Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on [in bed]
Robert Frost
I think that the Covids has shown this to be true.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Burglars steal $2 million tabernacle from Catholic church in Brooklyn – ABC News (go.com)
Pastor: “God, how could you let this happen?”
God: “Millions of my children starve every day and you’re worried about a gold picture on the wall?! You’re lucky I didn’t open the door for them!”
Redshirt
Happy Trent Green Day, everybody!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Who’s that?”
— Trent Green, filling his washing machine with grass clippings
WCS
Oh Jaysus, Gumby’s telling me jokes again. Here’s an example:
“I don’t know why they call it blue balls. A better name would be a cummy-ache.”
Gumbygirl
LOL
rockingdog
As most of you know, I like to impersonate airline pilots so that I can get free flights. I don’t really know how to fly a plane (a little bit I guess) but that’s okay I never have to fly. This Sunday I was hitching a ride on a Delta flight when the captain got too drunk to fly. The first officer was passed out, so they asked me to land the plane. Shit! I was drunker than the captain! Well I took the seat and gave it a go. Here’s a view out the window as I tried to line up on the Potomac River for final approach. A stewardess eventually landed the plane, and we all kept the incident quiet:
Brick Meathook
WCS
A couple of years ago, a friend and I went to see the Go-Gos at the Hollywood Bowl. It was a great show, fantastic time.
In the Uber ride on the way back, I said, “you know, there’s another show tomorrow night…” When we got home, I looked up tickets and by some dumb fluke (probably because this was a Bowl show on a holiday weekend, so some LA Phil fans with season passes and no interest in the Go-Gos were looking to sell), we discovered we could get one of the tables in the second row at non-crazy prices.
That was such a good time. One of the best shows I’ve seen.
Dunstan
Found a funny;
no YOUR body is a temple. my body is a dave and buster’s
rockingdog
THESE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS i CALL THEM TSARNAEVS BECAUSE THEY’RE OUT THERE KILLING BOSTON GUYS WITH BOMBS
SonOfSpam
Well this aged as well as the older Trarnaev brother.
SonOfSpam
I’ve 2 heads of cabbage. Any suggestions? Difficulty-no coleslaw or rolls recipes.
scotchnaut
Throw in trash and acquire a steak.
Mr. Ayo
“Whoa, whoa, slow down Mr. Rich Man!”
— Jim T., parts unknown
WCS
So I guess Pizza Hut is the latest target in the War on Wokeness. I guess the redhats will have to find some other horrific grease bomb pizza to shove down their gullets, now.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Come to my new restaurant Suck it Libs, and try our new MAGA cyanide flavored pizza!
BrettFavresColonoscopy
A slight bitter almond aftertaste but nobody ever complained the next day.
yeah right
Christ, the fighters are just now coming to the ring.
Horatio Cornblower
Back from the wedding. Wife nailed the ceremony. I brought my own beer. The weather was perfect. A good time was had by all.
Horatio Cornblower
Perfect comedy.
Mr. Ayo
For any fellow Jeopardy nerds out there who wondered about the whole LeVar Burton thing, you may find this an interesting read:
https://www.theringer.com/tv/2022/6/1/23149944/levar-burton-jeopardy-scripps-national-spelling-bee?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Sounds to me like their former exec. producer, Mike Richards, was indeed a total shady-assed dickhead who richly deserved to get exposed as such and cancelled.
BeefReeferLives
Fun fact that will amuse Maestro:
When performing analingus, you are eating a taco because of the buns and the layout.
Which makes the whole activity as simple as eating a sandwich.
When you do it in the parking lot of a football stadium, That’s a Buffalo-style sandwich!
ballsofsteelandfury
On the way back from the hospital, I stopped at Total Wine and picked up some cherry liquor. About the same proof as Midori. Need to find some recipe to pass out a little early tonight.
TheRevanchist
Cherry Liqueur, lemon juice, soda water, little simple syrup.
litre_cola
Rim the glass with black opium
Don T
Boo Ice Bucs winning.
But yay finally using my back yard pizza oven
Sharkbait
found a funny
Redshirt
Reminder – please keep sending good vibes the way of Revanchist. Even if he’s a Chefs supporter.
King Hippo
Thank you, Hippo. She is going to be in the hospital for a week, they told her. This is okay with me, as she will have the care she needs.
TheRevanchist
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Not the first time a Yinzer quartered back has been “accused” of nefarious behavior.
EDIT: Meant to respond to Hippo
Angels just fired Joe Maddon; I guess having two of the best players ever and losing 12 in a row isn’t great for job security.
I’ve got to say, the Madden curse worked quickly. Can’t go with the already dead guy, so it goes to the next closest Madd(o)n.
I think this is one of those times where someone talked themselves out of their job.
Pro Tip: When you boss drops what they’re doing, snaps their head in your direction, and says in a low, rageful voice “What did you just say/call me?” or some other variation, do not repeat/confirm what you just said.
He can devote MOAR time pursuing his true passion, sniffing his own flatulence.
(favoUrite comment from The Athletic – “How can they fire the best manager in MLB history? Don’t believe it? Ask Joe Maddon.)
“It’s worked for me!”
FIGJAM hall of famer for sure
That’s a fine description of a sandwich to me, Balls.
Atta boy!
Jack del Rio is just asking questions, libtards!
https://thespun.com/more/top-stories/commanders-were-asked-about-jack-del-rios-controversial-tweet
I expect a lot more from a USC guy.
Double murder, for example.
The replies are gold. My favorite so far is:
“Your name is now Jack del Usional”
Honorable Mention: “I think I’m drawing my own conclusion as to how the Broncos defense got so much better after you were fired.”
so aFraiD of cRiTicaL thOt smh
Fuck that guy
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/34051320/justine-lindsay-believed-nfl-1st-openly-transgender-cheerleader-ready-break-door-carolina-panthers-topcats
#WeirdestBoner
“So, do I use sexist slurs or racist slurs when demeaning her?
-J. Richardson
The same people that think some random prince is going to send them a billion dollars, you “just” need to send them money for fees
Also, totally unrelated, I have a bridge for sale.
These are the same people who treated those Cosmo’s quizzes as the word of god, plus they believe in Astrology, in other words gullible dumbassess.
That’s sooooo Sagittarius
Well fuck you too Stacy is a great phrase to drop into everyday conversations.
Be warned, GTD and other Commentists of Canadia – Hippo and HippoSpawn (the Wolven Sort legacy) are working on getting our passports so as to help Oldest HippoSpawn move to London, Ontario.
There might be time for a socially awkward meetup. No butt stuff, tho.
Have passport, will travel.
Hope my shoulders are good enough for you.
He’ll be wearing a red carnation. It will be awkward attaching it to the dingy wife beater… but be looking for it…