All roads lead to L.A.

sunrisesunrise

International Admissions at San Diego State University
Relatively new father for 2nd time in eastern San Diego. Ex-Charger fan. Padres apologist. Aztec football season ticket holder. New supporter of ‘Roos footy. I like beer.

Latest posts by sunrisesunrise (see all)

I was too young to appreciate the Air Coryell days with Fouts, Alworth, Winslow, Joiner and Jefferson. I did however get to watch Stan Humphries and Natrone Means lead the Chargers to Super Bowl defeat against the juggernaut that was the 1994 49ers. I had the pleasure of then watching Ryan Leaf and Craig Whelihan in the Mike Riley/June Jones/Kevin Gilbride years. I vaguely remember watching John Carney kick a game winning field goal against the Chiefs in what would be their lone victory of the season. (I got blackout drunk because I was so happy after watching 11 consecutive losses.) I watched the best years of LT get wasted because Schottenheimer had no idea how to coach a playoff game. And then there was Norv. To cap it off ownership has been actively attempting to relocate to Los Angeles for over a year now.

Look, they already have a logo.

I am a jaded fan at this point.

 

Welcome to the final season of Charger football in San Diego. Catch the hot NFC AFC West action with the Los Angeles Chargers of Southern California next year at the Rose Bowl, StubHub Center (where they are almost guaranteed to sell out) the Coliseum? Angel Stadium? Dodger Stadium? Um, does CSU Dominguez Hills have a stadium?

On to this year’s iteration.

 

Philip Rivers.

Float Mode Engage

Everyone here is familiar with him. Management wants a long term deal for him but he won’t negotiate signed him to a four-year, $83.25 million contract extension that included $65 million in guaranteed money. Oh and there is a no trade clause because that apparently means something in the NFL.

If the offensive line holds up, and that is a big if, Rivers may survive to the end of that contract. But the names of King “in name only” Dunlap, Orlando Franklin, Chris “No, I’m not related to JJ” Watt, Johnnie Troutman, D.J. Fluker do not inspire confidence. If they fail to protect ol’ Laserface, Kellen Clemens is next to go down. Although he’s probably more mobile than Rivers.*

Ryan Mathews was allowed to walk and surprisingly did not get hurt on his way to free agency. First round draft pick Melvin Gordon is the featured back in the offense.

Mathews would be out 10 weeks after attempting this. No idea what is happening in the background.

The lunch pail carrier that is Danny Woodhead returns from injury to show everyone in Los Angeles Southern California San Diego what it means to be gritty. Branden Oliver is still around. And apparently “God Dammit” Donald Brown is too. How could I forget.

Antonio Gates is suspended for 4 games. Maybe now Ladarius Green can actually be utilized after being heavily touted as a fantasy sleeper last year and I used a higher than it should have been draft pick on him. Moving on, Green has speed but beyond that he is an unknown. What he is not is a former basketball player. Did you know Antonio Gates used to play basketball? There is your daily nugget. Tell your friends.

That’s how you get open looks.

The uninspiring WR corps: Keenan Allen (coming off collarbone injury), Malcolm Floyd (retiring at end of season), Stevie Johnson (God hates him), Jacoby Jones (is a KR), Austin Pettis (ineffective), Dontrelle Inman (Tony Dungy thinks his last name is a distraction).

 

*The only person less mobile than Rivers is Peyton but he’s a robot so it doesn’t count.

 

On the other side of the ball.

This is something you can buy. SMDH.

The defensive line is underwhelming. None of them pressure the quarterback and they are below average at stopping the run. Cory Liuget was signed to a contract extension after a team leading 4.5 sack performance. Four and a half!?

The starting linebackers are Melvin Ingram, Donald Butler, Manti Te’o and Jeremiah Attaochu. Ingram is going into his 4th year and trying to avoid being labeled a bust. This is how the Chargers got Butler per Pro Football Reference:

April 23, 2010: Traded by 49ers as 2010 3rd round pick (79th overall) to Chargers for 2010 3rd round pick (91st overall, NaVorro Bowman),   2010 6th round pick (173rd overall, Anthony Dixon) and 2011 4th round pick (115th overall, Kendall Hunter)

An All-Pro linebacker, a man willing to answer to the name Boobie and a mediocre backup running back. The Chargers lost on that deal.

Manti Te’o is a joke. Attao-who is listed as a starter after having 10 total tackles last year. His back up, Cordarro Law, had 9. At least Dwight Freeney isn’t there anymore.

The secondary is actually good in a bend but don’t break kind of way. Brandon Flowers re-signed and Jason Verrett showed promise last year. Eric Weddle is an All-Pro football player and beard grower.

The civilized member of the Wyatt family.

And yet management wants nothing to do with negotiating a long term deal with him. Go figure, re-sign Liuget and Butler but let’s let the All-Pro safety hit free agency. It’s going to be like Rodney Harrison all over again. And Jahleel Addae is the other safety.

 

“Special” teams.

Nick Novak is competing against Josh Lambo

Apparently, doesn’t have the leg that Lambo does.

 

He played the other football too.

Scifres is still the punter.

Not quite a Rosencopter.

 

Best names among those sure to be cut: Dreamius Smith, Eric Frohnapfel, Chas Alecxih, Chi Chi Ariguzo, Nick Dzubnar, Forrestal Hickman, Josh Lambo.

 

 

Notable games:

Sept 27 at Vikings: Adrian Peterson will probably set the single game rushing record.

Oct 12 vs Steelers: Gates returns to action; Green becomes obsolete again.

Nov 1 at Ravens: The Spanos’ may try to talk Bisciotti about whether he knows how to Modell a city. Also, Ray Lewis is being honored.

Nov 29 at Jaguars: Likely the last winnable game on the schedule.

Dec 20 vs Dolphins: Last Charger home game at Jack Murphy Qualcomm Stadium. Chargers lose by double digits.

Jan 3 at Broncos: Brock Osweiler will show Denver that they are in good hands by throwing for 450 yds and 4 TDs as Pey-Pey rests for another early playoff exit

 

Vegas sportsbooks have the O/U at 8. If I were a gambling man (or if I make it to Vegas before the season starts), I would take the under. It’s not that I want to watch them lose. I just want the people of LA to say to the Spanos family, “Fuck off! We don’t pay to watch losers (except the Lakers).”

Final prediction:

5-11.

Enjoy Los Angeles.

sunrisesunrise
Relatively new father for 2nd time in eastern San Diego. Ex-Charger fan. Padres apologist. Aztec football season ticket holder. New supporter of 'Roos footy. I like beer.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Um, thanks but no thanks!

– Los Angeles

WhyEaglesWhy

So much of this reminds me of how Eagles fans talk. Especially the crepe-hanging. I have them fighting for a playoff spot!

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Red Zone is free for everyone tonight!

Beerguyrob

So, in review:

– Stan Humphries: started one Super Bowl; never going to the Hall of Fame
– Dan Fouts: started no Super Bowls; enshrined in the Hall of Fame
– Philip Rivers: will never start a Super Bowl; will be elected to the Hall of Fame

Those are the hallmarks of only the loftiest of franchises.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So you’d put Trent Dilfer in?

Beerguyrob

If it kept him off the air…maybe.

laserguru

Nice job!
I will never not call that stadium Jack Murphy. It’s ingrained.

And CSDH plays at Stubhub.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

I got a little Dreamius after my encounter with Darren Sharper, but the civil case is still in Lambo since the tox screen for Frohnapfel was… inconclusive.
/Tox screen performed by Stephen J. Gould.
//The J. stands for Jay!?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“To cap it off ownership has been actively attempting to relocate to Los Angeles for over a year now.”

It feels like it’s been ten years, but who’s counting?*

*Other than the literal embodiment of an adult-sized spoiled child that is Dean Spanos.

jjfozz

Is there anyway you could keep Bolt Man from haunting my nightmares?

SonOfSpam

They just signed a deal to play the 2016 season at UC Irvine’s football stadium.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Subtle.

nomonkeyfun

5-11, is that how many kids Marmalard’s wife will give birth to this season?

/Goodell delenda est

Wakezilla

“Kids 5-11? I’m listening. . .”

-Jared Foggle–

blordinaryfagicmox
blordinaryfagicmox

“Kids #5-11? I think there’s a Deangelo in there somewhere…”
-Antonio Cromartie

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

5-11? HUH? WHAT, HUH? FUCK YOU!

/obligatory

Horatio Cornblower

I have Phillip Rivers and Antonio Gates on my FF team so don’t forget both of them should be crippled by Week 6.

King Hippo

I like the upbeat despair. It has a lovely cadence.

Enrico Pallazzo

You’ve got to be looking forward to Antonio Gates only being a game-time decision due to a toe injury for 12 games as opposed to 16.