Collingwood beat us last year in a game they shouldn’t have.  They were coming off a big victory last week and we were feeling good about ourselves after winning the Patrick Dangerfield Bowl.  It was a recipe for disaster.  Oh well.  My disappointment, other people’s disappointments, a new AFL footballer to meet, and much more in this week’s

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Let’s start with the highly anticipated Hawthorn Hawks-Sydney Swans Kings of Alliteration Match on Friday Night Footy. This was a well-fought low-scoring game.  I managed to catch the last quarter on Friday morning before work and it was a treat to watch.  Hawthorn were behind when I tuned in, but quickly scored to make it almost even.  The rest of the quarter was tense up until the end when the Swans got a little breathing space.  The final score was 55-69

and it leaves Sydney in a tie for second thanks to the Magpies’ victory on North American Friday night against Geelong.  Here are some highlights of Sydney’s Lance “Buddy” Franklin doing what he does best:

Did you see where he kicked that from?  That was a one-bouncer from the centre square into the goal!

As mentioned above, my beloved Cats fell to the Pies thanks to an amazing first quarter in which the Pies held the Cats goal-less and themselves scored 7 goals.  That really was the story of the game.  On a positive note, the Cats outscored the Pies in every quarter after the first, but it was not enough as the Pies fought off each comeback attempt, even when the margin was down to 9.  The announcers went crazy for Mason Cox, one of the newest Pies, a bonafide Amerricun, and a former basketball walk-on at Oklahoma State:

Hey, Deadspin, how about a little recognition for the ole AFL Beat, huh?  Not to be all hipstery and shit, but how many articles have you written about Aussie Rules?  Or is it just because you like Cox?

At the same time as the Geelong game, Adelaide was taking on the Gold Coast Suns in Queensland.  “Taking on” may be a bit of an exaggeration as the game was never close.  The Crows more than doubled up the Suns.  It wouldn’t be a Crows recap without an Eddie Betts highlight:

Well, he didn’t actually catch that one, but my favorite 70’s porn actor did:

Later that night, Port Adelaide hosted the West Coast Eagles in a game that was anticipated to be close.  The final score is a bit deceptive as West Coast was, surprisingly for the road, dominant throughout.  The Power tried valiantly to come back late in the fourth and managed to make the margin close, but the Eagles were able to come away with the 8 point win.  Here, the Eagles’ Josh Kennedy celebrates the upcoming birth of his first child by kicking his seventh (!) goal of the game after some fancy moves:

It was a rough game from the opening tip

that only got rougher as it went on:

Even later that night, the North Melbourne Kangaroos : Carlton Blues :: Tom Jonas : Andrew Gaff as they controlled the match from the get-go and cruised to a 113-46 victory at the Etihad.

This seems fun:

although I think North preferred to see this:

In the final game of Friday night/Saturday morning, the Fremantle Dockers were looking for their first victory of the year against the Richmond Tigers.  The thought was that the Tigers had “stolen” one from the Swans last week and were due for a letdown while the Dockers were playing at home and had a real chance to break through.  To that, the Dockers said,

As in previous games, the Dockers started off the first quarter well.  They just got high and sort of wandered off in the second, third, and fourth.  The final score was Richmond 83 Fremantle 45. At least the umpires got in on the action!

Allow me to explain that call.  Normally, players under duress (italics extremely important) are allowed to kick or hand-pass the ball over the goal/behind lines for a “rushed behind”.  The defensive team gives away a point, but it saves five considering the other team had a pretty good opportunity to kick a goal. This year, the AFL has tightened up the enforcement of the “deliberate rushed behind” rule such that the player must really be under duress in order to allow the point.  Should the player be judged to NOT be under duress, as was the case in the highlight above, the offensive team is given a free kick in front of goal, which is basically a guaranteed goal.

The rule has been in the game for years, but it is just now that the emphasis has been placed on punishing the defensive player for not fully exploring his options.  My take on the highlight above is that it is the correct call.  The Fremantle player could have easily kicked the ball to the side and chased after it as he had plenty of room instead of kicking it into goal from so far out.

***

This

is Steve “Stevie J” Johnson of the GWS Giants.  Last year, he was with the Geelong Cats as he had been for many years and where he won three Premierships.  He was getting on in age, so Geelong “delisted” him, which is basically the AFL equivalent of cutting him.  The GWS Giants picked him up and he has shown that not only does he still have a lot to give as a player, he has developed into a team leader and has helped the Giants to a tremendous start that included a big victory over his former team at his new home.  He is known for his great sense of humor and his ability to have fun on the field

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU-t4rlVhVs

and off

The Giants have been very good this year and Stevie is a large part of that.  Everyone should catch at least one GWS game to see him play.  He will most likely do something amazing.

***

On North American Saturday night, the Melbourne Demons hosted the Brisbane Lions at the MCG.  If the Demons are to be considered for real as contenders, this was a game they should win easily. Well, it looks like they really are contenders. They handled the Lions with relative ease and cruised to a 131-68 (one off!) victory. Here are a couple of highlights:

Hey, the women’s teams faced off prior to the game!  Did the Brisbane ladies do any better than the men?

Apparently not.  What is going on at Brisbane that the footy teams are so bad?  Oh, I think I get it now.  This is why the LA Rams will move out of LA within ten years.

Later that night, the GWS Giants hosted the Western Bulldogs in a match that would really tell a lot about both teams.  Going into the game, both teams were tied on points and firmly entrenched in the top eight.  This game would be a big barometer of the quality of each side.  It turns out that, at least for one night at home, the GWS Giants are better than the Doggies as they built up a good lead in the first half and then cruised in the second on their way to a comfortable 25 point win.  Here, the Giants’ Jeremy Cameron makes some sense out of chaos as he boots a long goal:

Shortly thereafter, Dylan Shiel nails a goal from a tough angle:

In the final match of the Round, the St. Kilda Saints met up with the Essendon Bombers at the Etihad.  Although they both consider the Etihad their home ground, this was considered a “home” game for the Saints.  They made their “home” crowd very happy as they took care of the Bombers, as they should, to the tune of a 109-63 win. Who wants to see some hot man-on-man-on-man-on-man action?

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

Here are the standings for our Footy Tipping Contest!

Next week is the Sir Doug Nicholls Indigenous Round!  Teams will wear special guernseys showing the Aboriginal heritage of Australia.  In addition, a game will be played in Alice Springs, which is in the interior of Australia and closest to where the aboriginal population now lives. Here is next week’s schedule (All times Pacific):

Friday May 27

Sydney Swans v North Melbourne at SCG (2.50 AM)

Brisbane Lions v Hawthorn at Gabba (8.45pm)

Melbourne v Port Adelaide at TIO Traeger Park, Alice Springs (9.10pm)

St Kilda v Fremantle at Etihad Stadium (11.35pm)

Saturday May 28

Essendon v Richmond at MCG (2.25 AM) (Dreamtime at the G Match)

Adelaide v GWS Giants at Adelaide Oval (2.40 AM)

Carlton v Geelong at Etihad Stadium (8.10pm)

Collingwood v Western Bulldogs at MCG (10.20pm)

West Coast Eagles v Gold Coast Suns at Subiaco Oval (11.40pm)

The Friday Night Footy clash again looms large this week as Sydney takes on the undefeated Kangaroos.  It’s a good thing I’m taking Friday off to make it a four-day Memorial Day weekend!  Woo!!  I may actually watch every game…  There are a lot of other intriguing matchups such as the Adelaide-GWS game, St. Kilda-Fremantle, and Collingwood-Western.  This week coming up, whatever you do, don’t forget to PUT THE TIP IN!

See you next week!