Six Days Dry as the Sahara – Lesser Footy Open Thread

No, for the love of Christ, I am not off the pills.  WHY THE MONKEYFUCK WOULD ANYONE DO THAT??  But man, FITBAW heroine withdrawal is bad enough.  Thank fuck for Frank Lampard, amirite??

If you wake up for Hammers/Barcodes, and you aren’t Fronk, you get what you deserve – it’s behind the paywall (7:30, Peacock).  It seems House of Saud FC won’t be going down after all, as the “sack race” looks pretty damned drama-free.  That is, it’s hard to see any way out for Burnley, Norwich, or Watford.  Hey, at least we’ll be done with Burnley/Team White Lives Matter, at least for a year.  Not sure they will yo-yo right back, neither.  That’s MOAR of a Fulham/Norich specialty.

You can watch a decent enough Chelski/Palace tilt (10:00, USA) for free, though.  Streaming in that very full window will include Everton away to shit-hot Saints.  I am hopeful we won’t implode on the South Caost as we did on our last trip to the Northeast – but I really don’t have anything to back that up.  Just my everlasting love and trust for Frank Lampard.  I love this song (especially this version) and this soundtrack:

All three regulation terlet-swirlers are also streaming on Peacock, if you really want to punish yourself.

Spotlight Dance is pretty solid, Spurs hosting City (12:30, NBC).  Did you see how the club asked them to stop using/re-claiming the “Yid Army” moniker and chants?  Yeah, that’s going over as everyone expected.  Lots of drama on the touchline, Conte playing power politics with Daniel Levy (who, as always, be all liek Right, wrong?  Motherfucker I’m the one with the GUN).  He’ll likely be looking for a new gig come summertime.

Roses Derby IS worth waking up for tomorrow (9:00, USA), and Wolves/Foxes (11:30, USA) should also be worth your time.