The scene: The In-N-Out across from the DFO clubhouse. PK is backing out of the store quickly, laden down with packages of cookies, potato chips, corn chips, doughnuts, several jars of frosting, a package of beef jerky, a small baked ham and a can of whip cream.

PK (yelling back towards the store): I told you, put all this stuff on the DFO account! Gee whiz, you lizards are so temperamental…

PK starts to head for the clubhouse, but a groaning sound from around the corner of the In-N-Out sends him trotting off in that direction. He turns the corner to find the crumpled form of Man in Plaid #1, who was run over by Future Clone Debbie Harry some time ago when she and PK returned to this century. It was in Chapter 48. Seriously, I had to go look it up. I’m really gonna have to Wiki this damn thing at some point…

PK: Wow, you don’t look so good!

Man in Plaid #1: Zzrrt. I…am… zzkkk…

PK: You don’t sound so good, either! I had a vacuum once that made that sound, right before it exploded. I was using it to pick up marbles, y’see, and…

Man in Plaid #1: Grrzt! My prim…prime…primary functions are failing… Zzzrk!

PK (heading back to the clubhouse): Hey, you hang on there, buddy! I’m gonna go get my partner. She’s from the future…I’ll bet she can fix you right up!

Man in Plaid #1: Krrzzt!

Cut to: Chihuahua, Mexico. Specifically, the Castle of Death, where Lilith is learning what the rest of the Door Flies Open have known for years: Never piss off JJ Fozz.

JJ Fozz (now a yuuuge purple pile of muscle and swinging a mighty fist at Lilith): FOZZ SMASH!

Lilith (dodging to avoid being smooshed): I have to say, in all my centuries, I have never seen anything quite like you.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van (still dazed & confused): Whoa! Like, hey, Fozz-man! I can tell you’ve been, like, hitting the gym, man!

Lilith dodges another blow that cracks the stone floor, rousing Covalent Blonde from her stunned condition.

Covalent Blonde: What the hell hit me…?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: Oh, hey, CB! Like, check out the pecs on Fozz, man. Dude must, like, curl Hondas.

Covalent Blonde: That purple giant trying to smash that bloodsucking bimbo is Fozz?

Lilith (with an angry glare toward Covalent Blonde): Bimbo? I’ll have you know-

A yuuuge purple fist catches Lilith in an uppercut and sends her crashing through the ceiling.

JJ Fozz (grinning): FOZZ SMASH!

Covalent Blonde: No shi-

Cut to: The room upstairs, where Yolanda is freeing Ballsofsteelandfuryfrom his chains.

Ballsofsteelandfury: I never thought I’d say this, but I am really looking forward to wearing pants again.

Yolanda: Chu!

Suddenly Lilith comes crashing through the floor. She bounces off of the ceiling and then lands on the shattered floor.

Lilith: Ouch…

Ballsofsteelandfury: Yikes. I guess that means Fozz is kinda pissed right now. Say, you want to hurry up and get the last of these chains off?

Lilith (glancing over at the pair): And what foul treachery is this? Yolanda! Just what do you think you’re doing?

Yolanda: I’m freeing him! I’m tired of you killing every man you see, just because you think that will get Bruce’s attention!

Ballsofsteelandfury: Bruce…?

Yolanda: Her old boyfriend. It’s actually more of a nickname. He was a shark-headed god. And he moved on, Lilith!

Ballsofsteelandfury: Really? That’s what this is about? Closure?

Lilith: Careful, Yolanda…you’re treading on thin ice…

Yolanda: I don’t care! I hate it here, in this musty old castle! I’ve done everything you wanted me to do for 300 years, and I’m sick of it!

Lilith: Look, you little… Hey, are you speaking English?

Yolanda: Well, duh! I’m three-hundred and thirty-seven years old, Lilith! I have taken a few night classes in my time.

Ballsofsteelandfury: Look, I think you two have a lot of…issues…to talk about…

Lilith casually grabs Ballsofsteelandfury by the shoulders and gives him a headbutt.

Lilith: Shut. Up.

Ballsofsteelandfury (grabbing his bloody nose): By dose! I think you broke it!

Yolanda: Oh, sure. Violence solves everything, right?

Lilith: You know, I think I’ve had just about enough out of yo-

Suddenly JJ Fozz bursts through the hole in the floor and lands with a shuddering thump.

JJ Fozz: FOZZ SMASH MORE!

Lilith: Oh, crap.

Lilith moves away from Ballsofsteelandfury and Yolanda, towards the wall. JJ Fozz snarls and lunges toward her. At the last instant she dodges to the side. JJ Fozz crashes through the stone wall and tumbles outside, landing with a solid thud on the ground far below.

Lilith (looking out the hole in the wall): Well, that should take care of-

A long piece of sharpened wood jutting through her chest cuts off Lilith’s speech. She staggers around to see Covalent Blonde standing there, a wry smile on her face.

Covalent Blonde: Y’know, we DFOers might be reprobates, miscreants and lawyers, but at least we watch each other’s backs.

Lilith tries to gurgle out a response, but instead she starts to age. It starts slowly, as her hair streaks with grey and lines etch into her face, then accelerates as she ages centuries in mere seconds. She falls to the ground a lifeless mummified skeleton.

Yolanda: Madre di Dios!

Covalent Blonde: Honey, I am nobody’s mother. Hey, Balls. Get some pants, why don’tcha?

Ballsofsteelandfury (still holding his nose): Hey, CB. Tanks for de save.

Covalent Blonde (walking over): No Problem. What’s with the nose?

Ballsofsteelandfury: I dink iz busted.

Covalent Blonde: Oh, yeah? Lemme take a look…

Covalent Blonde looks at Ballsofsteelandfury’s nose, grabs it with both palms, and, with an audible crack, gives it a twist.

Ballsofsteelandfury: OW! SONUVA-

Covalent Blonde: You’re welcome.

A drop of blood from Ballsofsteelandfury’s repaired nose drops onto the ornate slab of carved stone that he had been chained to. The stone absorbs the blood, and the room begins to shake.

Yolanda (eyes growing wide): I…I don’t believe it! Lilith was right about you. You are a true descendant of the Aztec kings!

Ballsofsteelandfury (shooting double finger guns): Hell, yeah I am! You heard it here first, CB! Blood of kings, baby!

Yolanda: You don’t understand… It takes Aztec blood to open the portal.

Ballsofsteelandfury (shooting another set of finger guns): Yeah it does! Woo!

Covalent Blonde: Balls…I think she’s trying to say that’s a bad thing…

Cut to: Outside the Castle of Death, where the DFOers have been kicking the asses of Lilith’s zombie horde.

DTZM (braining a zombie with a tire iron): Nice going, guys! We’ve got these things on the run now!

Beeguyrob (draining a bottle of beer and then smashing it over a zombie’s head): Or at least on the shamble. Hey, what’s going on with the sky?

Over the Castle of Death, the sky begins to swirl. Clouds appear and whirl in a chaotic mass, and a bright light beams from the center of it all.

OSZ: Hey, it’s a sky-hole!

Moosemas Gorilla (throwing a zombie into several other zombies): Ook?

Horatio Cornblower: Like in all of those comic book movies. The Avengers, Thor: The Dark World…

OSZ: Man of Steel, Suicide Squad…

Horatio Cornblower: I wouldn’t know. I don’t watch the DC movies.

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook? Ook-ook!

Horatio Cornblower: Well, that’s different! That’s Batman!

King Hippo (walking up, the chair with Brocky tied to it on his shoulder): Hey, what’s with the portal thingy?

OSZ: It’s a sky-hole. Just like in all the comic book movies.

Brocky: Not Deadpool! Deadpool didn’t need no stinkin’ sky-hole!

Cut to: The Moosemobile, where Future Moose is speeding toward the Castle of Death with Doktor Zymm, Man in Plaid #2’s head, WCS and Pirate Sloth.

WCS (looking out the window): Whoa…check out the sky-hole!

Future Moose: Ah, that’s not good…

Pirate Sloth: Yar, be it rainin’?

They all look out the window to see forms falling from the hole in the sky.

Doktor Zymm: I do not zink zat ist rain…

One of the forms falls directly on the hood of the Moosemobile with a thud. It turns, revealing fuzzy red hair, a white face and a wicked grin.

WCS: What the heck?

Man in Plaid #2’s Head: It is…

Future Moose: CLOWNPOCALYPSE!

To be continued…