Author: Horatio Cornblower

Monday Morning Mock Draft: On Second Thought

Horatio Cornblower -
107

Guten Tag drones. Last week, in an effort to soothe your football-loving souls, we drafted linebackers.  At the conclusion of said draft our own jet flyin' malort sippin' world travelin' volcano lair havin' Dok Zymm asked if we could draft secondary players this week so she could take Sean Taylor. And so

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Draw The Line

Horatio Cornblower -
216

Guten Tag Drones. I barely remembered the draft this weekend, but here we are at 11:05 pm Sunday night throwing words on a computer to avoid doing any work on Monday.  Gotta love this timeline. I've been noticing a lot of folk around here starting to get pretty excited about the return

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Making Singles, Drinking Doubles

Horatio Cornblower -
142

Guten Tag, drones. I stole the title of today's draft from a compilation from Bloodshot Records which, if you like Americana, Rock and/or Roll, or whatever we're calling Roots/Country/Blues/Rock these days, is worth a look.  My favorite name from their compilations was "Too Late To Pray" although unfortunately I didn't find

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Not Today, Satan; I’m Toast

Horatio Cornblower -
83

Guten Tag drones. This week we draft your favorite flavors of Goldfish crackers.  Rikki gave me this idea long ago, but I was worried it was too limited, but this week I'm (literally) fried and I ain't give a fuck.  Go ahead and draft your favorite Goldfish flavors below.  I don't

Monday Morning Mock Draft: It’s Such A Perfect Day!!

Horatio Cornblower -
91

Guten Tag, drones. This week we begin the short slog to the long weekend that begins Friday, (earlier if you, unlike me, didn't blow two weeks of vacation last month) (I'll still be pretty hard to find Thursday), and if you make it work, extends through Monday as well. This week we

Monday Morning Mock Draft: F*ck It’s Hot

Horatio Cornblower -
95

Guten Tag drones. As you read this I am likely driving 90 minutes each way for a Court-ordered hearing that will last 15 minutes.  Also it is going to be between 90-95 and humid.  I'll be wearing a suit, and on the way home I'll probably be stopping at my mother's

Monday Morning Mock Draft: You Got What For Those Cows!?!?

Horatio Cornblower -
60

Guten Tag, drones, and by the way, there's a puzzle in the title that I bet all you little smartasses from The Request Line will figure out quicker than a cocaine heartbeat. It's Monday morning, (assuming I scheduled this correctly), and it's time for mock drafting.  I was ready to go

Monday Morning Mock Draft: White People In Puerto Rico!

Horatio Cornblower -
167

Guten Tag, drones. Before we get to the topic at had I just want to say that I am sitting in rainy and oddly chilly Connecticut, having just spent a week in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, (as opposed to what?  Old San Juan, Illinois?), something I don't recommend unless you

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Habemus Papem!!

Horatio Cornblower -
93

Gutentag drones. We've got a draft based on current events for you today.  For the first time in tries the Cardinals got one right and finally named an American as Pope! We'll just ignore his Peruvian citizenship, the fact that he seems to have spent at least half his life living outside