see if anyone has wrecked.
But do watch the last 30 laps. It’s the best part.
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The site got a little wonky there for a bit but it seems to be better now.
Not fun when you’re a few hundred words and photos into a post and it did not save your work.
Maybe it’s just the doobage.
Anyone interested in a new Sunday Gravy?
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Holy shit. Distractions took more toll out of me than Sonny at the Turnpike.
Either Don Mattingly became self-aware, or we really are through the looking glass, people.
http://deadspin.com/don-mattinglys-marlins-take-a-lesson-from-mr-burns-ba-1760453246
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I spent the day hiking and saw two bald eagles. Then I drank beer with a couple of friends, one of whom had a kid making his D-1 debut in baseball. We listened to the game and the kid went 3-4 with two doubles and an RBI. Now we’re going out for Mexican.
You’ll notice that at no time did I say “and then I watched men drive real fast in a circle” because fuck NASCAR.
I read it as “now we’re making out with a Mexican”……..fuck NAFTA.
Not that there’s anything wrong with making out with a Mexican.
You know, after watching this epidsode of Mickey Mouse Funhouse for the 124th time, I have to say it, Minnie is a real bitch and Daisy kind of a slut.
I’ve always harbored a real dislike for all of the Disney characters, except Daisy. Now it makes sense.
It’s now 4-0 Ice Vikes over Ice Bears at College Vikes Stadium.
Now it’s 5-1
My sister talking to me about the guy she would eventually married, after their first date.
Her: “He’s really nice and he loves NASCAR.”
Me (voice juicy with sarcasm): “Oh yeah, he’s gonna fit in around here, no problem.”
Then she cried. Sorry, older sister.
No Big One, but that was a great finish.
Mrs. Fozz has never, ever said that.
Which part?
Woooo!!!! Lisa gets new lips after all.
Damn my inability to approve my own comments awaiting moderation.
Wait, how did my comment need to await moderation? Can we not say “strippers”?
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I think you need to rehost them because of WordPress’s shitty embedding dealie-thing.
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I’m getting thrown into moderation on multiple posts.
Maybe I need to stop cursing so much.
Not sure why that happened. I just cleared a bunch.
Oh, man. Just read a great article on the history of the Tecmo Super Bowl Tournament. It was played for the last time this weekend. Enjoy.
http://www.polygon.com/2016/2/20/11077626/tecmo-madison-last-tournament-tribute-chet-josh-holzbauer
Did I just hear a cover of the classic “Roadrunner” in a goddamned target ad?
Could’ve been my iPod.
I much prefer this Rocky to Sly’s.
Just clicked over to the race during golf commercials.
Saw that Harry Hamlin was leading.
Awesome.
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Goddammit Harry….you pit and lose the lead? How the fuck you gonna pay for Lisa Rinna’s new lips now????
SMGDH
I don’t know what annoyed me more about doing MBE questions at Starbucks. The shitty music that got louder as it got more crowded, the fact that the college student next to me was half my age, or the incredibly hot other student studying right in front of me. I only mention that because she looked like this model I noticed when I was going through liked Instagram photos.
Did you rub your junk up on her? If not, don’t even speak to me.
Never even crossed my mind.
Molecular Beam Epitaxy?
Well, I am back from Ikea, and I am amazingly satisfied with the things we got. Also I was amazingly satisfied by my lunch, which consisted of a burger with cheddar, bacon, jalapeno slices, avocado, and green chile salsa.
Former Cowboys player arrested on battery charges. What a shock.
Sun rises in the east.
I’m really surprised more Eagles players don’t have this issue.
They leave that to their fans.
Go, Daddy.
/don’t have to tell me twice
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How’d she finish?
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Seriously half my links are coming back busted. Weeeeaaaaak
Avoid imgur….they no good.
Oh, so I survived my first bachelor party–uh, I mean I died and this is Zombie Weaselo and I want all your tasty Internet brains–yeah, that’s it.
What were the “activities”?
Whiskey bar, arcade bar, Korean BBQ, karaoke, cigar bar. Glad there were no strippers for my sake, I’m of the opinion that you (read: I) have to earn seeing the first set based on your own merits and charms.
MY KINGDOM FOR A FRESH TIRE!
i’ll Have What Phil’s Having is pretty good. He’s infinitely more likable than Anthony Bourdain, for damn sure.
What channel?
Netflix
Is the race still ongoing?
/watching golf
/yes, really
Adam Scott and Matt Kuchar are giving my fantasy team a nice boost this week.
/is hit by flying garbage can thrown by Porky
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I can’t watch this without playing the old NBA on NBC theme song in my head.
One guess where that douchebag went to college.
*sigh*
Wait, they have fantasy golf??
Man, nerds will do anything not to actually play real sports.
It’s barely halfway. Yes, really.
Dustin Johnson’s head looks too big.
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Looking ripped, but even in my 40s now, I bet I could take her out with a single punch.
Greg Hardy likes this +1
“I’d hit that.”
– J. Manziel
Oh that’s good! That might even be banner material.
His girlfriend is lucky JFF throws punches as well as he throws footballs.
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“For The Love Of God, NASCAR Fans, Apply Some Goddamn Deodorant Once In A While!”
-Advanced Autoparts Pit Performance Report
Hey, that Tim McGraw cologne don’t hold up past noon.
Why does Cialis discriminate against guys with high blood pressure?
/that ain’t right
#HypertensionLivesMatter
#NotAllDesperateWhiteDudes
#BonerPillzForEverbody
Ted Cruz’ new campaign slogan?
YOU get a boner, YOU get a boner, YOU get a boner…..
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