Nine Circles of Leasts – Preseason Week 3

I apologize for the tardiness. I forgot to plug-in my phone and overslept.


First Circle (Limbo)
– Randall Cobb’s shoulder – As a Bears fan I wish Cobb a long… very long slow recovery. I would like to remind him that his health is more important than trying to rush back and play week 1.

Second Circle (Lust) – Jessica McCloughan, Wife of [*Redacted] s alcoholic GM Scot “Sure, I like to drink, but I’m not an alcoholic” McCloughan –  I usually have to find some weird way to justify the Lust ranking, however, Mrs McCloughan had a lovely interaction with ESPN’s Dianna Russini calling Dianna her husband’s new “Side Piece” and asked her how many “BJ’s” it took for her (Dianna) to get her latest scoop.

Third Circle (Gluttony) – Devin Hester – Look Devin you are not here for saying Matt Ryan is a different leader than Cutler. You are on here for making yourself look like an idiot in your ramblings. Devin Hester is the greatest return man in history and watching him run back the opening kickoff in the Super Bowl was the highlight of that season for me. However, Devin you are a 10-year veteran and you still do not know how to play WR. Then you get upset by saying “Matt Ryan will try to tell me to run a route better and help me fix some things, while Cutler would just not throw to me, that’s why I chose not play WR my last few years with the team.” Dude, seriously? You ran sloppy routes and dropped passes left and right. That was your knock in college and the knock on you in the pros is you never grasped a playbook. You and RGIII need some kind of group counseling on how to take responsibilities of your own short-comings.

Fourth Circle (Greed) – Buffalo Bills – Cutting Fred Jackson was a finacial decision through and through and it was handled in a way that is kind of unforgivable. The man meant a lot to the team and to the City and that kind of decision needed more attention than say cutting Matt Cassell did. The Team didn’t try to break the news to him gently, because the coaching staff didn’t know about the decision. GM Whaley told the owners he was going to do it and then he did it.

Fifth Circle (Anger) – Tom Brady – Brady has apparently been such a Grumpy Gus these past few months that Gisele Bundchen has threatened a divorce if he didn’t get his head out of his ass. Probably didn’t help all the tabloids about his private jet-setting with  Batman and his ex-nanny.

Sixth Circle (Heresy) – RGIII – Not a great week for [*Redacted] s on social media. RGIII hearted a photo of him by a fan which had a note that was 95% complimenting him and 5% throwing shade at the team. So of course the media jumps all over it. That is not why he is here. He is here for his follow-up claiming a social media intern hearted the photo and he had no connection to it. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Seventh Circle (Violence) – Steve Smith and Chris Culliver –  Somewhere someone has probably written that the fight between the two which lead to the preseason ejection of Steve Smith as just a way to leave the game early.

Eight Circle (Fraud) – Concussions the fictional movie based on Frontline: League of Deception. – If you want to watch a movie about a hard-hitting subject matter watch the Frontline special. You will soon realize why Goodell has a place permanently in the ninth circle. Don’t go watch Will Smith with a goofy accent watching over his shoulder like he was being followed around by the nefarious NFL. The movie is getting some criticism because emails leaked about Sony was scared to make the NFL look too bad. I odn’t know why maybe they were scared that the NFL would pull Sunday Ticket off of Playstaion 3 and 4. On a side note am I the only person surprised Will Smith’s wife in the movie is not played by Margot Robbie in black face?

Ninth Circle (Treachery) – Goodell. So Brady is free. However, not because Brady is innocent, but due to the technicality that the NFL messed up the handling of the issue the judge from the start basically said this was going to happen if they force him to make the ruling so what was the best the NFL could do to try to settle this matter ” 3 Game suspension and Brady admits guilt. What kind of counter is that?

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Sill Bimmons

Red Zone is free for everyone tonight!

Don T

I don’t recall a single teammate sticking up for RGIII since that Shanahan press conference in which he admitted he did not tell the truth all the time and assured getting his golden parachute from Snyder.
Huh, a run-on sentence on RGIII; I deserve a Pulitzer.
Love–LOVE–the circles posts. +10000

ballsofsteelandfury

I do love these posts too!

WCS

“Was (RGIII) raised by Gatorade brand managers or something? What is WRONG with this man?!”

— BDD, 2015 Why Your Team Sucks, Washington [*Redacted] s

Lothar of the Hill People

I want to like RGIII. I think he walked into a shit-show, paid for it with his knee, and rushed back into a new shit-show.

But damned if he isn’t trying to take out the other knee by shooting himself in the foot. You’ve been benched for KIRK FUCKING COUSINS by a crappy coach and a crappy owner. You get to be mad. There is nothing wrong “liking” a post on Instagram. It’s not going to cost you endorsements. Fuck the media with their narrative about you being selfish. You’re being paid for playing a game that chews up and spits out the bodies of men in peak condition. The average career is less than, what, 3 years? NEWS FLASH: You get to be selfish. Fuck the media.

Stand up for yourself and stop fucking apologizing for saying stuff that isn’t wrong in the first place.

And then demand a trade to anywhere else. Even the fucking Raiders would be better for you. Washington is a joke.

whorootbeerdatbe

You’re right, but go fuck yourself.

–RGIII

Enrico Pallazzo

3 of the 9 circles are [*Redacted] s related! Now that is a #[*Redacted] sFact that I can get behind! HAIL!

Enrico Pallazzo

Some say week…I might counter with 24 years.

Beerguyrob

It must be because of all the blowjobs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Am I the only one who generally finds it funny to hear a woman say the word “blowjob”?

I am? Ah well. I guess maybe I’m trying to compensate so that at least *some* of the laughter I hear in the bedroom is my own.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The only time it is not funny is if it follows “Do you want a ………..”

http://33.media.tumblr.com/94e8b0b9370b4b76406bb8905f8b6afd/tumblr_nn7kv1NwRA1qdk4doo8_250.gif

jjfozz

Tenth Circle: Comcast.

whorootbeerdatbe

Wait a couple of weeks until the inevitable happens, and the Jets trade for RGIII.

sunrisesunrise

There is still time to go back and edit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So you’re basically giving us an advance preview of the NFL highlights reel for Week 1?

Senor Weaselo

No, the entire highlights reel will be Ballghazi fallout.