Become Better Acquainted With A Potential NFL Player*

*A totally original DFO production and not just a rip-off of a feature we all enjoyed from that other site we all met at.

Good morning!  Or afternoon depending on when this thing posts.  As you know, because you undoubtedly filled out Blax’s draft contest sheet (if not, you can still enter here [PHRASING, BOOM!]) and are eagerly anticipating getting a final score on that roughly equivalent to Jamarcus Russell’s Wonderlic score, the NFL draft is this coming Thursday.  And Friday.  And Saturday.  Followed by Sunday Second Guessing.  In preparation for the draft DFO presents this opportunity for you to, if you will, “get to better know a draft pick”, which is something I totally came up with on my own and didn’t rip off from KSK word for word because it still hurts dammit, IT STILL HURTS!!!!

-ahem-

Today we meet Myles Jack!  Let’s get to know him shall we?

Physical Attributes:  6’1″ and 245 lbs. He also has 101/4″ hands.  He’s also got bigger hands than Tunsil!  (awaits Tunsil’s Green Room slide while Berman makes bad puns involving ‘Hands Across America’)  Jack (allegedly) ran the 40 in 4.56 seconds and benched 225 19 times.

College Experience:  Pac-12 Rookie of the Year in 2013, which is impressive until you think about how bad the Pac-12 is.  2nd team All-Pac 12 his freshman and sophomore seasons.  A guy ranked this high should probably make 1st team but he played offense and defense both years.  Injured his knee 3 games into his junior season and promptly dropped out of school.

Does He Tweet?: @MylesJack.  Seems to really be looking forward to the draft but also really needs a new phone ASAP.

Strengths:  Ultra athletic with “upper echelon explosiveness.”  Former running back with the speed to get to the ball from any part of the field.  Not afraid of contact and hits hard enough to jar offensive linemen.  In addition to running back he also played safety at UCLA so he’s a versatile sort.  Can probably play 3/5 of the positions on defense, so you know Jerry Richardson wants him.

His knee might be fine, (it’s not), and all the rumors of it being a time-bomb ready to explode all over the field like Peter North all over a runaway teen with a history of poor decisions could be filthy lies spread in the hopes of making his draft stock plunge.  Sure that sounds evil but if NFL-types really are spreading lies about a young man’s health in a way that could financially devastate him it’s probably the 6th most evil thing they’ll do this week.

Weaknesses:  May have only one knee.  Usually the NFL prefers to turn healthy young men into arthritic cripples, as opposed to having players show up halfway there already.  Jack didn’t run the 40 during his Pro Day, (I have no idea where the internet came with the 4.56 noted above), and after that teams started looking into his medical records.  Apparently his original surgery went well but now the cartilage and bone are beginning to separate.  Good thing he got that college degr…oh.  Oh dear.

Jack also took some criticism for leaving UCLA after the initial injury ended his season.  I’d give him points for honesty; there’s probably 40 D-I football players who remotely care about their education and Jack’s clearly not one of them so why waste everyone’s time?

Crazy eyes.  See featured image about.  That man ain’t right.  Although he’s a linebacker so that might actually be a strength.

Nicest Comparison:  Everyone over at CBS compared him to Navorro Bowman.

Meanest Comparison: Yeah Right.

Does He Pass The Blake Bortles Test?:  No.  If you enter “myles jack girlfriend” into a search engine you get a bunch of picture of Myles Jack.  Is narcissism a strength or weakness in the NFL?

Where’s He Going?:  As with Elliott there seem to be a variety of opinions about where Jack gets drafted.  The majority seem to think the Jaguars will take him at 5 but some people think that the Jags may be lying.  If the Jags don’t take him the next best pick seems to be the Browns at either 8 or 13, which begs the question of hasn’t Jack suffered enough?  Finally some think he’ll go to the 49ers, but that seems unlikely since they already saw Bowman’s knee explode and probably aren;t in a hurry to see that happen again.  My guess is that the Jaguars aren’t lying and take him at 5.

Sorry Myles.