Your “Well, That Was Fun” Thursday Open Thread

Phil Kessel telling hero Jeff Zatkoff where he’d like to go for ice cream after the game.

I’m not going to lie – last night’s sports action was quite delightful. All three hockey games gave us great tension, whether it was Tampa holding on to beat Detroit, Pittsburgh starting a third-string goalie and watching how he held up, or Chicago throwing everything at St. Louis for almost four periods but coming up empty. That’s what makes the first round of the Stanley Cup so much fun. The basketball season ended with two memorable moments – the Warriors getting #73, and Kobe getting his sendoff – and the fact that Minnesota dropped 144 on New Orleans. It sure was nice of Houston to win their game, so the Jazz had nothing to shoot for but being a part of history. People don’t even take 50 shots in All-Star games!

Tonight has just hockey – NBA playoffs start Saturday – but also the thrill of the NFL 2016 schedule reveal. It also marks two weeks until the draft, just about enough time for most prognosticators & Commentists to rework their boards. (More on that soon.)

At least the Rams changed the tone for the next two weeks of draft debate. This one move has already brought today:

  • “Who will they pick?” questions
  • “How does this screw with the Browns’ plans?” questions
  • “Will the Rams get burned like the [Redacted]s did?” questions
  • “How does this affect the rest of the NFC West?” questions
  • “How does this screw the Browns?” questions (to be fair, a perennial draft question)
  • “How can Jeff Fisher turn all this talent into an 8-8 team?” questions
  • “Has Mike Mayock had a stroke?” questions

Really, they are all important topics, and the slightly changed narrative should make counting down to “Chi-Town is once again Draft Town!” a little more tolerable.

I don’t buy the story that the Rams held off on the announcement until this morning, to avoid ruining Kobe’s big day. (FYI: that was actually in 2004, when the charges were dropped and a cheque made the civil suit go away.) Seems a little like ingratiating yourself to the neighbours. All it would have probably merited was a scroll on the ticker, and maybe the 5th or 6th story on Sports Center. It was a big deal today, and that’s what they wanted.

FYI, the Rams (according to Wikipedia), have had four first-overall draft picks since 1960: Billy Cannon (1960); Terry Baker (1963); Orlando Pace (1997); Sam Bradford (2010). Meanwhile, Kurt Warner was originally the backup to Trent Green. (Yay false equivalencies!)

On the other end of the spectrum, Drew Rosenhaus dropped Johnny Manziel as a client, just three weeks after signing on to that mess. An Argos jersey might look pretty sweet to JFF come mid-June.

Tonight’s entertainment!

Like I said, not a lot:

NHL:

  • Flyers @ Capitals – 7:00
  • Islanders @ Panthers – 8:00
  • Wild @ Stars – 9:30
  • Sharks @ Kings – 10:30

FX: Archer – 10:00

NFL: 2016 Schedule release – 8:00

I know what most of you will be watching during that Wild-Stars game. I WON’T BLAME YOU!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Wakezilla

This year’s Ducks team reminds me of the Mighty Ducks from the movies.

Bruce Boudreau is just like Coach Bombay in that he’s really shitty and the team wins in-spite of him.

Getzlaf is Conway: He may not score a lot, but he’s the team’s undisputed leader. Also, he gets the girl in the end. Paige Getzlaf is fine as hell.

Corey Perry is Jessie Hall: He’s a mouthy bastard who can put the puck in the net.

Ryan Kesler is Averman: A mouthy bastard who is good at back checking. And if Fulton was a grown ass adult, I’d be willing to bet he cheats on his wife like Kes did all the time in Vancouver, “allegedly” *cough* hedidn’texactlyhideit *cough*

Ricard Rakell is Banks: A guy who can put the put in the net but is a little soft.

Kevin Bieksa is Fulton: A guy who is nasty and has a pretty solid shot.

Jacob Silverberg is Kenny Wu: He’s got pretty decent hands, but is a little soft infront of the net. Either way, like Kenny Wu, Silverberg is instrumental to the success of the Mighty Ducks.

John Gibson is Julie the Cat: Started off as the backup, despite being clearly better than Goldberg (Fredrick Anderson), only to become the starter when Anderson got hurt and the players threatened to mutiny when Boudreau wanted to forfeit the games because he’s the worst coach ever.

Unsurprised

Great hustle! Hit the showers and come back tomorrow ready to give another ?
http://i1282.photobucket.com/albums/a540/rhill87/2zhflfx_zpsc40976fc.gif

Wakezilla

Great Caesar’s Ghost!

Unsurprised

I can’t believe I fell down the well deeply enough to collect all these in like 45 minutes. This Israeli girl is hot, though.
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/04wg620r7a0a08l8wvcdsyxl3pcj1731

Unsurprised

She’s on thechive and shit like that, so I assume she is.

Unsurprised

She’s also going to be 30 in two weeks, so unless those photos were taken in W’s first term, I think we’re good.

Unsurprised

Her face grew into the body.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

I don’t mind you shooting at me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi!
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

With a font color and arrangement that doesn’t suck.
http://115.imagebam.com/download/0wMM7_MRFUYJ8GsAc-_UyQ/47802/478010456/harddick.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stephen Curry…the early years….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn bunny wabbit, have some self respect, at least.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2sc7cRa5g1r9ic49.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Yeah, bitch.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Paste fail

WCS

WOMP WOMP

theeWeeBabySeamus

Imgur?

Unsurprised

No, but I assume the period in the URL before the .gif suffix is the problem.

Covalent Blonde

I will take my cue from Moose’s Tor Johnson and toddle off to bed with tiny Stanley Cup dreams. Good night, gentlemen.

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I wanna shoot you so bad, my dick is hard.
(I’m very disappoint in whomever posted this image without the text)
http://www.stfimages.in/loader/pictures/9e9633ba9302c2c0885931031a87ee82.png

Beastmode Ate My Baby

We need some New Jack cops for this New Jack crime.

WCS

http://pop.h-cdn.co/assets/16/07/1455630691-crab-gif.gif

BACK OFF, MUTHAFUCKA. I’LL KEEL YOU. I’LL KEEL ALL O’ YOU.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When good crabs go bad.
It’s the schools’ fault.
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Unsurprised

Such an awesome shot.
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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

I asked for a pat down the last time I flew specifically to say this to the TSA agent as his eyes were level with my balls because Fuck Him.

Unsurprised

Patrice O’Neal put it best: As long as you don’t joke about bombs or hijacking, you can say the meanest, coldest things in the world and they have to take it. It’s the little things that make life worth living.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Covalent Blonde

So… uh… Sharks win?

WCS

All part of the script to blow another 3-0 series lead.

Covalent Blonde

Shut your whore mouth

Covalent Blonde

It is all part of a clever ruse. We may just win this series you know?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

I don’t think anyone posted the video even though the song was referenced in the previous page of comments.
https://youtu.be/pk-W_i7Z59I

WCS
WCS

Meanwhile, in Osaka…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Redneck heavun mutherhumpers!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

I saw a hipster couple trying to wrangle their corgi into the back of their Subaru (Welcome to Portland!) and it took everything in my power not to stop and video it. And now I realize that if I had, I’d be Internet Famous, but at the expense of being a rude jerkoff like every other piece of shit “human” online.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Senor Weaselo

I have no idea why tonight is Godfather gif night, but I immensely approve.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me neither, but I take the blame. I just went with a tangent for some reason. I guess I’m in an organized crime mood. Goodfellas, Carlito’s Way and others have also been represented.
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Senor Weaselo

Is that 4 and 1 or 3 and 2?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Senor Weaselo

Did they call the potato “nature’s potato” in that ad?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Glad you got the Scar Face reference.

Senor Weaselo

I still would like to know which idiot thought 8,000 different permutations for the Dirt Cardinals unis was a good idea. Especially because all of them suck in some way or another.