Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 75)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 31, 2017March 30, 2017

The scene: The Castle of Death, in Chihuahua, Mexico, where our band of intrepid DFOers, with the help of a pair of valiant luchadores and, to a lesser extent Wolfman Rob, have over the last several episodes been fighting a trio of vampiric beauties, a horde of zombies, and now

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 74)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 24, 2017March 24, 2017

The scene: The meeting room of the DFO clubhouse. Unsurprised is tied to a chair while Future Clone Debbie Harry sits at the head of the table in Darkest Timeline Zach Morris's super-special Prez chair. Future Clone Debbie Harry: OK, let's hear it again. Who am I prettier than? Unsurprised: Everybody. Can

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 73)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 17, 2017March 16, 2017

The scene: The Moosemobile, which is racing desperately towards the Castle of Death while a mad clown clings to the hood. Future Moose is driving, with Doktor Zymm riding shotgun, Man in Plaid #2's head in her lap. In the backseat are WCS and Pirate Sloth. Oh, and there's a sky-hole

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 72)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 10, 2017March 9, 2017

The scene: The In-N-Out across from the DFO clubhouse. PK is backing out of the store quickly, laden down with packages of cookies, potato chips, corn chips, doughnuts, several jars of frosting, a package of beef jerky, a small baked ham and a can of whip cream. PK (yelling back

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 71)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 3, 2017March 1, 2017

The scene: The twisted road which leads toward the Castle of Death, on which the Moosemobile currently sits. And on top of the Moosemobile are Future Moose and Doktor Zymm. Zymm is currently swinging Man in Plaid #2's head at the hordes of undead that surround the vehicle, and Moose

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 70)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 24, 2017February 23, 2017

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. It's deserted, aside from Unsurprised, PK and Future Clone Debbie Harry, who are all inside. Future Clone Debbie Harry: Unacceptable! This is totally unacceptable! I come back here to take my revenge, and everyone is gone? PK: Maybe they went out for some doughnuts. You know, I

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 69) Special King-Size Edition!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 17, 2017February 17, 2017

The scene: A little-used U.S./Mexico border crossing, where a border patrol officer is showing a young rookie the ropes. Border Patrol Officer: Now, y'see, you've gotta know who to let through and who might be a clear and present danger to our country and the American way of life. Rookie: Yessir! But... Border

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 68)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 10, 2017February 8, 2017

The scene: The dark, dank dungeon of the Castle of Death, where the DFOers are being held prisoner. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van, Covalent Blonde, Low Commander and Otto's Brain are in a cell, as are their newfound luchador friends Señor Weaselo and La Araña Discoteca, after having been captured by

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 67)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 3, 2017February 1, 2017

The scene: The Moosemobile, with Covalent Blonde behind the wheel. She is currently navigating the long, twisting road leading up a craggy hill to the Castle of Death at breakneck speeds while the others hang on for dear life. Low Commander is riding shotgun, gripping the dashboard with one hand

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 66)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 27, 2017January 26, 2017

The scene: The open highway, where Moosemas Gorilla and Horatio Cornblower are driving down the road in a 1961 Corvette convertible. Moosemas Gorilla is driving, while Horatio is riding in a sling hanging from the rear-view mirror. Horatio Cornblower: Ah, the open road! It's great to get away from all of

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 65)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 20, 2017January 19, 2017

The scene: A dark, foreboding castle, high up on a craggy hill. The moon is full, a bright beacon in the inky blackness of the Stygian night. A bat flies by, the flapping of its wings the only sound that breaks the unnatural silence until, far off in the distance

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 64)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 13, 2017January 12, 2017

The scene: The open road, just a ways from the Door Flies Open clubhouse, purt near the edge of town and a stone's throw away from the highway. Future Clone Debbie Harry is striding down the road towards the clubhouse while PK, carrying three car batteries, struggles to keep up.