Det @ Sea: The Rams upset of the Cards yesterday makes it imperative for the ‘Hawks to grab this one. (And I thought the NFC East is a mess-which it is) With Lynch out Thomas Rawls (who?) gets the ball. He’s 5’9″ and 215 lbs. and hails from Central Michigan GO CHIPPEWAS! (I guess?) Anyone mamember Melvin McLaughlin? Of course you don’t-he is only the leading career scorer for their basketball team! After giving up more than 60 points in their first two games the Seattle D threw a zero at the Bears so they may be rounding into shape OR the Bears are going scoreless from here on out and the Seahawks got in on the ground floor. According to Pro Football Focus the Lions have the most “wave to the defensive player as he runs by and gets pressure on the QB”. (may want to tighten up that terminology a bit, PFF) I look forward to Stafford doing his best impression of a fat kid trying to avoid being run over by an ice cream truck.
WHEN A WOMAN FEELS ROMANTIC I DON’T STOP TO TAKE A PILL I JUST GIVE HER A ROOFIE
– Darren Sharper
Caldwell: Oh ghosts of Schwartz, Marinelli, Juaron, Mariucci, Morhingweg, Moller, Ross, Fontes, Rogers, Clark. Please tell me what to do.
Remember when football games were all boner pill ads? Fun times
BONER PILLS ARE FOR DEAD MEN AND DRAFTKINGS GIVE YOU LIIIIIIIIIIFE!
Note to punt returners: if you’re standing at the 10 yard line and the ball goes over your head, just let it go.
This game is just like my sex life in that I’m gonna drink too much soy sauce and take this concession stand to the mooooon!
This game is like my sex life in that I feel great I feel great I feel great I feel bad I even watched football I even watched football I can’t remember my legs
So how’s your sex life?
Can’t complain.
http://i.picpar.com/K0V.gif
Hey, someone had to reference The Room!
I SHALL PURCHASE THAT AUTOMOBILE
Jesus, Jon Ryan destroyed that ball.
Fun fact: Jon Ryan is also the name of Nate Solder’s oncologist.
PUFFED MUNTS FOR EVERYONE
Detroit? Com..pet…ence?
Yeah but they just gave the ball back to their offense…
LOL NOOP
Detroit’s punt returner must have heard you. God, what a boneheaded play.
Pictured: Tom Brady
http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/2/23/crazy_cartoon_cheat_trophies.PNG/180px-crazy_cartoon_cheat_trophies.PNG
here cheat have another trophy
Pictured: Gronk
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/4938/567770-strongmad.png
http://31.media.tumblr.com/7addab183d37f02c44ff1dc079e6606d/tumblr_n2oav16c7p1qfo1o9o3_250.gif
I genuinely feel bad that Tirico has to interact with Gruden so much.
Gruden has gone full Sesame Street. WATCH THE CAT!! WATCH THE CAT!
HE’S BEHIND THE FREAKIN’ BOX! I’LL KILL YA! I’LL KILL ALL YOUR DOGS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnPm3h6sl84
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-29966-ITS-HAPPENING-gif-Ron-Paul-HD-xThK.gif
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME, RECOVERY WATER?
#blessed
more like #nonobubbles
Seattle’s mistake there was calling the zone reid.
Hey Wilson! You’re no Kaepernick! You’re no Kaepernick!
– His adopted parents
And in the Fourth Quarter the Lord said “Fumbles for the Fumble God, you know, Me.”
HAHAHA FUCK YOU WILSON
Come on Detroit! Turn Seattle’s stupid fans into the Legion of Gloom!
I’d laugh if the Lions D unilaterally wins this.
Yes the defense scored…but let’s not pretend that suddenly the Lions are back in this game.
SOMETHING HAPPENED
holy motherfucking shit
FATGUYDOWN!
Baah! A damn Seattle Sounders game here I tells ya. Not that I follow that kind of sport.
/eyes dart side to side
WHITE.. . . . CAPS!
WHITE. . . .CAPS!
WHITE . . . . . . CAPS!
Maybe this Tyrunn Walker guy should think about changing his name.
Gruden Grinder of the day….the fish throwing guy resisting the urge to just chuck it at Chuckie’s head…
Judging by TWWL, Seattle nothing but is a fish market, a football stadium, and people being loud in said stadium. There are only three structures in the entire city.
What about the Space Needle?
Your point is?
It’s actually the truth; nobody can afford to live or work there anymore, so it’s been abandoned aside from the sports and the fish.
“So long, and thanks for all the fish”
Even if Seattle didn’t have any fish markets, it would still smell like one.
I can tell its morning time in Japan. I’ve got about 30 emails from Tokyo from people politely repeating the same fucking passive-aggressive email to me.
Wow, this Arlen Specter biopic looks fascinating! Who knew that he led such an exciting life?
So wait…the big reveal in the new James Bond movie is that the evil Nazis German is evil?
Who the fuck is writing this shit? A five year old???
He’s not only an evil German nazi, he’s also a bad guy!
That was probably the ONLY plot point in the whole movie, and they blew it in the preview. All that’s left is 2 hours of explosions.
You know who’s worse than German Nazis? Austrian Nazis.
Look it up.
Illinois Nazis would like a word.
http://cdn.yourepeat.com/media/gif/001/120/171/64de9eda2c877101903287672efebc3f.gif
“Alright, which of you is gonna be tonight’s Gruden Grinder?”
“Jon, do you have to say that every time we’re at a strip club?”
This game is like my sex life…
Nothing is happening…
No, no, no. In Grudenese:
THIS GAME? I CALL IT MY SEX LIFE BECAUSE NOTHING’S HAPPENING.
This Lions offense is like my sex life because something mind-boggingly stupid happens to shut down any chance of scoring.
Is that for givin’ him the business?
No, it was for a little somethin’ extra.
http://deadspin.com/bills-fan-spices-up-halftime-with-mysterious-white-powd-1734802462
This game is like my sex life because I am surrounded by supermodels who only perform exotic sex acts on me because I am a billionaire with a fleet of great cars and a couple of private jets.
I am also under the influence of a hallucinogen, and I’m glad my iPad didn’t eat me as I typed this.
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW RUSSELL?
http://media.twirlit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/burger-king-where-is-your-god.jpg
This game is like my sex life because I knew what I was getting into when it started…. but failed to remember the safeword to end it.
If the Seahawks linemen had tugged on that Lion’s jersey any more he’d be naked. Honestly, this is terrible.
As bad as this is, remember, it’s still not Monday Night Raw.
Monday Night Raw is like my sex life because…ugh, gross.
The more I see these Madden commercials, the less of an idea I have about what the fuck the commercials are about.
This is the House Select Committee on Benghazi of NFL games.
THIS LIONS OFFENSE-I CALL IT RUSSEL WILSON’S SEX LIFE BECAUSE ITS NON-EXISTENT!
This game is like my sex life because it’s not about quality, it’s just about volume.
The return of Millenball.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/2acb1b0156/millenball?_cc=__t___&_ccid=6f86dp.nvs1sg
This game is like Russell Wilson’s sex life in that nobody is feeling satisfied about his performance.
This game is a lot like my sex life in that I tend to perform better if I have a 12th man around cheering me on.
/apologies if someone has already made this joke.
What are the other ten men doing?
*delightful chortle*
“Illegal hands to the face? Bullshit!”
–Ray Rice–