Dear HRTN…

Beastmode Ate My Baby - May 26, 2017May 25, 2017

The scene: The HRTN editor's meeting room. It's a large room with a table and several chairs around it.Covalent Blonde, Old School Zero, Ballsofsteelandfury and Marc Trestmans Windowless Van are sitting around the table, and there are yuuuge stacks of letters strewn about. There are two doors in the room.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 80)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - May 19, 2017May 18, 2017

The scene: The Last Resort resort in Cancun, where a bunch of DFOers are enjoying the sun, the pool and the alcohol. Yeah Right is on a large inflatable lobster with Teddy's BOTW at the edge of the pool in bright flowered swimming trunks. Cookiethulhu and Abraham Lincoln are chatting

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 79)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - May 12, 2017May 11, 2017

The scene: That wasteland known as the Forbidden Zone, where Top Detective and Hard-boiled Detective have arrived at the scene of the carnage from last week's episode. They are currently surrounded by a mob of angry men with mohawks, who are dressed in your typical post-apocalyptic chic. Voiceover Narration (by Top

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 78)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - May 5, 2017May 4, 2017

The scene: Ape City, that bustling hive of simian activity in an undetermined future. Voiceover Narration (by Top Detective): This is the city. Ape City. Every day hundreds of primates walk these streets, climb these walls and swing from these balconies. Every kind of ape from every walk of life is

“It’s All Gone Wrong, Pete & John” – The Seahawks Try To Bolster Their Lines (Part 6): Draft Night (Part 1)

Extra Nerdy

Beerguyrob - May 2, 2017May 2, 2017

Ext. The Seahawks "war room" in Renton, WA. It is draft night, April 27, 2017. Pete Carroll stands over a table full of papers, while John Schneider frantically tries to work a TV remote. John Schneider: Pete, the channel seems to be stuck on ESPN. Pete Carroll: Yup. I took the batteries out of

HRTN Spring Break Special 2017 (Part Deux)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 28, 2017April 28, 2017

The scene: Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Future Moose is silently packing up the Moosemobile, Cookiethulhu is cleaning the windows and Old School Zero looks over a map. In the back seat of the Moosemobile Señor Weaselo lies in a fetal position, occasionally making whimpering sounds. Otto's Brain comes rolling up. Otto's Brain:

HRTN Spring Break Special 2017

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 21, 2017April 21, 2017

The scene: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where the sun is hot, the beers are cold and the bikinis are tiny. The spring break crowd is having a great time, partying it up on the street, when suddenly there's a screeching of tires. The crowd quickly parts, running to safety as the

“It’s All Gone Wrong, Pete & John” – The Seahawks Try To Bolster Their Lines (Part 4)

Extra Nerdy

Beerguyrob - April 19, 2017April 19, 2017

Ext. Dane County Regional Airport, Madison WI. Pete Carroll & John Schneider have just landed after a regional airline flight from Chicago. John Schneider: Dammit Pete, why do we have to keep taking these regional airlines? They never have a proper beverage cart. Pete Carroll: John, as we've discussed, very few state schools

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 77)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 14, 2017April 13, 2017

The scene: The large, if largely unused, dining room in the castle of Death. It's large because, duh, it's in a castle. It's been largely unused since, until very recently the castle has been the domain of a trio of vampires, and a dining room isn't on their list of

“It’s All Gone Wrong, Pete & John” – The Seahawks Try To Bolster Their Lines (Part 3)

Beerguyrob - April 12, 2017April 11, 2017

Ext. Tuscaloosa Regional Airport. Two men, walking out the airport's main exit. Pete Carroll: Now John, do you remember why we came to Alabama? John Schneider: Well, I know why I came to Alabama - the Grand Prix! JS: The question is, Pete, why did you come to Alabama? To head on up to

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 76)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - April 7, 2017April 7, 2017

The scene: The Castle of Death in Chihuahua, Mexico, where the DFOers have been fighting all sorts of... Look, I'm not gonna explain it all here. This is a big episode, and if you haven't been keeping up, all the chapters are here on DFO. Go ahead & catch up, and

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 75)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - March 31, 2017March 30, 2017

The scene: The Castle of Death, in Chihuahua, Mexico, where our band of intrepid DFOers, with the help of a pair of valiant luchadores and, to a lesser extent Wolfman Rob, have over the last several episodes been fighting a trio of vampiric beauties, a horde of zombies, and now