Sunday Gravy with yeah right: Grilling 101 and an Assignment

As long winded and detailed as the Sunday Gravy posts are I wanted to let you know that I thoroughly enjoy putting them together for you. If it hasn’t come across by now, I really love cooking. So much so that in rare cases it’s at a detriment for me to do so. I’ve been upfront and open about my current knee issues – new post to come sometime next week – but I refused to take a week off from Sunday Gravy. I fucking refuse to short you fine people from my confused and vulgar ramblings! But I did try and make it as easy as possible on myself.

With an assist from my brother Dj Taj who did the sides all I had to do this week was fire up the grill, make a quick brine and a rub, grab a beer and prop my damn feet up. I am quite qualified to do all of these things. Yes I was icing the knee at the time.

Let’s talk about grilling.

If you’ve been a Sunday Gravy reader for any length of time then you know how much I love to grill. I ain’t gonna link to every grilling post because that might cause a server meltdown and I don’t want to trouble DTZM over the weekend. I will link to this one because it contains a recipe for what we will be cooking today, Cumin Rubbed Pork Chops! I don’t feel bad about doubling down on the recipe since when I created that post I didn’t actually cook this recipe, it was thrown into a recipekakke of multiple pork chop ideas. It is the primary focus today. Told you I was going to be a lazy bastard today!

Let me overwhelm you with a fact, I’ve been grilling for over 40 years. Yes 40. And I’m not talking about flipping a burger or cooking some dogs, I’m talking about starting the fire, prepping the food items, manning the grill and bringing it to the table. My parents both loved to grill so it was only natural that I came down with this obsession. I’m certain most of you know the difference between grilling and barbecuing so I won’t be getting into that. We’re just talking about grilling today. As you can see by the photo just above I have a balcony to grill on and it would be pretty goddamn rude of me to have a smoker going for 16 hours with huge plumes of hickory smoke roiling out when I share a building with my neighbors. I actually like most of my neighbors! Most of them.

When I first grew interested in grilling I had just started high school. My first cooking experience was around my 12th birthday and what I wanted for a present on my birthday was to be allowed to make dinner for the whole family. All 6 of us. See? I’ve been fucking demented for a long time. I still remember what I made, braised beef and mashed potatoes, please note that I cooked this in the kitchen and not on a grill. I did a pretty good job on it too. You want to know what really hooked me to this current obsession? The feedback from my family. I truly am a shameless cooking whore looking for praise. I won’t lie to you about that. That first meal everyone in the family was saying how great dinner was and I fucking lapped that praise up. If I were to see a psychiatrist they would probably say it was since I was the youngest member of the family and the praise usually ran out on the older brothers before it trickled down to me. Still, it was awesome. Additionally when my parents grilled steaks, the kids got burgers or dogs dammit. I volunteered to grill so I could have a steak too. I felt this was a fair exchange.

Grilling is a very primal experience what with the fire, the meat and the smoke. It’s actually kind of rare to allow someone else to use your grill and for this dish? Hell no I’m not letting anyone else take the grilling credit. My fire! My meat! GRRRRR!!!

My parents didn’t have as many qualms about relinquishing the grill duties and I was carefully taught by my dad the finer points of the grilling process, mainly stay close, pay attention and keep track of time. He also taught me the touch technique, this is where you can test for doneness of the meat without puncturing it with a meat thermometer or cutting into it on the grill. Pops taught me the touching of the hand technique.

This is achieved by touching the base of your thumb with various movement of the fingers. Hold your open palm out and touch the base of the thumb, this is the touch equivalent of raw meat, make the “OK” sign with the index finger and touch the base of the thumb for what should feel like medium rare, put your middle finger to your thumb (all the while resisting the urge to give somebody the bird) touch the base of the thumb and you have the touch equivalent of medium. Do the same thing with you ring finger and thumb, touch the base of the thumb and you have the touch equivalent of medium well and the same trick with the pinky for well done.

Pretty cool, huh?

These steaks are on their way to medium rare. The sear is apparent but due to the thickness of the steaks they will need to cook a couple of minutes longer. A lid over the steaks will help cook these in the middle.

You can also use the face touch technique where you touch the meat first then touch your cheek bone for a medium rare feel, touch your chin for a medium feel and finally touch your forehead for a feel similar to well done. Eventually you will get the hang of it just by touching the grilling meat. I can also tell by the time cooked, the flame level and the little bubbles of juice on the top of the grilling meat. Don’t worry about touching your food, just flip the meat over for a few seconds afterwards and you will grill off the “bad touch.”  Besides nobody is going to give a shit if you touched the meat. You are the motherfucking grill master!

I am also a charcoal guy. I know lot’s of people enjoy their gas grills and they have a point as far as the ease to start, ease to clean and consistency of flame but I really like the additional flavor that charcoal imparts and today’s recipe has an amazing result when cooked over charcoal. The cumin in the rub and the charcoal flavor is a flavor combination made in grilling heaven.

As far as choosing your grill, this is entirely your decision. Mine is based on space limitations and cost. Some of these goddamn grills run into the thousands of dollars with their temperature controls and side burners and all that shit but fuck that man! I’ve just got a balcony and I don’t need a contraption that’s going to cost the same as a used Hyundai. Hell no! Head over to Amazon and you can get the exact grill that I use for 30 bucks. You can also pick these up at a Home Depot or whatever home improvement store you have nearby. If you want the grill on legs or need a bigger grill surface that’s fine too, the price will adjust accordingly.

And for fuck’s sake try not to use lighter fluid. If you’re new to the game or just want to do something quick, whatever. Even the Matchlight crap smells like Dresden during WWII. It does burn off but I can still taste the gasoline and I prefer my grilling to be a bit more pristine. Down at the bottom of this post you will see my technique for making “fire starters” that I always use. Some people prefer using a chimney and that’s cool too.

I know what you’re thinking: “Goddamn you’re a wordy bastard, just get to the recipe!” Guilty as charged but I felt that we needed to address some cooking fundamentals and besides this recipe is very simple and I had to have something to drone on-and-on about.

Cumin Rubbed Pork Chops!

Get some damn pork chops! How many depends on how many people you are serving. I did 5 chops today and the ratios of the rest of the ingredients will reflect that. I also prefer the bone-in chops instead of the boneless but whatever you prefer. Boneless sirloin chops are always pretty fucking righteous too.

We are using a two day prep involving two techniques, first we will be brining the chops in a simple brine overnight then we will employ a simple rub just prior to grilling.

For the brine:

3 tablespoons of salt

3 cups of water – 2 of these will be cold cups of water

2-3 bay leaves

tablespoon of whole peppercorns

4-5 cloves of smashed garlic.

In a small pot bring one cup of water to a quick boil then add in the salt. In a medium sized bowl, add in the cold water, garlic, bay leaves and pepper corns. Add the salted  water to this bowl and let cool down. We are going to put the pork chops into a very familiar one gallon freezer bag along with the brine. These will be refrigerated overnight. Quick note about the brine, despite the amount of salt in the brine it will not make the meat all that salty. It’s just going to give a depth of flavor to the grilled meat. The brine will also extract some of the blood from the raw meat and will firm the flesh up a bit too. Try the brine with pork and chicken. This will make boneless skinless chicken breasts be as juicy as you always wanted but were rarely able to accomplish.

Next day take the brined chops out of the fridge and let come up to room temperature. Getting the items to be grilled to room temp is a major part of proper cooking and will ensure that the internal meat doesn’t stay uncooked as the external meat cooks.

Cumin Rub:

2 tablespoons ground cumin

1 teaspoon chili powder

1 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon ground black pepper

olive oil

Put all of the spices into a small bowl and add just enough olive oil to make a paste – see picture above. This will be rubbed onto the chops for just a little while. There is enough depth of flavor here that is doesn’t need to marinate or anything, just 20 minutes or so at room temperature will do.

Slap that rub on the pork chops and coat each side.

Important tip! Try not to get any of this rub on your clothes. Between the oil and the dark spices it will leave a mark. Maybe wear a dark shirt too.

Get these damn things on the grill as soon as the grill is ready. The chops I bought for this recipe are fairly thin and they are not going to take very long, just a few minutes per side. If you have thicker cut chops they will take a little longer to cook and may even need the grill cover placed over the top to cook all the way through. There should be grill marks on the chops when they have been cooked. Flip them over and finish the other side. That’s it. Yes you will be wasting some proper perfect coals and if you have something else to throw on the grill now might be the best time.

In the first linked pork chop article there is a bonus recipe for pineapple-serrano salsa that works perfectly with these chops but I’m taking it easy today remember? Confession time! The sides today were a box of Rice-a-roni and a bagged prepackaged salad of mixed greens. The rice-a-roni thing is a throwback to childhood. Don’t judge! Feel free to do your sides of choice. This would make a real quick weeknight dinner and if you want to do these without fucking with the grill, just preheat your oven to 450, saute the chops in a skillet for about 2 minutes per side and put the whole damn skillet into the preheated oven for about 12 minutes. You will miss out on the charcoal/cumin marriage though.

“Wait a minute! Didn’t you say there was an assignment?” You may ask. Actually there is. Sometime over the next few months if you are hosting a party where there will be grilling or if you are attending a similar gathering I want you to try these out. Cook them for your friends and family. If you are going to someone else’s house for the grilling, just carry the brined chops in their brining bag and bring the premade rub in a separate container. Put the rub on the chops about 20 minutes prior to cooking.

In summary this is the perfect recipe for the new grill master yet it produces a highly sophisticated finished product that belies it’s simple ingredient list. Now is the perfect time to work on your grilling skills so when summer rolls around you will be at the top of your grill game and the ladies will be tossing their panties at you unasked.

Something makes you feel more in charge and more primal when you’ve got the fire going, some tongs in one hand (don’t you fucking dare use a fork to turn the meat!) and a beer in the other while the sun shines brightly on the scene.

It’s almost summer folks and this time you will be prepared.

/limps off into the sunset