Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Saturday (2019 Season)

Hey, buck up P*ts fans.  Turns out it really was THEM, not you. ¡Viva El Tractorcito! indeed.  Add a jump-pass TD throw to his growing legend.  Oh, and just a buck-95 plowing fields on the ground.  And while Lamar! will no doubt be unfairly shat upon by the sportsball media (he

Happy P*ts Schadenfreude Day 2020 Hippo Thoughts

Oh my cats, y'all, El Tractorcito y Mas Erotic Smashmouth did it!!! Where to start?  Tanny Fanny had been a revelation ever since taking over the starting job.  ALL the advanced metrics said he was not only good, but GREAT.  Sustainable great. Until he wasn't.  And mein Gott, how he wasn't.  Except for one

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2019 Season

Joyous of joys, we have playoff picture clarity, and got to see each and every team DERP to the finish line (with various degrees of comedia). The early window contained lots and lots of mailing it in.  We will breeze through most of this "action" fairly quickly.  BUT NOT ALL!!! Sean McDermott

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2019 Season

Hippo hopes y'all had a nice weekend.  There was no FITBAW on Saturday, which sucked ass.  Next weekend will be better that way.  Also, I had a killer migraine all day Sunday, which really dampered my enjoyment of Everton taking a nice point at Old Trafford.  It also impacted my

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2019 Season

Despite the very ending of the late window - this was a really great FITBAW Sunday (otherwise).  Let's not let that spoil things! [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of The Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] We had Most Glorious Scorinami [a unique scoring combination never before recorded

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2019 Season

I like to stay away from the super deep thoughts.  Because deep down, comedian Doug Stanhope has it right - the key to life is to not give a shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCGkVyyDOcU When you care, you get fucked over.  Especially in sportsball.  But we can't help it. Lucky #13 held true for some of

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 12, 2019 Season

Welcome to "Cold November Rain" recapping.  The quality of the FITBAW was weather appropriate. [Hippo-To-English subtitles provided by the Church of the Immaculate Deception, Rev. E. Mayhem presiding] Hearty congrats to Rev. Mayhem [Woo!] for winning [WOOOO!] the Derby against me (and Moose, make it snow, Mistborn, etc.). [Suck it, Samwise! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!]

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 11, 2019 Season

Allow me a brief moment to React Reasonably, then we will speak no more of that Donks/Vikes abortion.  In my measured, humble opinion, the entire officiating crew are welcome to have sex with themselves, while their ded grandparents watch, after such time their genitalia shall turn green and fall off.  [The

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 10, 2019 Season

Oh me, oh my - some BANANACAKES stuff went down late, in several locales.  No Donks WOO! = no Hippo stress, just enjoyed the parade. I don't think too many folk would have been surprised by a 26-9 scoreline, but the "9" belonged to Breesus Christ...at HOME against the Falcons?  I