• Reflections

King Hippo - November 21, 2016November 20, 2016

57

First of all - fuck the world, and fuck humanity. Extinction is coming, and we will totes deserve it. Until that sweet day of reckoning, onto the games. Second of all...I forgot to check for fill-in columns first. Oopsie. So apologies for duplicative #content. Everyone missed almost every

• Reflections

King Hippo - November 7, 2016November 6, 2016

43

I am not having a good year. Everything after Superb Owl L has been a slip and slide made of bile and vomitus. So on that note, congratulations to your AFC West champion Oakland Raiders. And kudos to JDR for a fantastic gameplan, well-executed. So much

• Reflections

King Hippo - October 31, 2016October 30, 2016

14

Well, I don't know what gets much scarier than what happened to Donks cult hero Wade Phillips on the sideline of what was otherwise a Most Glorious Pick Six for his defense. (Thankfully, the tubby defensive zen master is alive and well.) But the VERY SCARY STORIES that

• Reflections

King Hippo - October 24, 2016October 23, 2016

72

This weekend came and went. I didn't particularly enjoy it, and the Donks still can make things worse with a MNF shitshow. I am reticent. THANK FUCK for HillyBob's steadfast competence. Speaking of steadfast competence, that is all we had seen from the Vikings and Sam Bradford.

• Reflections

King Hippo - October 10, 2016October 9, 2016

46

And then, there was one. HAI, Minny!! Well, I guess we could awkwardly wave to Factory too, but...let's not and say we did? I am a bad person. Some frauds got found out this week, and definitely count YOOOOUUUUUSTON amongst them. But give the Vikes credit - they absolutely

• Reflections

King Hippo - October 3, 2016October 2, 2016

61

It's not the most glorious thing in the world, but we sports fans get overly used to the idea/extent of the "doormat" designation. It seems unthinkable that Team X could ever get their shit together...and then they are down to their 3rd QB. But lo and behold, things

• Reflections

King Hippo - September 26, 2016September 25, 2016

41

Week 3 brought us multiple safeties, and multiple fat guy TDs. It was fun that way. It was also plenty surprising, as we will discuss below... Holy shit, Philadelphia. I very smugly dismissed you in the late games preview, and you done showed me fer what. More

• Reflections

King Hippo - September 19, 2016September 18, 2016

41

Hey howdy there! We sure did get some exciting (and derpy!) footballing this past Sunday, did we not? BLEERGH be praised. Remember Lawrence Taylor winning League MVP honors as a defender? Von Miller does, and says HAI. HODOR probably winced in pain just by my typing that

• Reflections

King Hippo - September 12, 2016September 11, 2016

70

Yes, football is back and our lives, shitty as they may be, finally feel complete again. Huzzah! Speaking of life, one wonders why philosophers, authors, and poets devote so much time, effort, and ink to describe the futility and meaningless of life when they could just be all like "Look

• Reflections

King Hippo - January 25, 2016January 24, 2016

32

Bear with me, folks. I am REALLY crunk. This has almost happened before. The Hippo Bowl. My favourite team, since I was two years old (the Denver Broncos - it makes no logical sense, but my mom will attest that it is indeed true), and the team that