I will not invite you to touch my monkey, though. Here are your late fixtures:
12MW Richmond (+3.5) v. 4MW Providence (6:10, TNT)
Friar Tuck and his merry band just can’t get no RESPEK, I says. Richmond’s coach looks eerily like “Buddy” in Swimming With Sharks. I love that movie, probably because I am a borderline sociopath.
5E St. Mary’s (+3) v. 4E UCLA (7:10, TBS)
Most interesting matchup of the day, in Hippo’s view. Other Hippo is keeping his powder dry, though. Being on the beak would explain soooooo very much about his behavioUr.
15E St. Peter’s (+8.5) v. 7E Murray State (7:40, CBS)
Both Kenfuckian squadrons went to Extra Time in Round One, with only Murray surviving. Just as the Gypsy woman foretold. Is this the year the Racers finally make an Appalachian Gonzaga run? Or will the inevitable letdown banana skin them before it can truly start?
12W New Mexico State (+6.5) v. 4W Arkansas (8:40, TNT)
Outside of Tennessee, the SEC has looked pretty damned shaky. But Pig Sooey are well-coached, and I struggle to see how the Aggies keep up over 40 minutes.
9W Memphis (+9.5) v. 1W Gonzaga (9:40, TBS)
Penny’s crew are wildly inconsistent – but they have the talent, depth, and length (PHRASING) to give the Zags trouble – if they play their A game. Pretty big “if” – but might be worth a GAMBLOR punt.
Oh, so I kinda forgot about it, but I’ll be in NYC tomorrow and Monday. Might hit up Angel’s Share before it closes
Does Gonzaga have some sort of cloning machine that continuously cranks tall, unlikable white guys?
That’s a good banner.
[pets Rex]
Is there anything in Arkansas other than pig farms? I assume the entire state is just one big field of pigshit.
You would assume correctly. Fuck that state.
I have a wonderful story about it.
There are some mountainy spots that are like West Virginia. Very pretty, but get out of there before sundown!
C’MON HEISENBERG STATE
I’m not certain they can win.
Never change Gonzaga
Burrito ingredients:
tortilla
guacamole
sour cream
salsa
pork
rice
black beans
cheese
cilantro
lettuce
It’s too many ingredients. Only one of the three was assembled correctly.
Me right now (artist’s conception):
When the burrito explodes on your and drips all over the plate, just bust out the knife and fork and call it an enchilada….
@Balls you wanna address this or should I?
I’ll defer to you
Never mind, I guess some savages think it’s okay to use flour tortillas.
/cums without knowing why
In my humble fat guy opinion, no need for rice.
Burrito ingredients:
Flour tortilla
Meat
Cheese
Salsa
The St. Penis UrinePenises just might make the Suite 16.
Fun fact: “Suite 16” was Matt Gaetz’s response when the hotel operator asked him what type of room he’d like, and what the age of his guests would be.
DO IT DO IT NOW
THIS SCOTTISH CURLING TEAM, I CALL IT MY SEX LIFE, BECAUSE THEY’RE PLAYING WITH ONE FEWER WOMAN THAN NORMAL.
C’mon chaos…
It’s cool to see Penny Hardaway having success coaching college. I don’t know what the answer is in the NFL structure that is so deeply corrupted and nepotistic but, for basketball, the answer to calls for more black coaches is more former players who are black. Give me a few years of ex-players beating blue blood coaches and watch the ranks of idiot AD’s poaching PGs from the NBAPA union hall.
Fuck yeah.
Murray (St.)?
Fuck yes Bruins!
They were shaky as shit against Akron but their defense today was dominant.
Ground their bones to make the bread.
Great win.
Yeah. That was definitely a sad effort vs ZIPS. UsC was such a joke though — I never really worried that little white coach wouldn’t have them ready.
Going to have some pierogies tonight in solidarity with Ukraine. Am I a hero? You might well say so; I couldn’t possibly comment.
If you run out of pierogies, you can order more that monetarily support Ukraine!
https://www.goldbelly.com/support-ukraine
My hometown had a substantial Ukranian-Canadian population. My mother, who cooked pretty much everything we ate, wouldn’t even bother attempting to make pierogies, because you could buy great ones from local Ukranian church sales. You knew you were in a Ukranian home when they referred to them as “petahe.”
These days I make my own; I have about a dozen left in the freezer from my last batch.
I should add — I’m not a slouch in the kitchen, but my pierogies cannot compete with the Ukranian grandmothers of my youth!
I’ve got my grandmother’s recipe but there’s no way mine are as good as hers were
I was waiting for that…
I would help my grandmother make them when I was a kid, but haven’t attempted them as an adult. I wasn’t actually that good at the part I helped with as a kid, and they’re a lot of work!
Yeah, I only attempt it once or twice a year, and then make as big a batch as I can manage because there’s economies of scale. Give away a bunch and freeze the rest.
I can never get the dough just right. Mine won’t roll out thin enough, so I get fairly thick, large ones. But some women like that.
I made them once. They were gross and overly doughy, my kitchen looked like an explosion at the King Arthur factory, and I was still finding random flour deposits months later. Fuck that, too much work.
I want UCLA to win but I don’t know if I have ever seen someone carry the ball on his dribbles more blatantly than Tyger Campbell.
I’m pretty sure I went to the prom with number 14 from St Mary’s. He’s aged well.
The St. Mary’s cheerleaders have nothing to be ashamed of, but getting on the court against UCLA is like me getting on the court against LeBron James.
The Bruins cheerleaders were the true MVPs of that game.
I may have gotten carried away with my latest cocktail experiment:
Forest Fire
1 oz St. George Terroir Gin
1/2 oz mezcal
1/2 oz sweet vermouth steeped in lapsang souchon tea
1/4 oz rosemary simple syrup
1/4 oz Genepy (or chartreuse)
dash Peychaud’s
Stir above with ice. Light a sprig of rosemary on fire, put it on a plate, and cover with an old fashioned glass until it fills with smoke. Strain the cocktail into the glass. Add a float or spray of Ardbeg scotch.
Well I know what gin is but…
Ah, that reminds me of a great song by Foreigner, “I want to know what gin is.” It’s possible I’m misremember the words.
The hoopsball grew tiresome last night, when my team lost.
Lies I Tell Myself, Vol. XVII: “I’m only going to pick up one or two things at the liquor store.”
Two shopping carts full still count as two “things.”
I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Kinda like going to Costco.
/always leaves with a full cart
Did you get some allspice dram?
Still have 3/4 of a bottle left!
Really just needed some cognac and absinthe. Picked up an extra bottle of mezcal, since I’m using a lot of it lately, some St. Germain because I’m running low, and some ancho chile liqueur because I thought I was running low (but wasn’t).
Try the Coton de Tulear recipe I posted a few nights ago. It’s awesome.
I saw that, but I think I missing at least one ingredient
I swear to God there are commercials every five minutes in this Michigan game.
I swear to God there are commercials every five minutes in this
Michigan gameNCAA Tournament.FIFY
HIPPO AND GHOST OF tWBS (RIP) REACT REASONABLY
https://www.espn.com/recruiting/basketball/story/_/id/33546774/robert-dillingham-no-1-shooting-guard-2023-class-decommits-nc-state
COMING SOON TO A DFO NEAR YOU
“After careful consideration” is my favorite thing to hear from people’s whose brains aren’t yet developed enough to carefully consider anything.
“After careful consideration, I realized that all of my other choices got embarrassed in the tournament, rendering them desperate and willing to cough up more money to land me.”
There’s something to learn in college.
Posted this in the other thread because I hadn’t realized we’d moved over:
There is a beer-themed spa in Chicago. Definitely hitting this place next time I’m in town.
https://www.pivabeerspa.com/
There’s a “don’t drink the tub beer” joke there that I’m not creative enough to think of, like, ever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je1NIf8GeeY
“How’s the head on the latest shipping container of Tsingtao girl slaves….err, kegs?”
– Robert Kraft, celebrated Boston leader
AFL games tonight!
WOOOOOOOOO