Okay, When Do We Get to the Prometheus Bit? (Jets at the Bye)

The New York Jets are a cromulent football team. That enough is a shock.

The New York Jets are a competent football team. Bigger shock.

The New York Jets are currently in a playoff position and enter this game a half-game behind Miami for the AFC East lead. All right, hold up… Miami leads the division? Also, the rest of that sentence.

But yeah, the Jets don’t suck as much as usual this year, in thanks back to the old “It almost worked in the 2010s strategy”: Shutdown corners, solid defense, and running the football (and never mind the quarterback).

Shutdown corners
The combination of Gardner and Reed might be the best 1-2 corners in the league. Remember the duo of Revis and Cromartie? Yeah, that’s the air we’re getting to. DJ Reed hasn’t allowed a touchdown in man coverage in quite some time, and Sauce Gardner is the front-runner for DROY, where “Lost in the Sauce” is the new “Stranded on Revis Island.”

Solid defense
Thanks in part to the first point, the Jets, ranked last in defense last year, have an top-10 defense this year. They’re 7th in yards allowed, 10th in PPG allowed, 9th in passing yards per game, 11th in rushing, and are on the plus side in turnovers (even if it’s just +1).

Running the football
Okay, so in yards they’re a middling 18th. This was more an early part of the season thing, as losing rookie Breece Hall to an ACL tear hurt that. “Breece Lightning” was an early-season contender for OROY (non-QB division) until that Week 7 injury. Also in that game, losing utility OL Alijah Vera-Tucker. AVT had played three different positions on the O-line, filling in for various injuries and being solid on all three. As opposed to Mekhi Becton, who got hurt early on, out for the year, and… will the Jets ever actually see him on the field?

(Never mind the quarterback)
Zach Wilson has been… meh. 57.5% accuracy, but more notably, because it’s a run-first team, more INT than TDs, though all five picks were in two games (2 against PIT, in a game that the Jets actually won; 3 against NE, didn’t win that one). Ice Milk Joe, who played 3 games compared to Wilson’s 6, leads the team in passing TDs still, 5-4. Buuut, the Jets went 1-2 with Flacco at the helm, while they’ve gone 5-1 with Wilson.

So, what next?
Well, so far, the Jets have been this year’s “Lucky Coin” team, as the glorious coin is 9-for-9 at picking whether the Jets will win or not. (The coin has them going 11-6 before losing in the AFC Championship Game). The Almighty Coin has them losing to New England today. In Foxboro. (It has them sweeping Buffalo and losing Week 17 against Miami, in a game I imagine the coin says is for the division.) The Jets haven’t beaten the P*ts since Week 16. Of 2015. In a game commonly known as Cointossgate, because goddammit, everything is Watergate now. (The Jets then proceeded to lose their final game of the season to the Rex Ryan-led Bills, miss the playoffs, and not play a meaningful game past the month of October until this year.)

If you believe in coin, all will be fine. If you don’t, the remainder is: @NE, vs. CHI, @MIN, @BUF, vs. DET, vs. JAX, @SEA, and @MIA. That’s road games all against playoff contenders. Even if you take the three home games, which have to be gimmes though the Bears game is definitely a bit dicey, the Jets need two wins over the P*ts, Vikings, Bills, Seahawks, and Dolphins to get to 11-6 and definitely get in the playoffs, a year ahead of schedule. Zach Wilson needs to do the right thing and throw it away and not try to do some sort of MILF Sex Cannon impersonation.

Final thoughts? 10-7, lose to Miami last day of the season in a game that could win them the division, miss out on the playoffs. Then rocks fall and everyone dies. It’s the Jet way.

Also, even if the white over black has worked this year as a sort of good luck charm… fuck the black-out unis and helmet.