Last year: 11–5, second place in NFC West (Lost in Wild Card to 7-8-1 Carolina Panthers)

Departures: Todd Bowles, Bay Area Troll Darnell Dockett, Larry Foote, Lyle Sendlein (March, 2015), Antonio Cromartie

Acquisitions: Lady Coach Jen Welter, Jermaine Gresham, Mike Iupati, Lyle Sendlein (August, 2015), Sean Weatherspoon

Restricted Free Agents not tendered an offer Picked Up By New England: Ryan Lindley

Players in perpetual unofficial suspension: Daryl Washington

Players in Temporary Suspension: Bobby Massie

Biggest offseason storyline: Emergence of Michael Floyd

Michael Floyd Status: Broken hand. Out 6 weeks.

Vegas 2014 win total over/under: 8.5 wins

Verdict: UNDER

The first two-thirds of 2014 was a pleasant surprise for Buzzsaw fans. Picking up on their end-of-2013 momentum, Arizona was 9-1 before Carson Palmer and Drew Stanton were both lost to season-ending injuries. I drank through December and then Ryan Lindley put me out of my misery with the worst non-Delhomme playoff start in Cardinals-Panthers playoff history. Afterwards, I sobered up and spent the next four weeks posting to every corner of the internet about how the “Still the Class of the NFL Seahawks” biggest play of the season was Palmer going down for the season.

The offseason losses occurred quickly — Bowles and Cro went to NYJ while Dockett jumped ship to the division rival 49ers — and, after that, it’s mostly been waiting. Can’t argue when Steve Keim and Bruce Arians were 2014 Executive of the Year and Coach of the Year — but their non-sexy approach to FA made Phoenix-area offseason sports talk even more Ballghazi heavy than it needed to be (enjoy being on the field nonstop, Brian Orakpo).

Here’s the current status of Buzzsaw fandom — Little Brother Complex. As the Diamondbacks approach their third consecutive .500 season, the Suns maintain their status as the Early-90’s Phoenix Cardinals of Basketball, and the city of Glendale votes to kick the Coyotes out of the hockey arena, all attention is on the Cardinals (also our schools are last in the nation and we have people actually gearing up to stop marijuana legalization). With the 49ers imploding, Seattle finally having to deal with salary cap issues, and the Rams extending Nick Foles through their move to Los Angeles, the Cardinals have to be a legit threat, right?  With that, I give you:

Geico Presents the 2015 Subway Arizona Cardinals Ace Hardware Locksmith Union #429 Keys to Microsoft Surface Presents the NFL Season Brought to you by Skyla.

1) Roster: This is probably the best roster Arizona has had. Ever. Not saying a lot, obviously, but the 2008 team had a lot of holes (especially the ones in the O Line) covered up by Kurt Warner. Now, adding Iuppati to Jared Veldheer gives Arians the offensive line strength that he was sorely lacking in 2013 & 2014 to establish a threatening rushing attack (Arizona’s first 100 yard rusher didn’t come until 12/7 last year when Kerwynn Williams took 19 carries to reach a flat century against Kansas City) which opens up, as we all know from being NFL fans/masochists, the play action game. All the cliches and facts about Carson Palmer aside, he’s a serviceable quarterback and, when protected, flourishes in the Bruce Arians system. Keim has added RB depth to support Andre Ellington and a real live tight end in Jermaine Gresham. The offense doesn’t have to score 40+ a game but there is no more excuses for being bottom third in offense and 31st in rushing.

The defense is still stacked (Dockett was a loss this year but he was hurt all last season so…well, now that’s he’s jumped ship to the 49ers…fuck that dude) but it’s no secret that Todd Bowles’ scheming was a huge part of the team’s success. Plus non-stop blitzing is always fun to watch. How James Bettcher manages the defense will be interesting to watch.

http://www.azcardinals.com/videos/videos/Introducing-Defensive-Coordinator-James-Bettcher/819762c8-4e72-417a-b596-88f73786fdbc

2) Injuries: In addition to losing QBs 1&2; Ellington, Fitzgerald, Patrick Peterson, PETA-Activist Tyrann Matheiu, and Calais Campbell all had injury issues last year. In the last six weeks, this was the difference between an NFC West championship and 1 or 2 seed — and reality. 2015 camp has already broken Michael Floyd’s hand and, though reports are that everyone else healed up in the offseason, that is never the case. Depth is still an issue — especially in terms of making the defensive scheming work — and Arizona cannot afford to have Patrick Peterson give up nearly 200 yards after talking shit about Julio Jones.

3) Schedule: Per CBS Sports, the NFC West holds the third through sixth most difficult 2015 schedules (SF, SEA, ARI, STL). If this team isn’t 3-1 and clicking through the first month of the season — during which they will be playing with backups as 2/5 of their offensive line — 8.5 wins is a pipe dream. There isn’t a gimmie on the schedule (Week 2 at Chicago, Week 8 at Browns, and short-Week 14 TNF hosting Minnesota four days after they face Seattle would be my suicide picks) for anyone in the West. The team is great but the competition is brutal and I fully expect Super Bowl XXXXX to be a rematch game.

Prediction: Stick Arizona in the South and it’s three-straight 10-win seasons. As is, I think you’re seeing the end of NFC West statistical dominance as, whoever gets out of this season alive, is going to do so with blemishes. Mark my words, ESPN Stats and Information is going to headline a week where three NFC West teams lose and ask if 7-9 is going to take the division again. But being a Buzzsaw fan who knows all too well what this team could possibly accomplish, I wholeheartedly expect injuries and scheduling to tear down this team, leaving Seattle as the only West playoff representative and Cardinals fans just dealing with it as Fake College Stadium prepares to host a College Football Playoff semifinal game in January.

Oh Wait! We got Chris Johnson on a one-year deal? 10-5-1 and a Super Bowl Championship!