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We’re almost at the end of April! Who would have thought that time would fly by so quickly under this quarantine/lockdown/whatever you want to call it?
Last week, I told you guys about Tik Tok. In Tik Tok, I ran across a very funny video of a little Latino kid watching sexy girls dancing and then clapping “Bravo”. My joke was that this was a rare video of young Balls.
The funny thing is that it’s not too far from the truth. As you all may or may not know, I was born in Mexico City and came to the US legally (thanks to my dad’s job) with my parents shortly before I reached double digits. We watched, as would be natural, spanish language TV.
Well, spanish language TV in those days, was… sexy. These are the shows that stick out in my head the most as influencing Young Balls (Fuck you, CBS, I’m not selling you my sitcom idea):
La Carabina De Ambrosio was a Mexican variety show that featured sketches, magicians, songs, and dance numbers. If you play that intro song to any Mexican that was around in the late 70s and early 80s, I guarantee you’ll get a hearty laugh and they will instantly recognize it from the show!
For those of you that don’t know, Jorge Porcel was an Argentinian comedian that made a bunch of comedy movies with his partner Alberto Olmedo in the 1970s and 80s. Their movies aired on spanish TV in the US during the early to mid 80s.
My favourite is “Los Caballeros De La Cama Redonda”, translated literally as “The Gentlemen of the Round Bed” or colloquially as “The Knights of the Round Bed”, a play on the Arthurian Knights of the Round Table. Here is the entire movie, in case you want to see it. Yes, it’s in spanish. You should learn a second language while you’re stuck at home:
Olmedo tragically died in 1988 after falling out of a high balcony, ending the film series. A year earlier, Porcel had started his own variety show, “Las Gatitas y Ratones de Porcel”, translated as “The Kitties and Mice of Porcel”, in Argentina and that show aired on spanish language TV in the US.
Eventually, Porcel moved to Miami, where he started “A La Cama Con Porcel”, translated as “To Bed With Porcel” which was another sketch variety show which aired late at night.
So, if you’ve ever wondered why I’m the perv that I am, why I absolutely love double entendres, and why I have an affinity for shapely female asses, it’s because of these shows and films.
Many things happened at DFO last week. Let’s talk about them.
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BC Dick’s Curling Updates
Our awesome Master Curler has concluded the Women’s Curling Championship Poll. As of my last update, I did not know who had won as the scores were tied. Well, apparently BC Dick had voted for Canada not knowing he was going to be the tie-breaking vote!
This meant that, once his vote was removed from the initial tally, Sweden was able to win by one measly vote!
Thank you very much to BC Dick for putting this together and I look forward to the Men’s Tourney coming soon!
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The Week in DFO
These are the things I read in DFO this week that reminded me how much I love this site:
Let’s start things off with a note from one of my exes:
and a reminder we have important sporting events to look forward to:
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Found a funny:
rockindog
Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but-
Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what
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With no barber I am a month away from starting a garage band and really getting in to heroin.
Litre_cola
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/ found a funny
Redshirt
“The COVID-19 numbers are starting to flatten. We can start removing the social restrictions” = “The parachute is slowing our decent. We can start removing it now.”
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Any guesses who the NFL troublemakers were in 1974? Hint: it was the black guys.
Gumbygirl
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From Weekend Update:
Redshirt
“Mitch McConnell, seen here calmly watching an orphanage burn…”
“Spread the tallow around, for a consistent flame”
Don T
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My wife has done that to me and it is awesome.
Horatio
That speaks well for the shape of your wife’s behind.
Viva La Tabula Raza
Made you go to the mall?
Moose
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I learned today that cutting your own hair with electric clippers is harder than I thought it would be. I now look like John Candy’s character from Stripes, during boot camp, only a little less husky.
ArmedandHammered
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Choke him, Jesus!
Gumbygirl
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I feel Fronkenshteen. When I was single I used to get two sodas when I did the drive through at McDonald’s so they would think I was getting food for two people. I HAD SODA AT HOME.
WhyEaglesWhy
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The accent? Really?
Dunstan
I’m judging you like Hippo judges fetishes.
Like Itchy Hippo before the pills? Or Mellow Hippo after the pills?
LemonJello
Hippo is busy being addicted to a video game. Stay tuned for Saturday when you won’t understand the words but feel his rage.
Litre_cola
Oh yes. Yes a hundred times. I love that. Favourite accent by far. In my afterlife she’ll be yelling at me to clean up my act while I drink beer on the lawn in a filthy undershirt.
BC Dick
Some accents and voices can move people way up the charts…… other way down (listen to Fran Drescher)….. this might also be a good competition or spank bracket.
Moose
Yeah, Brooklyn, Long Island, and Boston accents are huge turnoffs for me. Australian and Irish, yes please.
Dunstan
I turned my GPS to an Irish woman, and now I can never find my way without an erection.
Moose
I discovered that Siri has an Australian female setting.
Dunstan
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“Not gonna lie, every last man on earth hung from a tree and vulnerable blondes getting fucked by robots really turns me on!”
scotchnaut
-King Hippo
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The Bud Lite sponsored boos finally made me understand what my leftiest of Profs. meant about “coopting”. It means “thoroughly declaw a ‘Fuck You’”.
Don T
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Found a funny:
rockindog
friend: u know how neat it is when 12 ppl shout over each other in real life
me: no
friend: [sends me a zoom link] well ur in luck
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Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: ‘You cannot stop COVID 19 you can only hope to contain it”
Buddy
This pandemic is going to ooooooooooovertime
Buddy
NOTHING but the bottom of the casket
Buddy
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Chase Young’s nickname is “Predator” ??? Seems more fitting for a Penn State athlete.
LemonJello
Chase Young is already a pretty appropriate name for anyone associated with Penn State athletics; no need for a nickname there.
Horatio
In homage to JoePa, I’m going to pretend this comment didn’t happen.
LemonJello
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Mike Brown has sent Joe Burrow and his parents jerseys (#9) and a welcome letter.
SonOfSpam
I’m guessing the Burrows will be billed for the jerseys (plus postage).
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Goodell: “The Cincinnati Bengals are on the clock.”
Redshirt
Operator: “You have a collect call from…”
Goodell: (under his breath) “Cheap ass, motherfucker.”
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My wife just asked “How are you doing? Are you winning?” and I said ‘What exactly do you think the draft is?” and she said “I don’t know; you’r drinking beer and typing at people you don’t know, so I figured a game was on” and folks, I did not have a comeback for that.
Horatio
My then girlfriend now wife has always called this place my nerdery. Then I got her brother involved.
Litre_cola
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Chargers select a real estate lawyer who’s really good at getting their clients out of a lease.
Spur
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Gruden realizes there’s nothing Vegas like more than speed
Gatoraids
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If Jordan Love had gone to BYU instead of Utah State he’d be Jordan Loves.
makeitsnowondem
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What can I say? I love airplanes. And now, a double shot of great songs featured in this week’s Request Line:
Thank you to everyone one for providing quality gifs to keep us entertained as we are quarantined in our homes. Now go take a bath, you filthy animals!
Please stay home and avoid other people. See you next week!
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