AFC South Fever-Catch It! Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Indy @ Hou: Arian is coming back to full strength against the right team-versus the Colts he averages a TD per game, 120 rush yards and 6 ypc. Is there anyone who can’t  run against Indy? I don’t think so. Here’s betting that Mallethoyer has the sort of game that will have the Texan fan screaming for Hoyermallet to start the following week. As of this writing (Wednesday) both Luck and Hasselbeck were questionable which led to the re-signing of Josh Johnson. Needless to say, one of the questionables will be dragging his carcass onto the field Thursday evening. You know how teams end up regretting not re-upping a star player because he ended up on a division rival and went on to show that he could still be productive?-Texans management doesn’t feel that way about Andre Johnson. At the rate he’s going, Donte Moncrief (no relation to Sidney Moncrief, the do-everything 6’4″ guard for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 80’s that was asked to guard everyone from Jordan to Dr. J to Larry Bird and never got the credit he deserved and was my childhood hero, dammit!) is going to be the guy that ends up getting double coverage, leaving T.Y. to wonder, “hey, what about me?”.

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how #24 was just patting him on the back to get his attention instead of tackling him. “Hey! Hey! Hey!”

King Hippo

The best part of playing in an IDP league is when your slot receiver or pass-catching RB gets you a random point for a ST tackle.

makeitsnowondem

I liked a couple of weeks ago when someone’s running back blocked a kick.

So which officiating crew is going to win the million dollar bet all the refs made as to who will call the most penalties?

makeitsnowondem

It’s called Enjoy By 10/31/15 IPA, but I’m not taking any chances.

entropy

Matt Hasselback is old. Ppl forget that.

Mother Puncher

Gore has already surpassed my fantasy expectations for him. About due for a fumble.

litre_cola

I am watching Ice Blue Bombers against Ice Pats, and I have never heard more homers than the announcers on NESN. Holy Fuck I have never heard anything like it except for the dead drunk guy for the White Sox.

Anyone compare?

King Hippo

Having listened to a few minutes of [*Redacted] s radio last Sunday whilst running errands…yes.

Reds’ el beisbol crew is equally shit.

Sill Bimmons

Flyers TV crew is fairly abhorrent.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

I can’t wait for daily fantasy to die

JustStopDude

Still haven’t tried Fan Duel?!? Do it before we get indicted!

Stabby Pants

FanDuel: We ruined fantasy sports.

blordinaryfagicmox

Oh is this penalty going to stand?

entropy

Called back during the commercial.

Mother Puncher

Is there anything worse in football than the 3rd and long draw play

blordinaryfagicmox

Long pass on 3rd and shirt is more frustrating I think,

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Someone tell the Texans they aren’t playing NFL blitz

entropy

The NFL network will switch to a live stream of two kids playing NFL blitz for the second half, however.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll take those screen passes for 2 yards losses in my .5 PPR league all night, baby.

Senor Weaselo

.3 yards a pop, woo!

Senor Weaselo

That should say .3 points obviously.

Stabby Pants

The Colts coaching staff is certainly a group of graying bearded men.

You know how in baseball when a game has gotten so bad, they bring in position player to pitch, I wonder when the Texans will have Watt play QB?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I remember when they did a graphic like that with Steve McNair except it said “Missed Zero Games”.

Old School Zero

I should eat dinner, but I don’t want to get up off my ass.

King Hippo

FUCK IT, why you wanna take the edge off your absinthe buzz anyhoo?

entropy

So, in this Wendy’s commercial, the guy says your sauce should be a little spicy, a little smoky, and a little sweet…. And Wendys offers them up individually? Jesus even the fast food on Thursday Nights is idiotic.

Stabby Pants

Remember Mighty Wings?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

You don’t have to remember them McDonald’s is still selling them

King Hippo

My ass still does. OUCH

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I remember…wait what were we talking about? Mighty Mouse?”

– Trent Green

Kungjitsu

I don’t trust fast food BBQ. Trichinosis is for real.

King Hippo

Smithfield’s Chicken ‘n BBQ (local chain) is as low as I will go for BBQ.

John Difool

The Colts remind of a trip to the drugstore. BlueStar ointment, Mylantil and Pepto Bismal.

Beerguyrob

And a wasted-as-fuck old man reminding you to pick up his pills.

John Difool

That was probably me.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Drinking some miller high life for this game. What’s everyone else drinking?

entropy

Killing the last 20 of a case of goddamn Mich Ultra someone left here after the weekend. I’m not happy but it’s free.

John Difool

Icehouse

Old School Zero

Gonna make a martini cut with a little absinthe.

King Hippo

MexiCoke and Vicuprofen!

Beerguyrob

Angry Orchard. A little apple for the teacher.

Kungjitsu

Bulleit bourbon (and whining about it).

Mother Puncher

Left Hand Oktoberfest

JustStopDude

snorting rails of crush pills. Not sure what exactly…just know they burn and they are starting to kick in.

King Hippo

embracing the mystery! HUZZAH!!

Kungjitsu

I hope it’s some kind of Oxy.

Col. Duke LaCross

A couple cans of Strongbow.

litre_cola

Red wine, weed. mellow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen an NFL player commit such grievous illegal contact since…how many days has it been since the last arrest?

entropy

So, the actual penalty was called back? Pone of the few legit penalties all season, and it gets dropped? What the actual fuck?

Senor Weaselo

THOSE AREN’T FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD!

Beerguyrob

ONLY JEEBUS IS WORSHIPPED IN TEXAS!!!1!!!1

Lord Joe Don Looney

Just wasn’t enough for a foul.

Stabby Pants

Thursday Night Football: Even the refs are derpy.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Hey the replacement refs are back!

PunchRockgroin

Officials: Check cleared.

JustStopDude

Fun Hasselbeck game fact- To prevent him from losing his bladder control during the game, the team docs left in his catheter, and tied off the tubing in a simple sheep shank knot.

Mother Puncher

He also uses this as birth control.

Yeah, can anyone explain how Pheel became CBS’s preeminent color commentator.

blordinaryfagicmox

Simms is DEEP with Disney, Disney owns ABC, which is pretty much the same as CBS.

Mother Puncher

Moonves was impressed with some of Phil’s comments about the coloreds.

Mother Puncher

I bet it’s really annoying trying to hear somebody from Indiana try to pronounce “Fleener”.

blordinaryfagicmox

Hasselbeck? Was Jon Kitna unavailable?

Stabby Pants

Hey, can’t crowd that line. The pukey 40 year old might beat them with his arm.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought we said no gore.

Lothar of the Hill People

Just don’t post Gore.

Senor Weaselo

But I thought Eichel was going to make the Ice Bills magically good!

Old School Zero

brrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaapppppPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSLSLLLSSLSSSS

— Texans

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Finally authentic Australian tacos, thanks outback

That’s why you never trust a vegan in Texas.

Lothar of the Hill People

AND CRAB JUICE THROWS A PICK!

Kungjitsu

#FirstWorldProblems

I asked my wife to buy some Bulleit Rye, which is fuckin world class. She came back with Bulleit Bourbon, which is completely nondescript.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ray Rice has a view on a reasonable response to that scenario.

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

FRONTIER WHISKEY MOTHERFUCKER

John Difool

That was so very Houston of the Texans…..

Stabby Pants

Right on the money, if that money was behind Foster and above his head.

Sometimes I think Phil Simms is just a sound board.

Lothar of the Hill People

Was thinking the same thing and gonna post it, but I had to fuckin’ log on.

“Right on the money” = high and behind the running back dragging across the field.

JustStopDude

Mallet-ception!

Wait…that didn’t look like his fault…oh well just fuck em anyway.

makeitsnowondem

SIMMS: I’m not gonna second-guess him…

NANTZ: Sure.

SIMMS: But right now I’m totally going to second-guess him.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Hello Thursday night derp

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

Hello derpness my old friend, I’ve come to Thursday night with you again

bourb0nblues

Could that have ended any other way?

entropy

Fumble, recovered by Houston, the dropped and recovered by Indy again, who then laterals out of bounds?

Senor Weaselo

DOINKERCEPTION

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

I can see why some of the old school ex-coach announcer types have an irrationally optimistic view of Mallet, guy really does have a fucking rocket of an arm. He’s like a younger, less sulky Catler

MikeMartzColorsDontRun

lol and he gets an interception RIGHT after I make a Cutler comparison, puuurrrrfect

makeitsnowondem

Minnie fucking hates when I meow back at her. It’s great.

Old School Zero

Turn on the RFD computer voice so I can meow at her.

John Difool

With all the white, blue and pink the Colts look like a bunch of Gundam figures.

entropy

Jesus. Just once I’d like an announcer to be honest…. “This Mallet, he’s certainly the lesser of two evils, considering their other QB is Hoyer, so we’re in for a truly mediocre performance tonight.”