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KSK Kommenters is proud to introduce our newest contributor: The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons!
SPORTS GUY: Glad to be here, Zach. And a pleasure to meet you after all of these years watching you. I remember the first time I watched Saved By the Bell. It really reminded me of the time I saw the Celtics beat the Lakers in the ’84 championships. You were the Larry Bird, obviously, while Slater was McHale, doing the dirty work. Screech was obviously Dennis Johnson, coming off the bench to microwave the…
DTZM: Let me stop you there, Bill. I’m…not that Zach.
SIMMONS: Wait, what?
DTZM: I’m from another timeline, Bill. Where I’m from, Screech built Kevin the Robot as a merciless killing machine, and enslaved humanity.
SIMMONS: (Speechless)
DTZM: I escaped here through a wormhole created by my time stop powers combining with a hole in space time caused by The Return of Miss Bliss. I could only save myself and Kelly, but things are much nicer here.
SIMMONS: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
DTZM: I know, I’ve read your columns. But this isn’t about me, it’s about you, Bill. How did you leave ESPN? Good terms or…
SIMMONS: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS YOU’RE ZACH MORRIS FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OH MY GOD…
DTZM: OK, let’s get back to the intro. Bill will be writing bi-weekly for us here, and hosting some of his podcasts with cousin…
SIMMONS: CAN I MEET KELLY
DTZM: OK, I can see that this just isn’t going to work out. Hopefully HBO or somebody can take a flier on you. Thanks for coming in, Bill.
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