This is best read with Matty Moyer’s voice in mind.  For reference….

Brazil plays soccer. Oh shit…I mean Futbol.

Brazilian citizens like soccer. Oh shit…I mean Futbol.

Brazil has had a rich tradition in the international soccer (dammit….Futbol!!!!!) world…but not lately as much.

Brazil has won 5 World Cup titles (but not since 2002).

Brazil has won 8 Copa America titles (but not since 2007).

Brazil is currently ranked #7 internationally by FIFA (if you can trust THOSE assholes).

Brazil is in group B of the 2016 Copa America, along with Ecuador, Haiti and Peru.

I’ve never been to any of those countries. Or Brazil either, for that matter.  I need to travel more.

Though my aunt and uncle did spend a month in Ecuador this past winter/spring. I don’t talk to them much though so I still don’t know much about Ecuador. They live in Alaska. In Alaska, they don’t play much soccer. Oh Shit…I mean Futbol.

And that’s all I know about Brazilian (giggity) soccer (translation…I got bored with wikipedia and started searching for porn). Oh shit…I mean Futbol.

But here is ESPN’s Jason Davis (no idea who that is) to tell you more.  He allegedly knows more about soccer (DAMMIT!!!!) and Brazil than I do….

Copa America Group B: Brazil, Ecuador aim for top spot, Peru looks to Surprise (ESPN.com)

It probably isn’t fair to Ecuador, or even Peru, to say that Group B is simply “the group of Brazil” but there’s no denying that a majority expects the Selecao to come out on top. Brazil, Ecuador and Peru will be joined by Haiti, the weakest of the CONCACAF teams taking part in the tournament, which makes Brazil’s road to the knockout stages all the more secure. With all signs pointing to Haiti being the recipient of some lopsided scorelines, the right to escape the group in second place probably will come down to Ecuador and Peru, and perhaps even goal differential.

[snip]

Must-see game: Brazil vs. Ecuador

The match between the group’s presumed favorites, Brazil vs. Ecuador on June 4 at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, is the opener for both teams. If one can manage to take three points, they will become the immediate favorite to win the group. A draw, on the other hand, will set the stage for a tense group stage that could depend on goal differentials against Peru and Haiti, with each team’s date against the latter looming particularly large.

Schedule:

• Saturday, June 4 – Brazil vs Ecuador
• Wednesday, June 8 – Brazil vs Haiti
• Sunday, June 12 – Brazil vs Peru

This is not ‘Nam, this is Futbol…There are fucking RULES!!!!!!!!

(shut the fuck up, Donnie)

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They also have some moderately attractive fans….

It’s not difficult to get distracted….

Sometimes they even make multiple copies….you know, in case you wear out the first one and all….

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Oh and they wear a buttload of yellow….so WCS probably likes them.

So, go Brazil. We’re all going Brazilian in honor of thee.

(wow, I sure as heck can’t link any of THOSE pics…grumble grumble)

((go ahead and make your choice early))

I think I’ll go Bermuda Triangle.  I mean it’s not like I’m not already lost most of the time anyway.

Damn, I can’t decide.

Also….don’t watch this…trust me….

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/goes back to surfing for porn

//WOW…THAT’S A LOT OF BRAZILIANS

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