That was a great day, wasn’t it? Remember when that guy scored? I didn’t think it would happen. But that guy that got injured-that was a bad break. But at least the home team won, right? And the cheerleaders, oh the cheerleaders! That rookie is going to be something special, isn’t he? But that vet-I thought he was going to be okay but it’s obvious the years have taken their toll. And that team that is 1-0? Who could have seen that coming? So much to discuss at the water cooler tomorrow!
NYG vs Dal: Hey Romo, here’s your early Xmas present-Giants starting safeties Brandon Collins (a rookie) and Cooper Taylor ( I assume he is a developmentally-challenged hobo that hides in a shopping cart when on the sidelines). If the Cowboys D falters a bit we may get a shoot-out but the talent levels between these teams is significant. Eli likes turtles.
Eli just lost this game
FUCK YOU COUGHLIN YOU FUCKING IDIOT
http://img.pandawhale.com/50246-soooo-youre-telling-me-theres-P7Ga.jpeg
http://www.webtalentmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/a-chance.jpeg
Pray for Romo.
No
No
No
This is the kind of game I love. I dislike both teams, and no matter who wins, its to the other team’s stupid ass decision making.
Giants FG:
http://41.media.tumblr.com/cf58fdc8b62f4d13c803afa3fd313460/tumblr_np9nywti7t1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
That’s the way to win it.
My mom told me to be careful, so I didn’t want to get hit by that big man. I threw the ball away so he would stop chasing me…
-eli
Field goals for the field goal gods!
Why didn’t they go for it?
More fun, this shit? Or a safety?
Onside kick!!!
Who are you, Pete Carroll?
Take a knee, don;t throw it away!! FUCKING DUMB ASSHOLES!!!!
They don’t teach that shit till middle school.
Nothing to do with this thread, but I live in Indiana and MAH BILLS won em shits! I’m day drunk and whiskey bent! (Everyone here wants to murder me, send help.)
Just lightly jog away from them. The gravy runs thick in their arteries.
I am ALSO 65% gravy… I’m from here… I’ve made poor decisions.
“OH FIDDLESTICKS!”
— Elisha
If you’re Eli there, why not just lie down and take the sack? Let the clock keep running.
Eli is not the sharpest crayon in the box.
Go for it!
SLIDE STUPID OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING DOPE
Nice catch, camera guy.
I truly hope Romo tries throwing it to Dez on the next drive.
In the locker room?
To be fair, there’s no defender on him.
Eli has looked like a poised seasoned veteran tonight…. more proof that CERN has fucked up our timeline and put us in an alternate universe
Great. Now I’ll have that fucking song in my head again
Yes Cris, Tom Coughlin caused all those Cowboys turnovers that led to 17 of the Giants 23 points.
You’re a fucking genius Cris.
I may have mentioned my opinion on this before, but HAHAHA FUCK DALLAS.
Wait, are you saying you are not a fan of America’s Team?!
I have no opinions on shows from the 1980s
I like how this is going for Cowboys fans.
THIS GUY ELI MANNING I CALL HIM LEE HARVEY OSWALD BECAUSE HE’S SLINGING BULLETS AT EVERYONE’S HEAD IN DALLAS
Quick Commentist Party Poll:
You have a one-way time travel ticket. You’ll be returned to your time as soon as you’re completed your objective, but not before. Do you:
1. Go back to the 1940s to kill Hitler, or
2. Go back to the 1980s to kill Reagan and impress Jodie Foster
3. Go back to January and fire Brandon Bostick into the sun
Are those my only two choices?
I guess not, but I can’t think of anything more noble than preventing the Holocaust or impressing Jodie Foster.
I would just fuck with history majors and future archaeologists by making subtle changes in historical documents
That’s legit. I’ll accept that.
I would suggest that one account for the fact that Jodie Foster is gay…
Kill Reagan. It will do less damage to the time stream. At that point, Reagan was fucking brain dead and just a figure head. Depending on when you kill Hitler, Germany remains a Fascist state and is replaced by someone like Himmler…whereas Reagan, you get Bush Sr.
I’m also of the opinion that the only reason that the world wasn’t destroyed in a nuclear holocaust is because the atomic bomb was deployed exactly when it was. So…I’m very cautious about fucking with the WWII timeline, as fucking horrible as that is from a moral standpoint.
But you’re stipulating that Jodie Foster WILL be impressed?
Why wouldn’t she be? You’ve killed Reagan, after all.
Man, that’s taking the other team’s starting SS!
Kill reagan. Not even a question.
RUN IT IN
Welp….
By the way, everyone thank Chris for all the work he’s done to get this site up and running and keeping it efficient throughout the first weekend.
You can send me any money you want to send him and I’ll make sure he gets it.
Thanks, Chris!
You’re the new and improved Ape. You’re the Caesar to the Commentrists.
D’aw thanks guys! I’m just glad it all works. Sort of. MAYBE. I do work for whiskey and donuts in case you’re interested…
OBJ just showing the ref how he swipes left…
I gotta wake up at 5 am, I should probably stop drinking. And I should also probably stop dancing around naked. Eh.
NEVER!
More dancing will make you tired. Keep on til the end.
I subscribe to the school of thought that it doesn’t matter how early you go to sleep, 5 am sucks.
This is true.
Giants: Stop playing like this and just fucking score!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/3d29a8802503791afac8c7a0309ea6a3/tumblr_nnq7ub9Ycy1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
Does Blindspot make it past 5 episodes?
Beats me. Blacklist looked retarded, and it’s the most popular show on Netflix.
It will make it 8 episodes, long enough to find some kind of fuckwit audience that will complain about its cancellation loud enough for everyone to have to deal with it.
Have you been to Sesame Streeeeeet…….
http://40.media.tumblr.com/629c43494b10f5f44eef1cce485cdcdf/tumblr_niuz5bHjqg1r6mdwlo1_500.jpg
NOT FUCKING OBVIOUS OR LIKELY CASH HOARDING FUCKWITS
This fucking game
The clock SCHTOPS Al…. how much have you been drinking?
Too much SCHNAPPS TO SCHTOP
AINT NO PAHTY LIKE A SCHNAPPY PAHTY CAUSE A SCHNAPPY PAHTY DONT SCHTOP
I’m telling you, he sounds the same the entire game. I think he started having a stroke about two years ago and it hasn’t really hit him yet.
No shit, Al. You don’t take a timeout to save one second before the 2-min warning.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/faa8bd96e2612d15789fa8c4a4d57f8f/tumblr_nscythPvpJ1uq3x5lo1_r1_400.gif
Why hasn’t Mincey been shot yet?
Is Coughlin wearing a support the troops ribbon?
Nope….FDR button.
Showing some love for his old teammate
More likely a poppy for his friends who didn’t come back from WWI
That’s an onion on his belt. It was the style at the time.
These last 2 minutes and change are going to take five hours to finish…
Hey, are you watching me have sex?
I typically have the opposite problem
This game needs to hurry up and end, Rick and Morty’s on in a few minutes.
Refs trying hard to keep Romobyl alive.
Jason Garrett: (In Looney Tunes gangster voice) “Minceyyyyyyy!”
The only reason I’m still watching is I hope both of either team’s safeties will unexpectedly spear the shit out of Vinovich.
Don’t worry. Sooner or later someone will realize Goodell just mistook a Foot Locker employee walking home one night
I’m one excessive celebration penalty away from the best orgasm ever.
Can they call that for a sack celebration, or for stopping second down? Cause that would be extra hot.
So is the NYPD.
FIND THE GODDAMN BUFFALO WILD WINGS BUTTON RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Coughlin just wants to get some sleep before he has to hit Cracker Barrel at 4:30 AM.
Menci’s girlfriend should consider entering pre-domestic violence protection tonight.
Well he just picked the wrong Flowers: Personal Foul Posies.
What
A
Fucking
Moron
!
Hockey-esque laughing while being pulled back by Flowers. Well played.