Your Late Afternoon Game Thread (No Pants Allowed)

Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.

Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.

Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.

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Romonobyl

Time to put ‘ole Tony down. Tell the kids we took him to this special farm where he gets to run and play all day long with other QBs just like him.

Thrillhouse

So with Romo out…that leaves me with Alex Smith, Tyrod Taylor, Manziel, and Nick Foles. I’ve gotta go with Taylor, right?

Why Thank You Eddie

Do you mean who to go out and party with or your fantasy team?

Doktor Zymm

RG3 to the Cowboys?

...

The NFC East: If you don’t destroy our quarterback, we’ll probably do it ourselves.

Dick E. Phuck

I should convince Jerry Jones to sign my dear friend, Brett Favre.
-Peter King

Sill Bimmons

YOU MADE ME BELIEVE RAIDERS

Spur

Weeden getting cocky.

Redshirt

Alright, I’ve come back from getting dinner to see that the Eagles score is now 3. So, I can only assumed that the fans finally rioted and FOX cut away to archive footage of another DAL-PHI game before Chip Kelly was drawn and quartered at midfield.

Smithchez

There’s a distinct possibility that Ryan Mallet, Brandon Weeden, Tyrod Taylor, Johnny Manziel, and Jimmy Clausen will all be starting games next week. In 2015.

bourb0nblues

What a country!

...

YEAR OF THE OH GOD IS THIS OUR SECOND OPTION QUARTERBACK!

nomonkeyfun

Sam Bradford still has twelve minutes of gametime to live through.

Sanchize 15.

No Mark, Goddammit. That’s not her age, it’s the year.

WhyEaglesWhy

So…[*Redacted] s are the favourite in the NFC East?

Sill Bimmons

Nou.

John Difool

Yea, but at that this point it’s what ever rat can crawl on top of the turd first.

litre_cola

I know I shouldn’t but man i feel good about Romo and Dez being injured.

/feels guilty
/goes smokes a bowl
/what did I feel bad about. Fuck use demarco murray!

fleshwound_NPG

wut

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Romonobyl

WTF is a leg collarbone?

WhyEaglesWhy

So Dr. Nick worked on him?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I believe it’s his LEFT clavicle. But tomato, tomahto.

Gratliff

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo

Dick E. Phuck

Avg. yards per Sam Bradford attempt: -20 Yards

Doktor Zymm

Sometimes the best thing about being a Washington fan is the other teams in the division. Actually, that’s almost always the case.

Romonobyl

I never thought we could surpass plaid before the 4th quarter…

Dick E. Phuck

Itz a season of Doopy Pantz for the Cowboys.

Sill Bimmons

ROMO BROKO COLLABO

nomonkeyfun

Boko Haroko, #BRINGBACKOURBUKKAKEGIRLS

bloodyhandedgod

-sadface-

hope it is not end of season. or it is end of season.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Was I supposed to hear that in Opera Man’s voice? Because I did.

Sill Bimmons

I hadn’t thought of that, but I’ll allow it.

Thrillhouse

Bored Dan Bailey, just amusing himself on the sideline.

Smithchez

#kickerpenalties

Spur

Dan Bailey is a thug.

Why Thank You Eddie

Another Festivus miracle!

tundrajim

Not surprised that the kicker would get chippy.

fleshwound_NPG

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA 15 YARD PENALTY ON THE KICKER ON THE BENCH

Dick E. Phuck

LOL Dan Bailey.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hahahahhahahahhaah kicker flag!

Romonobyl

OK that was a pretty cool leap there.

nomonkeyfun

So if the Raiders and Jags win today, plus the Jets on Monday will there be anyone alive in suicide pools.

Redshirt

That’s a flag?!

Doktor Zymm

Okay, this game is turning out awesome

Gratliff

GIF!

Hurdle.

Martin

Fuck the Patriots.

...

This ought to be the official DFO greeting.

John Difool

Romo out for the season with a broken collarbone….I should be rejoicing but that means no more Romobyl

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/gHXtB8zfCL8/maxresdefault.jpg

Why Thank You Eddie

Another Festivus miracle!

Spur

Cowboys have Kellen Moore from BSU. He should get a chance to play if Romo is done for the season.

ProzacElf

I think we all want to see Bradford scrambling. His body parts might actually fly into the stands if he gets enough momentum before they snap off.

Sill Bimmons

What happened to Gronk’s elbow HantaAIDS?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Hi I’m Peyton Manning. And I’m Steamboat Willie Manning.

Redshirt

Touchback, my ass.

Why Thank You Eddie

Yeah, my wedding night was awkward too.

Martin

Yo.

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fleshwound_NPG

She followed me too an hour ago…

Why Thank You Eddie

Erin can read lips? OK, here I go…ERIN…OLIVE JUICE.

Doktor Zymm

So, if Weeden gets hurt, which random player on the Cowboys started at QB a couple times in high school?

Romonobyl

Aikmen runs down to the field with his cell phone.

Spur

Coach Garrett.

Why Thank You Eddie

Hmm, they need someone with scrap and grit and…SEAN LEE! Send in Sean Lee!

blaxabbath

Fucking Patriots. Hate seeing Brady on the front page of ESPN getting jacked off. Just because the Rog overdid his punishment doesn’t mean he didn’t fucking cheat. He’s a cheating fucking cheat!

Fuck this country for being a place that holds a cock like that in such high regard.

Also — AP got a standing ovation.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is my shocked face.

Spur

Tebow to the Cowboys.

fleshwound_NPG

Your 2015-2016 NFC East final standings:

Washington: 6-10
Dallas: 5-11
New York: 4-12
Philadelphia: 2-14

Gratliff

Weeden and Sanchez should decide this game with a knife fight

Romonobyl

At least I’ll get to tell my grand kids someday about getting to witness the beginning of the Brandon Weeden era…
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Y_TT2meCCo8/US0IabTAzOI/AAAAAAAAFt0/qLVvE5L3vCY/s1600/3p0lyz.jpg

litre_cola

Sees interception. Pets dog slowly. Its ok, its ok. Youre still a good dog. Doesnt throw wine bottle against the wall

Why Thank You Eddie

THIS SAM BRADFORD, I CALL HIM DDT BECAUSE HE’S KILLING THE…what? Already been used this week? Nevermind. Carry on.

Gratliff

Maybe Night of Champions will be so good as to make up for this shitshow. Oof.

...

Out of control beard Andrew Luck has to watch the Bears game.

Poor guy.

Charge of the Light Brigade

Well. I benched Brady specifically for the Bills game so all of my hate could be focused like a karmic laser beam and I’m still winning fantasy. Am I the one? Am I one that curses Buffalo… or maybe the entire NFL?