Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.
Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.
Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.
According to espn
The 4 most popular picks in ESPN’s Eliminator Challenge this week all lost:
Saints 37%
Ravens 16%
Dolphins 14%
Rams 8%
According to my calcuations 120% of us should be out of the pool.
/Went to American public skools
Oh, I’m totally out, and couldn’t be happier about it. My plan was to pick against the Raiders until they burned me. Didn’t expect it to happen so soon.
Carnage in the DFO pool. Six commentists with two wins and nine with one win but yet to play this week … out of a group of 77.
Aww, fuck. I picked the Dolphins. Can’t believe the Jags pulled it off.
8 MINUTE TD MONTAGE WOO
I’d call the Dallas-Philly game an abortion, but at least abortions are useful.
That game was so bad, Carly Fiorina told you that you need to see it for yourself.
Eagles grade: http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/creepypasta/images/0/0e/Super_F.gif/revision/latest?cb=20140316185700
So, in advance of celebrating the Raiders’ win, I would like to respectfully request a ride from lockup. Los Angeles slopes south from where I am, so I expect I will end up in the Glassell Park lockup. Also, I will probably need bail money.
And pants. Will definitely need pants.
Thank you.
I’ll come all the way from Jersey.
RATBIRDS 0-2 WOO
Looks like the Cowboys won the battle and lost the war…
No one “wins” after this. I really hope Kellen Moore gets a chance to play.
Thank god this game is over.
So Dallas came into this game after finding out its star wide receiver will be out longer than expected and they then lost their starting QB to a broken clavicle. And somehow it’s a more demoralizing game for the Eagles.
Demarco Murray, 13 carries for 2 yards…..SprayTalon got sprayed with DDT
Romo’s right-handed so I’m sure JJ will have him up and ready for Week 3.
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I HAVE TONS OF FUCKING OPIATES!!!!!
Also I am crazy.”
Why in the Dallas Philly game have they replaced the score with the number of penalties each team has gotten?
This game:
http://img.medscapestatic.com/pi/meds/ckb/35/9235tn.jpg
“I’m not even sure I have to analyze this.”
Aikman finally has a moment of clarity.
Please oh sweet Pammy G, pretty up this shitfest.
http://cbslocal-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/captures/272/EBD/272EBDAABC5148A8A929B69D0CD6F97E
Fuck it. Save us, New Day. You’re our only hope!
So will Rodgers go down tonight, or will Wilson lose his cherry, it’s Sunday Night Football on NBC.
Could be both at once, eh?
Commentists. I just laughed out loud to myself and said Hahahah we suck. Neighbour 3 condos down luaghed and said nice jersey.
Twenty one carries for eleven yards?!
I would look forward to the Sunday night game, but primetime is where football goes to die now.
– “Why’d you throw a flag?”
– “I don’t know. I saw the Eagles ball carrier enter the end zone, and it seemed that there is no way they could do that legally.”
– “Makes sense.”
Almost in tears right now.
So bad.
If this game were aborted in the third trimester not even a Republican evangelical would complain.
Shitty day of football. TIME TO BRING IN PAMMY G. DAMN YOU BOSTON FOR STEALING HER.
http://cbslocal-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/captures/324/5BB/3245BB766F27431580E79B4D3580EAF5
The Eagles even suck in garbage time.
hory shit
DeMarco Murray today
http://i.imgur.com/1SdePSU.jpg
ELITECEPTIONS in back to back weeks.
Son: “How did Tony Romo break his arm?”
Me: “He fell on his left shoulder with a large black man on top of him.”
Son: “That’ll do it.”
Now that’s what I call ELITE!
so disappointed.
The Flaccometer just exploded.
At least give me Demarco fantasy points, you fucks