Everywhere you turn around these days it seems like things are going to shit. Whether it’s be-headings abroad or mass shootings here or government officials telling outright lies and not being called on it or hell, not getting that raise you were promised-don’t you think it would be nice to have some semblance of order? I’m not talking law and order, I’m just saying things should occasionally make a little sense. “But scotchnaut”, you interrupted before I was finished my thought-“the world is full of grey areas, there are no absolutes.” Sure, I get that and I’m with you most of the time but it would be nice if things were simpler, just for a bit. I’m not asking for ball-jarring change either. Let’s start off small-say, I don’t know…hmm, what about a Giants victory tonight? A win would separate them from the Eagles, a loss would send the NFC East into a chaotic jumble of two 3-3 teams followed by a 2-3 team. More messiness for you, me and the world to deal with. Embrace Clarity. Go Giants!
NYG @ Phi: Eli has been a whole ‘nutella QB so far this year. He’s got the 10 TD’s with only 2 picks (though he could regress in a heartbeat and add 3 to the total tonight) and due to some very solid play from O-linemen Pugh, Richburg and Schwartz he’s only been sacked 4 times. Red zone-wise the Giants grade out at 29th in the league. (I read that Coughlin calls it the green zone because ‘green means go’ and of course the lawn thing). The three-headed mediocrity of Vereen, Jennings and Williams aren’t doing the running game any favours, Beckham is hamstringed by a leg injury as is Randle plus Kennard and Prince are out. The Eagles have taken 10 of the last 13 from NY but DeMarco does have a putrid 2.7 ypc and Matthews is out. If it falls on Bradford I’ll take my chances.
I love this game so much
It’s amazing. The Iggles are complete ass, and playing ass-y even by their own ass-y standards, and ARE WINNING BY 17 AFTER THREE QUARTERS.
Lady and gentlemen, the NFC EAST!!!
Its only the end of the 3rd! HAHAHA
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-28915-kristen-bell-laughing-crying-g-TzMP.gif
This is the type of game Dr. Forrester would show on the Satellite of Love.
So this is just a friendly game of catch at this point right?
hoo boy
Victory Prima Pils is still real good.
95% of Victory is real good.
Victory just did a tap takeover at my local. REALLY good stuff. Storm King plz.
Holy shit, this isn’t the end of the game.
Memo to dumb Eagles fans: Nobody needs to employ any shady tactics to slow the Eagles offense down.
Bradford does that well enough.
Berman was saying Brady doesn’t look like a 38 year old QB, which further reinforces the claim that OF COURSE HE’S USING PEDS YOU FUCKS
This game:
http://i.imgur.com/7TfkS25.gifv
JESUS CHRIST IS THAT RED
That’s so much worse
The NFL is weird this year. Five undefeated teams after 6 weeks, and everyone else looks like…this.
MILES AUSTIN! CANCEL THE SEARCH!
What comes after going to plaid?
Paisley?
Paisley
http://st.depositphotos.com/1010754/1944/v/950/depositphotos_19441349-Paisley-pattern.jpg
Pollock?
Argyle?
Moving Pictures
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3jr7llQ6gNQ/maxresdefault.jpg
On the plus side, can’t really accuse anyone in this game of using PEDs. PDDs maybe.
Sam Bradford made the right choice in the face of a defense that could rush four and still cover with eight.
derp-condition-plaid.jpg
Is this game real?
Or is it just fantasy?
I never expected to Germany not to have public nudity laws.
https://twitter.com/martin_dfo/status/656301113646288896
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zcq_xLi2NGo
They even derped their way out of the derpiest score of all, the safety.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/cf6c28624245e2142e41c123339ced3b/tumblr_msl0lk075J1s1ccsho1_500.gif
You’re gonna need more coke
Really, can one ever have enough?
SO. MUCH. DERP.
Just……just…..I have no words strong enough to describe this game.
Holy FUCKBALLS this game
Holy fuck the third isnt even over yet???
I got to call it a night folks. Japan finally woke up and I got a shitload of emails to get through.
Got to love fucking working for a company on the other side of the goddamn planet…
Is anyone on either team NOT injured?
Tiny Darren! Nooo
Tiny Darren, he dead.
Somehow, Sproles has been a nonfactor, the Eagles have turned it over 3 times, they’re down to one inside linebacker, and they’re…winning by 17?
Two Teams, One Cup
Pretty much.
That’s KOTW material.
Shitshow? Damn right, this has turned into a full-blown scat porn.
Two wide open Giants, you can;t blame Bradford for taking a shot imo
Fuck you, Riley!
…the fuck was that?!
“Fuck Clarity.”
-The Universe
/ok, now I’m done
They have strange stripper names up there, eh?
Bradfordpunt!
I learned today that the US imported about 1.05 trillion barrels of oil from Canada last year. To put that in perspective, we imported 1.1 trillion barrels of oil from all of the OPEC countries combined. To say this election mattered in the geopolitical realm is to wholly understate that fact.
MURKA FRIST
Hey, you got your politics in my football!
No, you got your football in my politics!
Soooo, you’re saying we should invade Canada because they hate our freedom?
Yes, they have WMDs.
Weapons of maple destruction.
http://www.bloomberg.com/bw/articles/2013-01-02/the-great-canadian-maple-syrup-heist
yo I hear they got YELLOW CAKE son
http://media.giphy.com/media/13JIvSwLor9QVW/giphy.gif
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Charlotte McKinney or Kate Upton?
http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Kate-Upton-Charlotte-McKinney1-665×385.jpg
Kate. I’m a chubby chaser.
Kate.
Upton. No contest.
Kate.
Both
Yes
Kate.
Charlotte. I don’t want to fuck a future Republican senator.
Now is the time to get scared, because behind by 17 the Giants will start throwing.
Wolfman Rob’s long-lost twin?
Yes?
The european guys from family guy.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/2c4c381b93cac142a218dafe38681082/tumblr_nnkgwx4wOn1sviuduo1_400.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/66411ec557bc08c5668160f6d23139b5/tumblr_nnusqa9O2q1sb75bgo1_1280.jpg
Maybe Coughlin should offer the players cacao nibs for each completed play.
Hee hee, somebody seen Brooklyn Nine-Nine already
TD. So moar Alison Brie.
http://www.thejoycircuit.co.uk/Celebrity/Alison_Brie/contact/alison_brie_home.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/2dda94d9b480eca3bad00e5369cd6ba4/tumblr_n7j3p7v5Hj1qf90g6o1_540.jpg
Is there some rule that only one NFC East team is allowed to look sorta competent each week?
Dallas looked pretty competent this week…. oh, wait….
MAXIMUM
I’m going to bed so that the G-men can win while I dream of unicorns, multiple Uptons and hover-cars made of bacon.
BJ and Kate?
Way to ruin it for me, Shark!
Wait, you get hover cars made of bacon? Damn. If that’s what your elections provide, I’m emigrating to Canada.
You can only come up here if you are an idiot like the rest of us.
Oh, I’m dumb as hell.
You got a better PM and a Boob Jays win at least.