Your Late Afternoon Game Thread (No Pants Allowed)

Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.

Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.

Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
670 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
ThursdaySkyGoddess

ELITECEPTION!

Smithchez

NAWT ELITE!!

Romonobyl

Nobody like to see anybody go down, Troy? I beg to differ sir.

Doktor Zymm

The Eagles are really fun when they’re a tire fire. If the rest of the season is like this, it would be fantastic if the Andy Reid simultaneously won a Super Bowl with the Chiefs.

John Difool

Andy Reid winning a Superbowl is just crazy talking….. now a Supper Bowl on the other hand…

Bloody Lethal

Chip Kelly: your team gets tired beating him.

Dick E. Phuck

I think we all can call Kelly’s decision to trade for Bradford awful at this point.

Charge of the Light Brigade

These games are making me not feel so bad about the Bills loss. That, and whiskey.

This is going to be a very mediocre season, isn’t it.

Bloody Lethal

Do you, Derek Carr.

Horatio Cornblower

I like how Aikman and Buck keep saying that the Eagles adding Bradford was adding a quality player.

litre_cola

Ravens 0-2?

Thats unpossible!

Romonobyl

Riley Cooper…always gettin’ hassled by The Man!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chip Kelly is still a genius, right?

nomonkeyfun

PK says so. It was all the fault of that ungritastic Murray.

Sill Bimmons

YYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

King Hippo

SURVIVOR MULLIGAN, BITCHES!!!!!

KidFlash

This Cowboys-Eagles game is almost derptastic enough to get over the Pats-Bills Enema Of Pain.

fleshwound_NPG

https://twitter.com/DrawPlayDave/status/645740194029703168

“Brandon Weeden has thrown more Touchdowns to a WR than Alex Smith has in over a year”

tundrajim

Eagles fans would throw batteries on the field, but that would necessitate there being Eagles fans left at the game.

Gratliff

Why is Bradford playing?

Horatio Cornblower

I wouldn’t call what he’s doing “playing”.

Horatio Cornblower

The Emmys are on Fox after this game? You’d think they would have mentioned that before now.

King Hippo

SAVED BY THE FRAG GODS!!!!

Spur

Murray’s body language is displaying the clearest “I’m done with this shit” message that I’ve ever seen.

Dick E. Phuck

I think it would be best if we could somehow wipe this game’s existence from the universe.

LeighAnne

Good for you, Doopy Pantz. You get a shot of whiskey in your Metamucil tonight.

Sill Bimmons

LETS GO RRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIDDDDDEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

King Hippo

WOW, there really was a DoopyDOWN???

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to a wedding in the Philly suburbs next weekend. Do you think I will still be able to see the smoke from the crater that was Philadelphia?

Sill Bimmons

You mean the Pope weekend?!?!

Holy SHIT is that wedding fucked!

Spur

The Cowboys defense can’t be this good, can they?

Mother Puncher

Fuck Yea! Weedon the era begins!

Horatio Cornblower

And a hearty “Fuck Yeah!” to you too Terrence!

fleshwound_NPG

DOOPDOWN!!!

Gratliff

/wrist

Smithchez

LOOOOOOOOOOLPHINS

Romonobyl

This is a physics experiment, when a totally stoppable force meets a non-existent object.

Bortleback

Remember when people thought the Dolphins might be able to challenge the Patriots for the division title? Me neither…..

Spanky Datass

Aaaaaaaand I’m eliminated…

Redshirt

Mike Perrera with that completely, voluntary retraction that in no way came from the NFL Commissioner’s Office.

Now can he please have his puppy back?

King Hippo

Come on Raiders….

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

http://i.imgur.com/VKPZNuM.png

Weeden Time! Feel the excitement!

Bloody Lethal

* excrement.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Beautiful.

John Difool

The Eagles have given me hope that the [*Redacted] s are only the third worst team in the NFC East.

Sill Bimmons

Somewhere, Jaxson De Ville smiles a wistful smile…

Gratliff

Fuck it. Burn it down. Two games to show Chip Kelly that he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing with personnel.

Horatio Cornblower

As a Cowboys fan my hopes are now pinned on next year’s draft.

...

That’s really sad.

Redshirt

If the Ohio State Boosters can remove the apparent curse that has been put on them, J.T. Barrett and Cardale Jones might be available.

bloodyhandedgod

The hope is that it is 4-6 weeks and they can survive it.

...

This game is so bad I feel like it’s proof American Exceptionalism is a lie.

Horatio Cornblower

The NFL’s Manifest Destiny is to destroy all the tapes of this game.

Fortunately they have plenty of practice at that.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Somehow, the team who’s quarterback was injured 2 quarters ago seems more capable than the one with a healthy quarterback. Enjoy the Bradford era, Iggle fans!

Doktor Zymm

Is there a derp hall of fame? If not can we build one just for this game?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Would it collapse in on itself?

nomonkeyfun

And to think Sanchez has been on the sidelines all game.

Martin

I would say RIP Philly except the last thing Philly has or deserves is peace.

laserguru

Could be worse.
You could have used Romo and Dez as your two keepers.
Goddamnit.

Romonobyl

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!