Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.
Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.
Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.
LOLGLES
Dead punter on the field.
ROD MARINELLI SIGHTING
http://media.tab.co.uk/blogs.dir/15/files/2013/01/rod1.jpg
Why it’s almost as if the Philadelphia offensive line is a massive downgrade in terms of run blocking!
Yeah, it was totes teh Spray Talon. Nothing to do with teh OL.
huh
Bradford is still in? I guess Chip Kelly really does want to watch Philadelphia burn.
/wakes up from nap
/checks in on afternoon games
/turns on Cowboys Eagles
/turns off TV
Leave it on, it’ll help you sleep.
3 games is the perfect number for red zone.
Of course the Ravens emotional leader would be a horrible, women-beating asshole like Suggs.
I think I’ll make bacon and eggs for dinner tonight. Is that weird?
I LOVE breakfast for dinner!
http://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1986641259/breakfast.jpg
I’m back in the DC area this weekend so I was off visiting a friend I haven’t seen in almost two years during the early games, and HOLY CRAP WHAT DID I MISS!? The [*Redacted] s were apparently competent, and I missed it! ARGH.
Not only competent but surprisingly competent , Doctor…
*raises Spock eyebrow*
Penny looks awful with short hair.
I had to run errands, and thusly got the joy of hearing the Iggles radio feed for the last 3 minutes. It was glorious. They actually seemed pretty self-aware of the mutual shitshow and how God-awful the Iggles were.
Best part “I remember watching the Cowboys/Giants game last Sunday night and thinking how terrible both teams were. Now watching this game today…”
WE WANT NACHO.
That will never not be funny.
Eagles: 16 plays, 21 yards.
Which floundering major program do you think Kelly bolts for at Thanksgiving.
?
Alabama
Montreal.
Auburn could have an opening. Or South Cakalaky.
Being a Stoneburner must be frustrating.
Jake Stoneburner!!!!!!!!!!
He must be friends with Max Power.
Whenever I hear Stoneburner, I can’t help but think about “Dune Messiah.”
Touchdown Generic Big White Guy. Dolphins tie it up.
That first half was ugly.
I got to give Romo credit…he knows how to throw the ball away to save just enough time for the field goal.
Eli and the entire Giant’s coaching staff should be taking fucking notes.
The coals are started, the beans are simmering, the beers are icy cold and delicious.
It’s grilling time!
What a beautiful day.
And today’s dead animal is?
Chicken. At least 3 chickens died for our dining pleasure.
FRAG! Drink
Holy shit DAL/PHI is motherfucking awful.
Dullest game I’ve ever watched.
Interesting play call by Cowboys to set up a screen with zero blocking…
I think I’ll switch over to reruns of ‘Ow, My Balls’ on VH1.
Too much Grit for the Eagles.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Zach Ertz.
Zach Ertz who?
I accidentally fapped with shampoo instead of conditioner, so my Zach Ertz.
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/boo_this_man_half_baked.gif
I may or may not have had to explain that joke to my fiance. She has a Masters. I do not. I think we know why I got it and she didnt.
ICY Hot instead of KY
I once used Ben-Gay because I thought it would feel different.
It did.
Kenny Rodger’s face has been pulled up so tight that’s his pubic hair on his chin.
Who the hell is A$ap Rocky? And why is he trying to sell me phones?
Romo gon’ Romo
EARLY ROMOBYL…AWWWWW SKEET SKEET
LE FREAK C’EST CHIC
That was a forward pass.
Is anyone else not getting the website to auto-reload?
it’s slow.
Every time I post a comment it reloads.
So Week 1 had my Murray jersey on in the 1st half, we saw that dumpster fire. Took it off, they played well.
Think I have to go reverse hex here and put it on.
Classy “Bullshit” chant from the throng in Oakland…
Are we sure it’s not Ravens fans who decided to make the trek?
Well the amount of tattoos…wait no…the amount of drugs in the crowd…no wait…um…arrest records…no…
Shit…I guess the number of vegans in the crowd will determine if they are from Baltimore or Oakland.
This flagfest is getting ridiculous.
You can always count on Raiders fans to keep it classy!
GO FOR IT RAVENS YOU PUSSIES
Run the fucking ball, Dallas. Did we learn nothing last year?
The Raiders are really trying to just hand the game to the Ravens…
Soon to be followed by handjobs…..
MOAR FRAGS!
You know what would make sense? If the Cowboys stuck with one shade of blue that made sense.
Jaguras owner is epic. He also owns my pathetic Fulham Football Club as well. Lets just say they are basically the same two teams in a different sport
Wait….a flag?
BULLSHIT CALL
Jaguras with a 7-point lead at the half.
FELL TEH JAGURACITEMENT
Holy shit, 58 yards? You go, Jaguras
Chip Kelly trying desperately to reach that ball of wax in his ear. If only someone would give him a Q-Tip, he could pull out a Sugar Daddy and have a snack too.
#MultiTasking