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Work-related Dick Twister That Happened Today

scotchnaut

/

,

So…

One truck is carrying two different orders for two separate restaurants, called Banana 1 and Banana 2, owned by the same individual.

The owner always places her order from Banana 1.

The owner always places orders for both restaurants.

Banana 1 is located on Cedar Street. Banana 2 is located on Garry Street.

The trucking business has another client on Seegar Street.

The client claims that 15 cases of bacon (part of a larger order) was not dropped at Banana 1.

The driver maintains that he dropped 15 cases of bacon at the business on Seegar Street and then corrects himself and says that, “for sure, I dropped it on Cedar Street”.

The driver has an invoice with a check mark next to the bacon.

The client says that she was the one that checked off the order and there was no bacon delivered.

The client then gets remarkably hostile towards yours truly, insists that she is, “not a happy camper”, and will be taking her business elsewhere.

The client did not take her business elsewhere. Tell me why.

 

/Someone throw in an image of a guy shrugging his shoulders-my son is at some leadership camp and I’m a failure

 

/Edit

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scotchnaut

Ze Answer: The delightfully confrontational business owner placed the bacon order for Banana 2 on Banana 1’s order in error. The following day she was at Banana 2 to receive that order thinking that the bacon would be there.

After multiple conversations with client, driver, freezer guy that put order together, receiver at Banana 1, the business on Seegar Street and my assistant manager I was able to solve this dick twister in 3 and a half hours.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like Brick has found Moose’s Fountain Of Magical Gifs!

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Old School Zero

DFO site stats. I wonder what happened there?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No but seriously; this HAS to be related to some…. event…. or …..

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montythisseemsstrangetome

10 Reasons Why DFO Clicks are OBLITERATING Uproxx

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess a question we have to answer before the weekend is; who’s sister or some guy dressed like their sister is Horatio Cornblower going to bang Saturday night.? This may seem trivial to some, but to Bret Favre and Alex Smith it is HUGE.

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/2/Open/Warner%20Brothers%20Distribution/Movies/Captain%20Horatio%20Hornblower/_derived_jpg_q90_600x800_m0/00209033.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

………..and ……….this is………my…………….

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Some days are just all fucking

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I just need to put my big girl panties on and deal wit’ it.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/1063ac8cd527cc3eacf7fbca093434d0/tumblr_nqv395Ocfp1r6mdwlo1_540.jpg

And how did Mr. Mode’s day go.

*No intended as a slur of people with Italian heritage.

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Smoky, man…there’s a nice haze out there today.

That’s why I’m glad DFO is non-smoking.

http://cdn.gifbay.com/2012/10/smokey_the_bear-4337.gif

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Men, MEN! I am in NYC for work and have been drinking since 6. I need to pee.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And the two women need some warning too. We’ve still got two right?

RIGHT?

http://media.giphy.com/media/cBMzKXcTDUNRm/giphy.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Three, sorry, three, that’s three. I was thinking of how much they get paid for the same work.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the responsibility of DFO for the authority to declare threads open.

But let FUCKWADS everywhere know, however, that a strong, a confident, and a vigilant DFO stands ready tonight to seek an honorable gif party–and stands ready tonight to defend an honored cause–whatever the price, whatever the burden, whatever the sacrifice that duty may require.

However; I DECLARE THIS AN OPEN AND FREE THREAD OF WHICH NO CORPORATION CAN DENY US THE COMMENTERS FROM OUR RIGHTS AS INDIVIDUAL TO MAKE THE MOST VALID AND TERRIBLE PUN DICK JOKES OF WHICH OUR VERY HEART DESIRES!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you beer and sarcasm; helping avoid actual Moose emotions since 1975.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Scotchnaut, for the love of all that is holy, I beg of you, can you please change your avatar? I can’t stand looking at that dickhead PK. May I be so bold as to suggest an alternative?

http://www.bridgetzinn.com/blog/http://bridgetzinn.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/o_canada.jpg

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Lothar of the Hill People

I swear, this is now my favorite-est gif on the internet. I. Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Are we going to get a secret answer to the puzzle like Rikki provides on his?

http://hugelolcdn.com/thumbnail/339787.jpg

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I assume the answer is that the author got fired.

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Porky Prime

Will this be on the actual certification test or is it just a teste question?

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Old School Zero

This is how a porn starts, right?

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Sep

He he, meat distribution and delivery.

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Spanky Datass

“… AND TWENTY DOLLARS FOR A FUCKED UP DUCK!!!!1!!!1!”

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Horatio Cornblower

Because you replied “IF YOU TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING SOUL!!!!!!!”?

That’s my guess anyway.

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scotchnaut

[looks at above comment]

I’ll take, “What does an American thoroughly immersed in his own culture say?” for $600, Alex?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or…. the actions of Andy Dalton.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Things I have said pre-litigation” for $400

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Horatio Cornblower

Hell I’ve said worse during closing arguments.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

People are either closers or hosers.

*Canadian

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Duchess

Owner order for both Banana 1 and 2 meaning that orders for Banana 2 get delivered by Owners own folks. The owners employees mess up and take the bacon to Banana 2.

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scotchnaut

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am fucking steam because of this mystery; how can the architect project manager who’s been there for almost three years on this very project act like he has not been paying attention to the constant meetings, emails, phone conferences, etc. SUDDENLY ACT LIKE HE HAS NOT BEEN PAYING FUCKING ANY ATTENTION??!?

Answer; architect.

Let it go…..

SERENITY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry for the venting.

In a related incident; I showed this before, but it is a pretty damn good beer:

http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/158/123363/

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did the Time Line do something different; the site is loading much faster now!!

So I guess I should too.

http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/great-divide-showdown-rye-ipa/274095/

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I’m actually loading it from the Darkest Internet.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Architects really are a special breed. Everyone talks shit about lawyers, but I’ve met perfectly nice and reasonable lawyers (present company definitively included). I have yet to meet an architect (and I’ve worked with a LOT) that I would like to have a beer with.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know several that are descent people, but those that are real architecty…… are that is my main client base, thank you very much.

It just bangs your balls every step of the way to just do your job.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/e86ff687f0daed399f117d780e78b1e6/tumblr_mqnnfi0VFR1qdlh1io1_250.gif
But I’m not driving a truck in Iraq so my job is really fucking easy. I’m just venting.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I hear you and I know your pain. Here’s a little something to make you feel better:

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Tits: good. Stillers: not so much.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Confused boner?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MUST IMMEDIATELY LOOK AT OLIVIA TOGUE BATHING ANOTHER ACTRESS WHO IS ALSO VERY ATTRACTIVE AND UNOBTAINABLE SO I DON’T AVE TO WORRY ABOUT COMMITMENT!!

http://38.media.tumblr.com/1d68b62552fe14d2c903c8091eb2f069/tumblr_n56n3fIxX21rkqz3ho2_250.gif

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Duchess

Was the driver named Hennimore?

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scotchnaut

Thanks for doing the thing you did.

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Duchess

No problem

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Sep

I am assuming this takes place in a Dystopian Future where PETA and the Vegans have won, yes?

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scotchnaut

THEY’LL NEVER WIN!

/hunkers down behind pork belly barricade

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hopefully they hit that barricade with flame throwers!

Then we can have dippin’ sauce of our choosing.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/d6bc36004712be946cd1b3f525c4c345/tumblr_notapkFLgf1qf9hjno1_1280.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Balls did not read my comment.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Huh? Cleavage?

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Cuntler

Why am I taking the LSAT? The answer is stegosaurus.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Deep-seated masochism?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Serious guess: The client thought she was at the Garry Street restaurant (Banana 2) and told the driver to drop the bacon off at the Cedar Street location. He misheard/misunderstood, thinking she must mean Seegar Street, because they were AT the Cedar Street restaurant. He did so, she complained because no bacon. Once error was explained, she backed off.

Unserious guess: GIMME THE FUCKING KEYS, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER!!!

http://media2.kshb.com/photo/2014/11/30/459764318_10_1417405030143_10177386_ver1.0_640_480.jpg

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scotchnaut

Not quite but you should have a cigar…

https://youtu.be/hMr3KtYUCcI

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Spanky Datass

Oh by the way, you’re gonna have to tell us which banana is pink before I can make an informed answer.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone is Canadian and super nice to each other?

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scotchnaut

But she was very abrasive. If she was a superhero she would be Steel Wool.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe you knowing the consistency of her pubic hair has something to do with this; this is missing information that would make the guess more logical.

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ballsofsteelandfury

So, she is Quebeçois?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How can you “like” a post about 40 times?

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Warthog

Damn you! You have to spring this on me after drinking has already commenced? Can you at least offer a hint? Is the bacon canadian?

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scotchnaut

All I’ll tell you is that I want warthog bacon RIGHT NOW!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sexual innuendo warning; level five.

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scotchnaut

Oh shit.

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Warthog

Back to the smokehouse, er, safe house for me.

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