I didn’t have this up in time for the Friday night game (1-nil Manure win over Villa), but Manure wins are boring so who cares, amirite?
Additionally, I have to take one of my kids to a cross country meet Saturday morning (I am writing this post ahead of time), so my DVR will get a Saturday workout – late Friday night NFL with my PeyPey-less Donks heading to Seattle, super-early Saturday Everton visit to Sill’s Southampton Saints.
Everton desperately need three points on the road against a solid, progressive side…and that very rarely works out well for the Toffees. We shall see if the universe decides if it would rather piss on Sill’s leg instead.
Elswhere in the League, top of the table titans Leicester and West Ham clash, and Arsenal look to climb out of the relegation zone, but face a tough task in high flying Crystal Palace. Relying on the standings after 1 week is shit tons of fun. City and Chelski will be more traditionally interesting, come Sunday.
Haha, City is pouring it on.
The Chelsea equipment staff better watch out, Jose going to fire someone.
2nd half is kind of dull. Counting the minutes until the Chip Kelly/Nacho shitshow now
I want one of those chairs the bench players and coaches, (sorry, “managers”), use during the games, (sorry, “matches”); they look super-comfortable, (super-“effervescent”).
/One of the announcers actually used “effervescent” when describing a play during the Arsenal-CP match earlier.
Chelsea players are taking a beating.
I would be quite happy for City to come into Goodison riding high next Sunday, feeling invincible. Having a key player or two facing suspension would also be fine with teh Hippo.
Fox Sports has Bundesliga games.
Try and name a more Nazi-sounding league. YOU CAN’T!!
Palace equalizes. Good pqce to this ome.
Ha Arsenal’s blown two chances to score.
I started watching and they score, naturally. COME ON, Palace…
Mourinho is such a bitch. You have the one hot female staff member in the entire league and you throw her under the bus when your team is shit?
What a prick!
Palace vs. gunners followed be a good one Man City-Chelsea.
What will cause Mourinho throw a shit fit at today?
anything and everything. down a goal now, WOO!!!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/4e591c00701549c8b96d3da51625a33e/tumblr_norh77aT6i1qigfjto1_r1_400.gif
LIFE HAXXOR: Do you like those pre-bottled frappicino things? Just combine homemade cold press coffee with chocolate milk. BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS!
Only if you Irished up at coffee.
Dat*
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/080/733/dat-ass-4374-1261079704-107.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltldklAkld1r1cia2o1_250.gif
You rang?
http://images.sodahead.com/polls/003546933/102194081_BatmanSpank_xlarge.jpeg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/3a2b34e5a3d477f3f45813e09c2c68f4/tumblr_mgz77pS4qz1qesseao1_1280.jpg
I like Aston Villa because their jersey colo(u)r is “claret” which seems classy as fuck. Also, I like Swansea because Welsh spelling is fun (or as the Welsh would spell it “fyylyymhhulhnun”).
Also, to my LA brethren, my deepest apologies, but I cannot attend today’s heatstroke watch. I PROMISE that next time I won’t be such a pussy. Godspeed, and go get a goddamn pastrami sandwich.
http://i.imgur.com/QT3ArEq.jpg
Damn. It’s going to run up to 95 degrees today. That’s a bit too high for this neck of the woods.
We’re supposed to get to low 80’s. On the beach! I hear it’s in the low 100’s downtown. Should be a scorcher for the LA get together.
That’s alright. There is air conditioning and beer.
C’mon everybody. Let’s get some pastrami!
Good news though…it’s only supposed to be 100 today, whereas it’s supposed to be 101 tomorrow. Today will be a breeze comparatively!
If nothing make me want pastrami, it’s this sweet heat wave! Hear! Hear! For pastrami!
Went hiking at 6am. Today’s low is 89 — so it was probably 95 when we started.
I’m now hanging out inside because, embrace the heat or not, it’s still fucking draining at hell.
http://www.google.org/publicalerts/alert?aid=c4bc57f1ac38e41a&hl=en&gl=US&source=web
SoCal AND Ontario having shittier summer weather than NC. Some weird fucking shit going down in 2015.
West Ham goalkeeper was red carded after getting a point in a karate spar with a LC player.
Question of the Day: Is Sakho elite?
God damn. I’ll stop complaining now.
Damn, stoke came back from down 2.
Not typical Stoke behaviour, but very classic Spurs.
The fuck? It was 2-0 when I left the house ten minutes ago to drop my daughter at her friend’s house.
No clue, I was watching Lester ,, smgdh
Of course, in true British weirdo fashion, Leicester is pronounced “LES-ter”
I just love Lestershire Sauce
Looks like Montero has a bright future.
Did something jizz on that guy’s head?
“He tried one of them dirty Jap plays and got what he deserved.” –B. Parcells
Looks like maybe a circle jerk of giants was involved.
An angry Swan?
West Ham not out of it.
Another goal for the Swansea.
Swans putting it to the short-handed Barcodes now. And fucking Leicester is on fire.
Did a bird take a dump on that Asian Leicester City player’s head?
Not nearly as much diving as I expected…
https://youtu.be/PbVb6y4HHT8
Cocks…uh I mean Spurs.
HOTSPUR ACTION
“I wouldn’t call it ‘hot’ exactly…”
– Amy Duncan
If you have cable (at least my TWC does), you probably have 3-5 “bonus” channels carrying NBC “Extra Time” feeds in HD. Channels 420-424 for me, Swans/Barcodes on 420.
Swan on motherfuckers
http://i.imgur.com/aXVt3yt.gif
Holy hell. I thought geese were evil.
I like to think the Newcastle team is drinking Newcastle Brown Ale instead of sports drinks.
“Sports drinks are for tossers!”
/not sure what a ‘tosser’ is
tosser is British for jerkoff
/interchangeable with wanker
That’s the exact reason why I’ve always liked them.
You can more freely use the word “cunt” as well, so go crazy, cunt.
When Everton has their shit together and play stays open, it can be sexy as fuck (like today). I will hold onto this DVR for awhile, methinks.
Even without the goal, the last 30 minutes of the match were absolute perfection. Crushed the Saints’ souls.
Lukaku obviously the star, but huge credit to 19-year old Brendan Galloway, starting at left back due to Leighton Baines’ injury. He’s basically our utility defender (c0-2nd choice LB Bryan Oviedo isn’t fully match fit, and the other was sent out on loan before Bainesy got hurt), and LB is the equivalent of SS. To go out on the road against a progressive, attacking side like Soton and boss all over the pitch is damned impressive.
More soccer magic coming at the top of the hour-Swansea City vs. Newcastle United.
SWANSEA!!!!11!
But they are not appearing on my TeeVee box. Sad.
Wait, is that coach’s name really Dick Advocate?
Probably big in the MRA movement.
I’m a dick joke advocate.
So is the Barkley guy nicknamed “Barky” or “Barker”? Is every league as lazy with their nicknaming as the NHL?
/Patrick Kane’s nickname is “Kaner” when in fact it should be “Sociopath”.
“Alleged Rapist Patrick Kane”, forcing his way into an arena near you this season!
Is Barkley that dog on the sidelines?
Well, he can do what he wants, it IS his league after all.
“Enforcer? Well, I hardly know her, but sure!”
– Patrick Kane
This joke would not play very well in Chicago right now, but I LOL’d.
Got here late but it looks like the universe has decided to piss all over Sill’s leg.
Sorry Sill.
Hippo should be happy or at least slightly less angry today.
http://media.giphy.com/media/1ykZE1mlGZCCs/giphy.gif
I legitimately thought there was a dog running along the sidelines.
/am S-M-R-T
That fooled me last week the first time it showed up.
Hmmm…thought Pelle was a lot older. And darker.
Wrong Pele.
Are you telling me that the guy who debuted for Brazil in 1958 isn’t still playing? Sounds like a slacker to me.
/I watch every World and Euro Cup but don’t watch any leagues at all
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TixdcNpcacQ
Copa América. The class of Europe, playing gor country, and the contempt runs deep. And they just murder each other.
What I don’t know about the EPL could fit inside the Carrier Dome but I’ll give this Everton/Southhampton tilt a whirl.
/what’s for brekkie?
Southhampton’s sinking faster than the Titanic.
Everton countered the fuck out of Southhampton.
Everton is wearing drab green uniforms for some reason.
It’s 06:04 (EST) and I’ve been drinking since 22:30? What’s this about “football”?
http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.13635881.0848/fc,550×550,cranberry.u2.jpg
MOAR booze and it will make sense! Just call everyone a diving cunt and enjoy. Also, troll Sill’s side. Yinzer slap fight!