2017 Quotables – Super Bowl (Submissions)

blaxabbath - February 6, 2018February 6, 2018

Out with a whimper, here are the last of your 2017 Quotables. A special thanks to Unsurprised for his contributions this week. Make me proud.

2017 Quotables – Pro Bowl (Results)

blaxabbath - February 2, 2018February 2, 2018

Look, I didn't feel like writing up any text on Tuesday and I sure as hell don't feel like doing it today. Send me a meteor, a meteor, a meteor, or a Steel Reserve -- that's how MY week is going. Oh, what's that? You all don't tune in to Quotables

2017 Quotables – Conference Round (Results)

blaxabbath - January 26, 2018January 26, 2018

Look, I was in Vegas for one night (Wednesday) and I think I'm still hungover. So I'll grind out some judgmental results here but you're not getting my special brand of wittiness and insightful commentary this Friday.

2017 Quotables – Conference Round (Submissions)

blaxabbath - January 23, 2018January 23, 2018

(Yeah, Swoop does not silhouette well.) I know there's a lot anti Eagles-fan (present company always excluded) hate floating around here after the behavior of Philadelphians on Sunday. And that hate is understandably valid. I think we've all been a little spoiled by dealing with Broncos fans and Seahawks "fans" in recent

2017 Quotables – Divisional Round (Results)

blaxabbath - January 19, 2018January 19, 2018

One of my favorite things about the postseason is that this is when stars are made. I mean, say what you will about Blake Bortles, he's an NFL quarterback for a conference championship game participant. What happened to Dak and Zeke since flaming out to an 0-1 playoff record in 2016?

2017 Quotables – Divisional Round (Submissions)

blaxabbath - January 16, 2018January 16, 2018

I've not much to say that hasn't already been presented this week. Like many of you, I'm rooting for Jags v Vikings in the Super Bowl (and I expect the Vikings to just take directly to the streets if they win) but we all know it's going to be N*E

2017 Quotables – Wild Card Round (Results)

blaxabbath - January 12, 2018January 12, 2018

Nah, it's just the image. I don't actually have anything to say about the officials this postseason. I mean, nothing that hasn't been said already. Personally, I think they should just get rid of replay -- with the exception of coach's challenges, scoring plays, turnovers, and inside two minutes (which I

2017 Quotables – Wild Card Round (Submissions)

blaxabbath - January 9, 2018January 9, 2018

Playoffs huh? I'm more of a Browns 0-16 Parade kind of guy myself. Well, I'm not here to comment on the quality of the games, gamesmanship, or game day experience. Though I will admit that I did watch the Bills game to the extend that I turned it on, literally, one

2017 Quotables – Week 17 (Results)

blaxabbath - January 5, 2018January 5, 2018

Congrats to those of you who made it through another successful regular season. The fans -- the silent heroes of the NFL (except in Seattle where they are just so loud/throw fish) -- I don't think get enough credit for the mental anguish they experience every year. I mean, Browns

2017 Quotables – Week 16 (Results)

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 30, 2017December 31, 2017

Photo Credit: NY Post I'd make a "The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree" joke, but honestly, the above-pictured Eli looks more like a penis in that hoodie than he does a fruit. Speaking of circumcision, some tough cuts in this week's quotables. It was a holiday weekend, so like late

2017 Quotables – Week 16 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - December 26, 2017December 26, 2017

Let me start off this week by saying that there is no buttception gif. I saw it, I got it, but then I realized that, in the NFL, butt stuff is only funny when it's tragic. Maybe if the pass had hit the receiver in the derrière, knocking him to

2017 Quotables – Week 15 Results

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 22, 2017December 22, 2017

Banner Image from Pinterest. What? Screw you. And yes, he is a big ol' meathead. Buenos días, damas y caballeros. Your usual consigliere de Quotables has decided that you all deserve his entertainment but not his judgment. So you're stuck with me. Boo fucking hoo. This week's submissions here. You'll note not all