Your Late Afternoon Game Thread (No Pants Allowed)

Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.

Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.

Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.

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Spur

Weeden time!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I literally fell asleep on the couch watching the game. Sure, one could blame it on my body rejecting this morning’s attempt at exercise, but I think it’s the Ravens’ fault.

tundrajim

Bradford completed every pass on that drive. Well done.

Someone call the Governor, I think they need to send the national guard to Philly, cause that crowd is on the cusp of being a riotous mob.

Jethro

Sophia Loren turned 81 today. Don’t know why I am sharing that, but Martin should probably do something.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As should congress

Doktor Zymm

The best thing about watching Cowboys/Eagles, no matter which team it is that’s derping it up, it’s super enjoyable.

LeighAnne

If the Romo injury is significant, and he’s out for weeks, the Washington R-words could actually win the NFC East. HAHAHAHAHA!

/Giants fan
// I laugh to keep from cutting myself

synapticmisfires

If this Eagles game continues, Philly will be burned to the ground before the Pope even gets to see it.

WhyEaglesWhy

Holy shit, it actually got worse.

bourb0nblues

Smart play by the Eagles… getting the ball in Weeden’s hands is their best option of winning this one.

ProzacElf

Ugh. We don’t even get a CBS game where I am.

fleshwound_NPG

Chip Kelly Goal-to-go Offense: throw until endzone INT

Dick E. Phuck

Fly like an Eagle.

King Hippo

In Bradford’s defense, Sean Lee WAS open…

Mother Puncher

The forecast is calling for batteries.

...

FLY EAGLES, FLY!

/Eagles fly into glass-covered skyscraper

Moonbatting Average

LOLEAGLES

Spur

Thank you Sean Lee.

Senor Weaselo

All the Jaguar drops.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Ooooh, that Ertz.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Chip Kelly’s career has entered the Spurrier stage.

Gratliff

Oh my dear jesus fuck. Kill me now.

Redshirt

It is fitting that “injure the Quarterback” is in the Eagles playbook.

...

I just imagine Bradford being hit here and bursting apart like a poorly-assembled mannequin.

ProzacElf

That pass he just threw sort of resembled that if you squinted.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Ol’ Double J will be snortin’ cocaine for 2 tonight!

Doktor Zymm

And to think I thought both of these teams were gonna be good this year. Maybe the Skins WON’T be last in the NFC East!

John Difool

Are the Cards coming back?

King Hippo

shit, you could take it at 6-10 now!

Gratliff

Have the [*Redacted] s put up their 2015 champs banner yet?

Senor Weaselo

NFC East Finalist?

Redshirt

Uh, does Weedon even know that Romo is hurt and he is needed? Or are the Cowboys going to snap the ball directly to the running back and use an extra blocker?

Sill Bimmons

SINGLE-WING TIME

WhyEaglesWhy

So, THIS GAME, plus Kiko Alonso is gone for the year. I’ll be on that bridge if anyone needs me.

litre_cola

Bridge and time? I think you and I are the only Iggle refugees. We wont be needed.

WhyEaglesWhy

You can pick up Gratliff on the way.

montythisseemsstrangetome

NO DON’T DO IT…
/remembers that Sam Bradford is your QB.

eh, you’ve had a good run. We’ll miss you.

Romonobyl

I hope they have a few of Peyton Manning’s spare parts available in the locker room.

John Difool

Well, Crazy Horse did outlast Custer… for a minute or two….

Gratliff

Any other QB in the league is raping with play action fakes in this game.

King Hippo

JEEBUS HAS SPOKEN, JERRAL.

SIGN TEH TEBOW!!!!!!

Redshirt

(in J.R. voice)

“Well Bradford is in complete control of this Derpfest. I don’t see how…. Wait a minute? What that? Now wait just a damn minute! By God, King! That’s Brandon Weedon’s music!!!”

Charge of the Light Brigade

As promised, my piss smells like jet fuel. How the hell ya doin’ boys?

Sill Bimmons

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

laserguru

And it’s Racer 5 time.
An icy cold IPA straight out the ice chest.
Goddamn I’m having a good day.

Doppy Pantz: The Return.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Is Chip Kelly a genius yet?

Why Thank You Eddie

The Cowboys need the wisdom of Gary Hogeboom now more than ever.

Spur

Weeden not even warming up…

ThursdaySkyGoddess

They have to grab his walker out of the locker room first.

Doktor Zymm

Odds Romo comes back before the end of the game? He returned after that back injury last year.

...

So Bradford outlasted Romo?

Hmm.

Sill Bimmons

Holy FUCKBALLS Sam Bradford!

litre_cola

Crabdown?

Gratliff

Ominous smash cut to the ambulance

Sharkbait

DOOPY PANTZ!

Sill Bimmons

GLORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEDOWN

tundrajim

Maybe Jerry will donate his hips to Romo.

JustStopDude
King Hippo

they don’t lie ,, ppl forget that

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