Author: The Maestro

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 4: The 1920 Briggs & Stratton Flyer

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! I'll tell you one thing, brother. I wouldn't piss on Tom Brady if he was on fuckin' fire. I wish nothin' but hate on that dude. Fuckin' ruined

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 3: The 1913 Scripps-Booth Bi-AutoGo

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! USFL commish says we gotta start takin' a look at our rosters to figure shit out soon. FUCK THAT. It's BURNOUT SEASON, baby. Colder temps mean more rubber

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 2: The 1911 Reeves Overland OctoAuto

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] BOSS TODD IS FUCKIN' BACK, BITCHES! God DAMN. That was some good fucking playoff football last week, huh? Not the Bucs I guess, though. Brady looked like a rusted-out heap of shit. Guess whatever

Boss Todd’s Garage, Episode 1: The 1899 Horsey Horseless

The Maestro -
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[A 1985 Camaro IROC-Z squeals its tires, bursting onscreen to the sounds of Judas Priest's "Breakin' The Law".] What the FUCK is UP, you fucking PUSSIES? I'm BOSS FUCKIN' TODD HALEY, head coach and GM of the USFL's MEMPHIS SHOWBOATS WOOOOOOOO!!! You dumbshits probably know me from my NFL experiences in KC

It’s Chucky’s Team Now: Your 2022 England World Cup Preview

The Maestro -
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What an absolutely abysmal eight decades eighteen months it's been for England. First, you're already the laughingstock of the planet, still dealing with the aftershocks of a crumbled empire that have been inevitable for the past century. Second, your perennially underachieving football team appears to finally play up to form for the

CFL Beat: Week 21

The Maestro -
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The playoff picture is now finally set! We have one "meaningless" week of football - but I do hope all the same that it's mildly entertaining. Not too much on the news this week, but expect to see a few more notes once the regular season officially concludes and we

CFL Beat: Week 20

The Maestro -
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Every single game from this past week ended as a one-score game. That's the beauty of this crazy, ridiculous league. Even with all of the disparity we've seen this season, seems like we're still thrown a few curveballs to keep our attention going right to the very end of the

CFL Beat: Week 19

The Maestro -
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After a couple surprising outcomes last week, the East playoff picture is still not settled; the third spot remains up for grabs, of course, but even Montreal, still occupying the second seed, hasn't clinched just yet. A win in Ottawa on Friday will change that, of course, but at least