Sunday Methadone Preview – True Detective Returns!

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Good weekend, ladies (yes, PLURAL!!) and gentlemen of DFO.  I write you from the barren hellscape that is North Carolina in the summertime, when I go from “normal recluse” to “mega recluse” mode.  The heat index is goddamned 108 today, and it’s not even summer yet.  FUCK YOU, outside world.

Being of reclusive nature, and hostile to most forms of human interaction, I enjoy books and television.  On this front, summer is also sorely lacking.  I count on f/x to provide me with entertainment that activates my remaining neurons that haven’t been killed with liquor and drugs…and they give us “Tyrant.”  Yes, they brought that flaming bag of monkeyshit back for a second season.  A show so bad that CBS would be ashamed to air it.  Bazinga.

But all is not lost, and for that I thank one Nic Pizzolatto.  Most of you surely came on board for Season One of the masterful 8-episode arc Pizzolatto created for Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey.    Episodes 4 and 5 were perhaps the most suspenseful pieces of dramatic television ever created.  True Detective left the viewer breathless, mind racing, eager for the next week’s installment.  I still don’t understand how anyone could watch live, and go to sleep immediately afterwards.  Watching over coffee after getting the kids off to school, then being worthless at the office (hey, what else is new) was the only way to go for me.

What else to love about Pizzolatto?  He’s a dark-minded Southerner, who sees the world as a lost and brutal place.  I can dig it!  To really get a feel for his artistic sensibilities, you need to read his richly textured, bleak-as-fuck novel “Galveston.”  The beer can men make a cameo!  I found it at my local library, but it’s worth buying on Amazon if it’s not at yours, or if you are just lazy.  Should you enjoy bleak rural Southern character writing like this, I equally and highly recommend the works of Daniel Woodrell.

Sorry, I am taking WAY too long to get to my point.  Without football (or the better methadone of college basketball that gets me through the winter and early spring), summer weekends, and particularly Sundays, are really depressing.  But the clinic window is opening!  True Detective is back for Season Two this Sunday night, with a completely new cast, plot, and location.  In honor of DFO’s launch, Pizzolatto leaves his geographical comfort zone and takes his series to California.  I’m such a believer in his genius that I don’t worry how he will manage to make me not just want to punch Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell in the face for 60-ish minutes each week.  On the other hand, I am really excited to see Rachel McAdams – and not (just) in a lecherous way.  I’ve always thought she could really shine if given a weightier, darker acting role, and Pizzolatto is giving her the chance to prove it.

I apologize for being too stupid/lazy to post a gif of Alexandra Daddario’s boobs, or Woody Harrelson diving face first into her lovely derriere.  But you remember those precious moments.  And in closing, I maintain that Ms. Daddario’s “Oh my God, the President has seen my boobs” declaration remains (and will likely always remain) the one and only good use of Twitter in the history of mankind.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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I liked the part where he beat up his “fat pussy” son’s bully’s Dad. Happy Father’s Day, indeed.


The bird mask, the fucking bird mask.

Old School Zero

My fucking router is DEAD and I may not he able to HBO Now the first episode tomorrow. Shit.

Somebody post Young Men Dead by The Black Angels (the outro music to s1e1).

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I loved loved LOVED season one. Darkest Timeline Kelly Kapowski and I watched it, holding our breath, glancing at each other to see if the other had died of a heart attack, every week. THE TRACKING SHOT (as it will forever be known by me) is one of the most intense things that I have ever seen. Should we Rivebrog this mother Sunday night?


Awesome post! I’m really excited to find someone to steal HBO from so that I can watch this. My buddy with HBO moved to Dallas…


“Oh my God, the President has seen my boobs…”

– every secretary, intern, telephone operator, and female custodian that has ever worked for the Clinton administration


Great stuff Hippo.

If you are a fan of the Southern crime genre, in addition to Woodrell I would also recommend Donald Ray Pollock author of Knockemstiff and The Devil All the Time as well as Frank Bill, author of Donnybrook and Crimes in Southern Indiana.
They will make you never want to visit Indiana or Southern Ohio ever again.

I loved Season one of True Detective.
And I’m a huge H.P Lovecraft fan.


I feel that this belongs in here somewhere.

Horatio Cornblower

Well if we’re doing Grinderman

Covalent Blonde

Um… I think you are missing a bigger picture here. True Detective is for watching episode after episode while your skin crawls off your body and there is enough clear liquor around to let you go to sleep at night.

Tonight is for horrible!

*I fucking meant Sunday….