So the rumors of Bill’s demise were premature. There was plenty of shade thrown at him when the Pats struggled and Tommy Boy thrived on his new team last year. After all, when there’s a winner there must be a loser, right? Turns out the Pats are just fine and angling for that AFC North title once again. And I don’t even mind somehow. They’re now playing good, solid (although boring) football. As always.
Newsy Notes:
-It’s a thin day today so I’m reduced to talking about Kelly Stafford throwing a pretzel at a yipping fan. She apologized of course, which one should always do when throwing non-expired food away.
-Henry Ruggs missed a breathalyzer test. (I told you it was a skinny news day, plus the AB story was referenced in the other thread) Too busy moping around in his million dollar home, I guess.
-Joe Flacco is unvaccinated. A thought: I wonder how many folks who are deathly afraid of needles cover that up by bellowing, “I Got’s Ta Have Mah Freedoms!”.
To The Game!
Pats/Falcons:
-If you have Kyle Pitts you’re obviously starting him but New England, over the last four games, have given up an average of 3 catches and 26 yards to the position. Maybe Kyle can double that!
-Cordarelle Patterson is a game-timer with an ankle owie. (Did he consult Joe Rogan before seeking treatment?) He’s really the only bit of skill talent that the Falcons have. The other offerings at wr and rb are dreadful.
-Bill and Josh McDaniels did a fantastic job of sheltering Macaroon Jones early in the season and they now appear to have a competent rook qb on their oily hands. He’s actually the only one this year.
-This stat blew my little mind-despite having a sub-average 7.7 yards per attempt average, Jones is one of just a handful of qb’s (Burrow, Brady, DAK! and Stafford) that tosses a 20+ yard completion on over 10% of his overall throws.
Do your thing.
Goodnight, my darling dears! I’ll leave you with this disturbing thought
Would pet.
Yellow fellows are the best!
39 years later
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Thanks! I’m stuffed, with a nice buzz!
We went to a really cool old school restaurant tonight in Big Bear. Giant shrimp cocktail, prime rib. They even had those bright red spiced apple rings on curly parsley. Mad men! The people at the table next to us were Yinzers too. They took our picture. We are still pretty fucking cute!
Sounds like a fantastic night! Congrats and glad you had a great time 🙂
Happy anniversary, you crazy kids.
Looks like both of your turns in the barrel.
Amazing! Congrats!
Congratulations
Woohoo! Congrats!!
Happy anniversary!
Virtual hugs for kitties
Stupid kitties are the best kitties
Cat Daddy Jake has an allure to it.
As much as I love Red October’s version, I still think Rocky IV’s rendition of the Soviet National Anthem is the better one. It came off more noble and patriotic.
I still can’t figure out why the Captain of the Russian sub is Scottish
At least write something into his backstory? Although if I was the screenwriter I would totally push for the director to do that, either I get the Russian accent or I get to see a Mortal Kombat move in real life. Win win!
When Sean Connery walk up to the dock and asks to command your prototype nuclear submarine, who is the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics to say “нет.”
Actually, they did kind of explain that he is Lithuanian by birth, so that’s could be why his accent is off. Also, their creative version of having them go from speaking Russian to English could handwave the accent.
I’ve spent quite a lot of time in Vilnius. They have the best fried bread of anywhere, but they do not sound even slightly Scottish. He would have to be a defector, or it would have to be an alternate universe where Scots invaded the Baltic states at some point.
Point of Divergence: Near the end of WWII, the bulk of the Soviet Army is in Germany. FDR and Churchill, sensing weakness, ask some Scottsmen in kilts and bagpipes to go to Russia to weaken the USSR so they won’t be in a position to bully USA and UK when the war ends. The plan goes horribly right when the Scottish actually overthrows the Communists and takes over as the USSR, the Union of Soviet Scottish Republics.
I would read this series of novels.
“Tartan Dawn” by Redshirt
All I know of Vilnius is it’s the birthplace of God. Okay, it’s Heifetz, so same thing.
Bad ass!
Don’t work at an Amazon warehouse. Based on what I’ve heard, it makes the 19th century steel mills look like a library.
Save it for Plan Z. At least whore yourself out first before you feed the coyotes.
Having started New England’s defense in fantasy, I am quite satisfied with this result.
Having played against NE D in a money league, I am not a Rosen fan.
“Oh, yeah, that’s why I hate him too. Cause I played against Ned in a monkey league, that’s what it was, right?” – Laura Ingraham
If I was a sexually active whale, I would have so much sex near sonar
I’m having fun counting all the Chekov’s Guns and Chekov’s Gunmen (damn you, TV Tropes).
I find that offensive as a sexually active whale.
j/k not very active
“Did somebody say ‘sexually active whale’?”
Whoo I’m worn out after that exciting presentation of the National Football League. Good night all.
Since we’re NFL OldManRanting, the Steelers need to go back to their standard number-style they used during the Steel Curtain Era. Their current italicized ones makes them look like a bunch of posers!
The falcons coach is lucky I don’t know his fucking name or otherwise he’d be coming home to his children’s blood smeared all over his house
He’s live in Atlanta. There’s still a chance that may happen. You may get lucky.
Come on, Patriots. You’re only three touchdowns for a 46-0 Scorigami!
They’re performance art at this point. They lost by 25 points. Which can also be expressed mathematically as 28-3.
Franks Red Hot Ception!
HAHAHA!
Is anyone else hearing an deep echo in the audio?
Yes, but only because I switched to The Hunt for Red October
I switched to that too. That’s one of those movies I automatically turn on.
Same. I’ve seen it countless times (and own it) but will always stop and watch when it’s on/
Josh Rosen everybody!
The Aristocrats of QB
When Josh Rosen is the better alterative…
I stand by my comment.
19-2 scorigami is still in play!
TNF! Catch the fever!
Not to fear! 26-2 is also scorigami!
Again, no worries! 25-2 is also scorigami!
If the Pat’s would just change coaches I could be convinced to like them.
Turns out I don’t hate Belicheat as much as I thought, I’m actually okay with the Pats doing well because
a) If DarthHoodie sets a high standard for what a coach can make of a team, it means we can legit blame other coaches for sucking and they can’t just use the excuse that coaches can only do so much
b) The whole narrative last year where it was all “Lookit Brady doin’ it without Belichick” annoyed the fuck out of me, and if, Glod Forbid, we end up with a narrative Bowl where it’s B v. B in the big game, I think I’m on the side of The Guy That Fucked Everyone’s Mom
I can use his dominance to explain why the Raiders have sucked for the last twenty years – they knew it was pointless, so they didn’t bother to try. That’s just good footballin’.
It sounded like the game was over, but it’s just figuratively over, not literally over
Please, Falco D. Get offa the field here.
Poop
“Okay.”
give up touchdown
They tried adding an extra man, whadda you want?
Yeah, I think its time for Matt Ryan to call it a career.
Right now with 5 minutes left in 4th qtr.
Lolfalcons
Yes Gronk, but we don’t use the term ‘special’ anymore, we say ‘learning disabled’
Wine has arrived! Can I have some of this Pinot on top of what I’ve already drank and not be 100% miserable during my morning workout tomorrow? I will be working out at 7:30 instead of 6:30 like normal….
99% is less than 100%, so yes!
You’re gonna be miserable during your workout either way, so…
Recently I’ve just been miserable, although exercise does help, but still a valid point
It’s just a shitty time of year unless you’re in the southern hemisphere.
California winter is actually pretty kickass. It’s other people and the institutions they’ve created that’s bringing me down.
Insurmountable lead is insurmountabler.
I was indifferent to the Falcons before tonight but I actively hate them now.
Cookies with rum flavoured icing should pair well with rum, right?
Specially Processed Army Meat!
It’s their contracts with the military that gave them international exposure, unlike their poor cousin, Scrapple
Eleven more yards out of Zacchaeus. Lets groove, baby:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36oYArpSkms
That was the saddest pass I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen Akili Smith and Scott Mitchell play QB.
ICECEPTION!
Holy shit Matt Ryan must fucking hate his mother!
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQchRi_aMv3UdBoQoKSsjYGb8aXWGf9Phbn7w&usqp=CAU
If Zacchaeus hits for 16 more yards & NE (-6.5) covers, I’m pissing it all away on a 3 leg parlay Sunday 1:00.
Falcons looking to avenge the superbowl with getting a field goal here
Or not.
So regarding that Meta commercial… what?
Exactly.
Better off Branded the Lawnmower Man II
Did Buck get a beard implant too? Thankfully, we usually only have to listen to him. It could always be worse…
I’m listening to Westwood One radio call instead of Joe and Troy. It’s so much more enjoyable but I am probably 2 minutes delayed.
ENJOY YOUR NUT, BLIND FALCON SQUIRRELS
I swear to God falcons if you don’t score this drive I’m cutting Matt Ryan’s mom’s throat
Matt Ryan must really hate his mother.
I hate her too for her worthless son
Falcons did a good?!
MACEPTION!
How do the Falcons even have 4 wins? I’d take the 0-8-1 Lions over this team.
I was just thinking that too. Like huh?
They’ve beat the Giants, Jets, Dolphins, and Saints
Lions arent playing the NFC or AFC east, cough dolphins
You say that, but they’s about to cross midfield!!
I’m wondering how their only losing by 13 points. Maybe Darth Hoodie is using his Preseason Playbook so he doesn’t give any plays away to future opponents.
?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=287fe4167fd853848ab4edea06884d71e2933b10
She won’t. Perverts have objectified her body too much that she’s now ashamed to show it off.
I’m thinking of forming a posse and hunting them all down. We won’t need weapons; they’ve been in their parents’ basements for so long, they burn to ash like vampires as soon as their skin touches natural sunlight. Hell, even moonlight may work.
I wanna help, but only because I’m a weirdo with that kind of time on my hands
Well, call me a furry and count me in!
What the… I just scrolled down to reply to comments. How are the Falcons punting this quickly?
I am convinced some of these punts must be on 2nd down.
I think they’re just being efficient and punting on the first down
Holy shit…..
How dare they compare the Dirty Bird to Billy “White Shoes” Johnson and Deion Sanders!
I’m bored, so here’s some memes
This the Urban Meyer
handjobhandbook?Well someone was talking about Bradshaw’s taint below.
Evertyime I looks up at teh teevee box, a quartered back is sullenly trudging towards the bench.
Yeah but Macaroon will hit 2 bills. Fuck.