Your Faux-Existential Monday Night Thread

Everywhere you turn around these days it seems like things are going to shit. Whether it’s be-headings abroad or mass shootings here or government officials telling outright lies and not being called on it or hell, not getting that raise you were promised-don’t you think it would be nice to have some semblance of order? I’m not talking law and order, I’m just saying things should occasionally make a little sense. “But scotchnaut”, you interrupted before I was finished my thought-“the world is full of grey areas, there are no absolutes.” Sure, I get that and I’m with you most of the time but it would be nice if things were simpler, just for a bit. I’m not asking for ball-jarring change either. Let’s start off small-say, I don’t know…hmm, what about a Giants victory tonight? A win would separate them from the Eagles, a loss would send the NFC East into a chaotic jumble of two 3-3 teams followed by  a 2-3 team. More messiness for you, me and the world to deal with. Embrace Clarity. Go Giants!

NYG @ Phi: Eli has been a whole ‘nutella QB so far this year. He’s got the 10 TD’s with only 2 picks (though he could regress in a heartbeat and add 3 to the total tonight) and due to some very solid play from O-linemen Pugh, Richburg and Schwartz he’s only been sacked 4 times. Red zone-wise the Giants grade out at 29th in the league. (I read that Coughlin calls it the green zone because ‘green means go’ and of course the lawn thing). The three-headed mediocrity of Vereen, Jennings and Williams aren’t doing the running game any favours, Beckham is hamstringed by a leg injury as is Randle plus Kennard and Prince are out. The Eagles have taken 10 of the last 13 from NY but DeMarco does have a putrid 2.7 ypc and Matthews is out. If it falls on Bradford I’ll take my chances.

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WhyEaglesWhy

RACISTDOWN

WhyEaglesWhy

That behind-the-line camera angle is terrible.

blordinaryfagicmox

The cable cam? It is objectively superior; you can actually see downfield and the speed of the game comes through so much better.

WhyEaglesWhy

You’re right if the angle is high enough. It wasn’t in that case and it isn’t a lot of the time.

makeitsnowondem

My friend’s dog died, so I’ma go ahead and drink the last Bourbon County Coffee Stout.

blordinaryfagicmox

(Helmet to helmet contact currently on screen)
Gruden, “I don’t see anything wrong there.”

WhyEaglesWhy

Did the NFL just decide that “defenseless receiver” is a dumb rule (it is) and stop calling it?

litre_cola

Due to no concrete evidence of head trauma the nfl has decided that anything goes, except for qb’s.

Gratliff

Wow. Not even close.

Why Thank You Eddie

Nobody wants to see the practice squad.

WhyEaglesWhy

The most amazing thing about that is that it wasn’t Eli’s fault.

John Difool

I’ll take “Things Heard Around the Manning Household” for $200, Alex.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

MannInception

Redshirt

Eagles…do a good?

Gratliff

YAY! THEY DID A GOOD

WhyEaglesWhy

Holy shit.

Doktor Zymm

A theory : All of Chip Kelly’s battery powered devices died over the summer and he’s too cheap to buy his own batteries when he can get free ones from the fans.

Sharkbait

IceGiants willing 2-0 after 2. Fiance is getting more and more angry that she started Vereen over Randle this evening. Starting to think sitting next to her on the couch will keep me out of the line of fire when she inevitably throws her phone

WCS

RE: Doktor’s Thanksgiving/Christmas in Philly/NYC

Spent Thanksgiving 2012 in Philadelphia. I made (mostly) successful my first Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. Afterwards, we went to Dave and Busters in Conshockhen. It was mostly deserted, so we got free drinks and free game play. It was also the night of this:

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–03b7Eexy–/18zccrb69aqjcgif.gif

Good day!

John Difool

That never gets old.

Sharkbait

That will never not be funny. I thought that was the greatest thing I’ve seen in a Pats game until last night.

Doktor Zymm

hehe. Butt.

Col. Duke LaCross

So Pinktober has been abandoned?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

We all are aware

Is there anything as sweet as exasperated Eagles fans?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Sad pats fans

litre_cola

I have been found salty, not sweet, incredibly bitter right now though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I like them most when they throw batteries and snowballs at Santa. It allows me to pretend I am less of an asshole than someone.

blaxabbath

Hi.

I brewed kombucha at home and it’s not as carbonated-y as I would like. I think if I let it secondary ferment any longer, however, it would have gone vineagar on me. How do I balance this?

Redshirt

RE: Eagles Offense

Something can’t be right, I thought the game was supposed to pause if someone’s controllers gets unplugged.

Doktor Zymm

On an unrelated note, anyone doing anything interesting for Halloween this year? I’m contemplating going to some sort of organized pub crawl or party or booze cruise this year, instead of just throwing together some sort of costumish thing and going to my corner bar. Last year some ass tried to hit on me by stealing my book. (Yes I always bring reading material to bars, I’m nerdy like that)

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Running a marathon the next morning so sadly no

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Carb-load on martinis.

Sharkbait

Going to a Halloween party for charity at a bar. That way when I get blackout drunk, I’ll be doing some sort of good.

Also going as Pacman
/not Adam Jones’ penis.

King Hippo

YAY, I’m not the only one. Bartender lady did make fun of me once, though.

Also, did not know that “petty thief” was a trait in courtship that ladyfolk found attractive?

litre_cola

In a volleyball tournament and they want the teams to dress up. Can we just play the damn game???

JustStopDude

Last October I was stuck in the Middle East…this October…I am not allowed to drink…so I am not sure which Halloween is going to be more depressing…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WE GOTS USSINS A REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAADER!!

blaxabbath

We’re going to Savannah for like, cemetery tours and shit.

I don’t know — it’s the GFs idea.

blordinaryfagicmox

I always bring (one of my copies of) the Kama Sutra to the bar, but no one has ever tried to hit on me by stealing it. Maybe I need the large print version so they can see it from farther away?

Why Thank You Eddie

Does anyone have relatives from NY and Philly? What were holidays like?

Does it count if you yourself were the New York relative?

WhyEaglesWhy

I went to college halfway between Philly and NY. It was…lively.

Sill Bimmons

Rutgers?

Why Thank You Eddie

Rutgers? I never even felt hers.

King Hippo

Elisha, consistently good? Are the Giants like, an actual team, and not just King of the NFC East Dipshits?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

The hurry up 3 and out offense is something Oakland perfected, but chip is adding his own uniqueness to it

JustStopDude

comment image

Exactly what I expected to see in Bradford tonight!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Since WCS is just wrong and prefers Gillian I felt it necessary to give one of her. It is NSFW so not getting posted directly

h ttp://giant.gfycat.com/HairyEcstaticFinch.gif

WhyEaglesWhy

Brittaboobs!

WCS

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Everyone have their projectiles ready?

King Hippo

If they didn’t battery nail the butcher of the national anthem, I just dunno Philly anymore ,, smgdh

WhyEaglesWhy

Hah, that old guy swearing in the stands is my spirit animal.

litre_cola

Just happy the offense is looking good, and our defense looks tight. Gotta be the laser beam eyes of our quarterback

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Not miscommunication, that’s just a Bradford pass

WhyEaglesWhy

“An uncommon error”? Gruden hasn’t watched any Eagles this year.

Sharkbait

Bradford targeting Sproles with the bad eye.

Redshirt

Speaking of Dick Jokes, did anyone mention NFL Network’s revealing interview with Adam Jones yet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Chu?

Redshirt

NFL Network did an interview with Pacman and there was many naked Bengals in the background.

JustStopDude

http://i.imgur.com/aWBJBSU.gif

All this Canadian Election stuff is confusing to me…

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Oh, Tom Joyner…. why?

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

Finally the NBA for the nights there isn’t any football on including Thursday

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Sill Bimmons

hey

King Hippo

WOO we beat the FACTORY!!!

Doktor Zymm

I wouldn’t mind if this year ended in another Giants last minute Super Bowl win over the Patriots. There would be a rash of broken hands and damaged walls in the Greater Boston Area.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Why Thank You Eddie

*steps on electric grocery store sliding door panel* Good evening gents.

Sharkbait

Somebody has a soul.

Why Thank You Eddie

Meh, its fluid.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Giants TD! Even just typing that felt false. I don’t care. Alison Brie anyways

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a320/xplodingsun/Shirt_ripped_open9997463.gif

WhyEaglesWhy

This is the best thing I’ll see tonight.

JerryJones-Thugs-N-Harmony

One coach use to coach at Oregon, the other traveled a trail to there in his younger years
Tonight on Monday night football

John Difool

Nice

Gratliff

Victor has Dysentery.

Chip, the Giants just effortlessly scored a TD, what should we do.

Has USC called?

Uh, no.

If they call let me know.

Sill Bimmons

Can you imagine the chaos?

WhyEaglesWhy

Welp, I’m going to work.

litre_cola

Well the whole East Coast of our country voted liberal.

Gratliff

If the reception reviews have been any indication this week, that was OPI.

King Hippo

Chip Kelly, proving that black isn’t always slimming.

Gratliff

Welp, this is going great.