Your Late Afternoon Game Thread (No Pants Allowed)

Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.

Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.

Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.

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nomonkeyfun

According to espn
The 4 most popular picks in ESPN’s Eliminator Challenge this week all lost:
Saints 37%
Ravens 16%
Dolphins 14%
Rams 8%

According to my calcuations 120% of us should be out of the pool.

/Went to American public skools

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, I’m totally out, and couldn’t be happier about it. My plan was to pick against the Raiders until they burned me. Didn’t expect it to happen so soon.

Spanky Datass

Carnage in the DFO pool. Six commentists with two wins and nine with one win but yet to play this week … out of a group of 77.

Lothar of the Hill People

Aww, fuck. I picked the Dolphins. Can’t believe the Jags pulled it off.

Sill Bimmons

8 MINUTE TD MONTAGE WOO

Sharkbait

I’d call the Dallas-Philly game an abortion, but at least abortions are useful.

...

That game was so bad, Carly Fiorina told you that you need to see it for yourself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So, in advance of celebrating the Raiders’ win, I would like to respectfully request a ride from lockup. Los Angeles slopes south from where I am, so I expect I will end up in the Glassell Park lockup. Also, I will probably need bail money.

And pants. Will definitely need pants.

Thank you.

Sill Bimmons

I’ll come all the way from Jersey.

RATBIRDS 0-2 WOO

JustStopDude

Looks like the Cowboys won the battle and lost the war…

Spur

No one “wins” after this. I really hope Kellen Moore gets a chance to play.

Dick E. Phuck

Thank god this game is over.

Smithchez

So Dallas came into this game after finding out its star wide receiver will be out longer than expected and they then lost their starting QB to a broken clavicle. And somehow it’s a more demoralizing game for the Eagles.

John Difool

Demarco Murray, 13 carries for 2 yards…..SprayTalon got sprayed with DDT

Horatio Cornblower

Romo’s right-handed so I’m sure JJ will have him up and ready for Week 3.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I HAVE TONS OF FUCKING OPIATES!!!!!

Also I am crazy.”

tundrajim

Why in the Dallas Philly game have they replaced the score with the number of penalties each team has gotten?

Romonobyl
Mother Puncher

“I’m not even sure I have to analyze this.”

Aikman finally has a moment of clarity.

fleshwound_NPG
Gratliff

Fuck it. Save us, New Day. You’re our only hope!

nomonkeyfun

So will Rodgers go down tonight, or will Wilson lose his cherry, it’s Sunday Night Football on NBC.

King Hippo

Could be both at once, eh?

litre_cola

Commentists. I just laughed out loud to myself and said Hahahah we suck. Neighbour 3 condos down luaghed and said nice jersey.

comment image

Smithchez

Twenty one carries for eleven yards?!

Bloody Lethal

I would look forward to the Sunday night game, but primetime is where football goes to die now.

Redshirt

– “Why’d you throw a flag?”
– “I don’t know. I saw the Eagles ball carrier enter the end zone, and it seemed that there is no way they could do that legally.”
– “Makes sense.”

Spur

Almost in tears right now.
So bad.

Horatio Cornblower

If this game were aborted in the third trimester not even a Republican evangelical would complain.

fleshwound_NPG

Shitty day of football. TIME TO BRING IN PAMMY G. DAMN YOU BOSTON FOR STEALING HER.

http://cbslocal-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/captures/324/5BB/3245BB766F27431580E79B4D3580EAF5

Dick E. Phuck

The Eagles even suck in garbage time.

Sep

hory shit

Spur

DeMarco Murray today
http://i.imgur.com/1SdePSU.jpg

Dick E. Phuck

ELITECEPTIONS in back to back weeks.

Horatio Cornblower

Son: “How did Tony Romo break his arm?”

Me: “He fell on his left shoulder with a large black man on top of him.”

Son: “That’ll do it.”

bourb0nblues

Now that’s what I call ELITE!

litre_cola

so disappointed.

...

The Flaccometer just exploded.

Gratliff

At least give me Demarco fantasy points, you fucks

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