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Sexy Friday Makes An Entrance
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Hey, look, Brock scored.
Drinking my last can of Red Betty IPA from Central City in Toronto. Don’t bother with this one.
Red Racer is a good one.
I’m refreshing my stomach with a bunch of the Fee Brothers Gin-Barrel Aged Orange Bitters in some soda water. It’s like an old nerve tonic, but without the elephantiasis.
Are there just gin barrels everywhere now? I’d never heard of a gin being aged in barrels until a local distillery did it.
I’ve had aquavit barrel aged stuff, too.
Hot damn. Who makes that?
Norwegians?
Why am I not the least bit surprised that one of the local ads for the Raiders game was for a DUI lawyer?
What, no bail bondsmen?
Seahawks need to get this shit out of their system before the regular season.
They’ve caught the derptheria.
More like the Derpt of Imagination
All the derps.
Bold move by the Broncos not to invite any special teamers to camp.
I just started drinking a Duchesse de Bourgogne Flemish Sour at a Denver bar Cuntler recommended. It’s making me forgive them for not even playing the Broncos game.
Duchesse is fantastic.
Hope it’s good. Which bar?
P.S. I have horrible taste in music but I am usually okay with beer. Cheers.
Started at Euclid Hall, am digging the hell out of the band at Ophelia’s now. Great recs.
Love it. All the ex-brothels. I think we are friends now.
No problem. I’ve got this covered!
Nice tits.
I could drink during this game and still go out later, but I think I’ll sit this one out.
For you IPAters; here is another one:
This is delicious brown ale, a little hoppy, but real balanced, smooth, nice.
Not too sweet like some of the browns
http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/upslope-brown-ale/105653/
Wait that didn’t sound right.
Osweiler just threw the ball away so awkwardly that he’s already taken over Manning’s starting job.
This is the best Super Bowl I’ve seen in two years, go Broncos.
Fooootbawwwwww
Honestly, how does Eli Manning have two rings?
grumblegrumblethatfuckergrumblegrumblewhere’sOliviagrumblegrumble
You think that’s impressive, you should see his NINETEEN participation ribbons.
What happen to the “For the ladies” ending pic..
I’m feeling left out.
http://imgfave-chat-herokuapp-com.global.ssl.fastly.net/image_cache/1350127706770762.jpg
Editorial oversight. I’ve been meaning to include men, but it keeps slipping my mind since these posts are queued quite a while out.
Can’t go wrong with Dan Savage’s husband, Terry Miller:
I mean, SERIOUSLY:
Hoo boy…
Oh, right.
Sorry.
Just watched Thunder Road; this week in Handsome Mother fucker.
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/4e/dc/01/4edc012d7319993f4a384fec3da665b4.jpg
William Smith…manliest of the manly men.
Can I interest you in some underwear posts?
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/wp/index.php/2015/08/08/slutty-saturday-underwear-review-part-deux/
Is this thing still on??
http://41.media.tumblr.com/78b030cddea150c914d39d34fd14f56e/tumblr_nt3jb31RC41qz6f9yo2_r1_500.jpg
Mah Footbaw is over for the evening, but successful sexy Friday is successful. Now I whiskey up and play the vidja games.
Actual almost realz fooballz!
Brock Osweiler looking solid here.
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2014/04/09/god_dead_satan_live.gif
*The side affects may include performance not even resembling this during the season, vomiting and bleeding anus, please consult your liquor store before consuming this Kool-aide.
Please don’t be a reply.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/bc9c328193e7458dc8d54e78b38a41c2/tumblr_npp5mcHPk71svgb0ro3_540.gif
I bet it Ertz to have core muscle surgery.
In case you have not read down through the thread; please be careful for STDs when speculating about intimacies with unattainable women, number two threat to America behind bears.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/41779803513654059f38f6791e089fbc/tumblr_np1ov0FYnE1qzd4nho1_400.gif
OK lady, can I buy you an iced coffee or somesuch?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/4493867f226544e81281594a5147ef18/tumblr_nrl4nlk77j1qemdseo1_1280.jpg
Also a peace offering for my previous comment:
Charlize
GDI! Charlize
Fuck it I give up.
Yeah, it was doing it to me too. You can post a link to the page that hosted the image; that’s what I did. Not sure how wordpress makes the distinction.
Is this an open thread or sexy ladies only? Not that I mind, but Goddamnit EJ.
Open, means open. Plus we have a resemblance of football (organized and televised practices of two teams).
http://31.media.tumblr.com/7dfa54bde4817bd222ddb5ae7e74ff18/tumblr_nsozky6qix1qixedeo4_400.gif
As I’m in a long distance relationship (I swear this is totally different than the time in high school I dated the smoking hot model from Niagra Falls), and I will not see her for 2 weeks, I needed this. Thank you!
By the way, if I make a negative comment about a site that rhymes with Suxcoxx, will I get in trouble with the mods?
Power brother. My wife’s across the country for 8 days helping family. As usual the solution appears to be alcohol and dick jokes.
What, you’re afraid of what these guys are gonna do to you?
But seriously, slag on Uproxx at your leisure.
The moderators here are the vast unwashed and unpaid so the big rule is just don’t be a dick. We kind of want to move on but if you need to vent a little about smucroxx of the smife, feel free.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/9a7bf0127058a4338ef4246f3e51cbe9/tumblr_nlsl6oaWIv1tvos6eo1_1280.jpg
Well put, Moose.
BRONCOS SPECIAL TEAMS! YEAH! WHOOOOOT!**
http://33.media.tumblr.com/9ccac0f89f5b14a8d42772fb39d75bab/tumblr_nsozky6qix1qixedeo5_400.gif
**Needs a life.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/213e8f6667a14aa98c75a4f2fb0c7c98/tumblr_nq7zz2Q9Cx1qfcx4to3_r1_250.gif
Yeah, Tyrannosaurus eRextion.
Sorry, those were not all meant as relies. Something I just can’t get apparently.
Sweeeeeet!
Would anybody like this to be the DFOpen thread?
There is some “games”…………
http://31.media.tumblr.com/c2cf72f445ff5e4a6d247d3ad57bb12e/tumblr_nqfipvlIex1qfb5cjo4_250.gif
Did I Munn you out? Shouldn’t have ……………… inMunndated the thread.
Two offensive series for Mariota. Two completions, one sack, one interception, one fumble returned for a touchdown.
“This seems different than college.”
-Marcus
Seems a lot like his last college game actually.
Since nobody is grilling apparently, what is on the beaverage list tonight.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/66b85c7b4620e4e32959fd8b4bd7c13b/tumblr_nrjuzg8TW21ro8ysbo1_500.gif
MUST REMEMBER TO HIT “CANCEL REPLY”!!!!!!!!!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/516eb97a89f06e6e5fda3f1bfe64fb80/tumblr_mt13kmjq9g1rdfgw4o1_r1_500.gif
You’ll like this one, Moose: Oskar Blues Gubna, one of my favorite DIPAs of all time.
GOD DAMN REPLY FAIL AGAIN,
I’m thinking…
This gif should take over for the flash red cop light gif.
I grilled hot dogs!
My kid does not have an adventurous palate.
His career is over.
We all know that the first preseason game should be called Nostragameus’ because they can tell you exactly what will happen in the future.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/f4cb516d28866fb872f944aa189f8356/tumblr_np3a8nmpoY1sei8eyo1_1280.jpg
This is where we post pictures of chicks, right?
I remember Hot Mariah. I think that makes me old.
I do too. Makes one a little sad, doesn’t it?
Also, doesn’t it enhance Jeter’s legacy that he hit that in her prime?
There is only one image that is truly deserving of that caption.
http://www.gotofree.net/galeri/model/Sung-Hi-Lee/Sung-Hi-Lee-9.jpg
Correction, there is only one SFW image that is worthy of that caption.
There is another, but it is very NSFW.
What?
She OBVIOUSLY already HAS milk!
Two things;
The wide turn:
YOU ARE DRIVING A FUCKING HONDA ASSHOLE, NOT AN EIGHTTEEN WHEEL DOUBLE TRAILER YOU STUPID FUCKWIT.
The landscape maintenance person (fat):
IT IS ONE FUCKING LEAF DIPSHIT; YOU ARE USING A GAS ENGINE LEAF-BLOWER FOR ONE FUCKING LEAF!
Sorry, just, well…..
Brushy, brushy….
I feel a bit better now.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/39816a0c958d6bf1192fcaca23b8bb17/tumblr_nflc6tcbuI1r2ntmlo1_500.gif
I completely agree with both of those points.
No joke. one fall day in my first year in law school we spent 15 minutes of a class looking out the window watching a maintenance guy chase one (1) leaf around the quad. He had a rake and apparently no idea how to use it.
That wasn’t a maintenance guy. That was a 3L who forgot to study for the bar.
NO?!? Fine.
Speaking of lusty Swedes. Elsa Hosk.
You’ve sweated hard all week.
Time for a relaxing break.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/a82ce258426a87321b1d10b92198c253/tumblr_nsd0krBdEW1uq3x5lo1_500.gif
http://38.media.tumblr.com/1a65304d117bc0d0f3399789bb22c4e2/tumblr_nsd0krBdEW1uq3x5lo2_500.gif
It’s Halle Berry’s birthday today, so there’s that.
Her Portrait of Dorian Gray must be a total wreck.
You know what I love? YOU GUYS!
/took a day off
//been drinking since noon [eastern time]
Somebody call Scotch a cab.
/5 people immediately yell “OK, Scotch, you’re a cab!”
//hilarity ensues
Time to update that tumblr address, Marty.
Yeah. I need to make sure nothing get broken.
And eventually get my own domain name like a non-subhuman.
Angelina Jolie looks like the hottest woman who would ever give you an STD.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Ain’t like it hurts at the time.
But it would be a classy STD.
Kate Upton looks like she’d give you the type of STD you can get from touching a dirty toilet seat.
Kate would give you athlete’s foot and a story that you would tell your grandchildren over and over again.
With an awkward grandad boner.
Hers would be the Donald Trump of STDs—the best, classiest, most luxurious STD ever to crawl out of a human cooch.
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