Your Monday Night Open Thread

I read something on ESPN today that really pissed me off. I’m not the sort to call out pro athletes but this really got to me. Apparently Keenan Allen has some sort of unspecified kidney injury that is going to keep him out indefinitely. Really? “A” kidney injury? Do you see where I’m going with this? Christ, he’s got more than one. Was this not explained to him by the team doctors? It’s not like he’s got some problem with his heart. Wait. Actually, metaphorically he does have an issue with that organ as well. As an every-day nobody that punishes my liver day-in and day-out without regard to the long-term consequences I think Allen is taking the easy way out. You can rest assured that he’ll never play on one of my fantasy teams ever again!

Ind @ Car: The rumour going round is that Luck has cracked ribs but it went unreported because he had a shoulder ouchie at the same time. Why Pats fans aren’t piling onto this news befuddles me. Maybe someone jangled a set of keys nearby? I’ve seen it happen before. With a loss, which would give them a 4-4 record, the Colts would maintain their stranglehold on the first place position in the AFC South. Someone’s getting a season-ending injury tonight. My money is on TE Olsen. Why? Why not? You’re asking for a rationale? These things happen for a not-reason. Guh! The Panthers are off to their best start in franchise history at 6-0. Asked to comment, owner Richardson maintained that his favourite start was 3 and 5. He’s such a silly goose!

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

What is Gruden talking about? This offense IS comical!

Old School Zero

I’m eating Popeye’s chicken and drinking Moose Drool.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I didn’t realize I had an opinion on Firefly women til Rikki and entropy bashed Jewel Staite

http://i.imgur.com/tX04r4Y.gif

I do, Summer Glau every day

blordinaryfagicmox

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entropy

Oh, I didn’t bash her. She’s incredible. I just find her the 3rd most attractive woman on a show that had a murderer’s row of such women.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wasn’t bashing Jewel Staite – I was just making fun of her career trajectory.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sorry guys, did really mean bash. I know what you meant

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If Lovie Smith ever started a band, he should call it “Wasted Challenge”.

/would also work for Steve Sarkisian’s band.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

How about “Prevent Pussies”?

Sill Bimmons

The Oakland Raiders’ “Stay Off The Drank Challenge” issued to JaMarcus Russell.

blordinaryfagicmox
WCS

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LET’S ALL GET THE SAME GIRL PREGNANT TONIGHT

packman_jon

Matt Blanchard reference. DRINK!

Sill Bimmons

Caesar, chef, chopped, or wedge?

bourb0nblues

Caesar

Doktor Zymm

Homemade Caesar dressing, or that bottle crap that doesn’t have half the ingredients right?

entropy

“What are things that food eats,” Alex?

Spur

chef, but that ain’t no salad in my opinion.

Brick Meathook

crab louie

WCS

Fat Hump Banners o’ Sadness are nothing new:
http://www.topix.com/ipicimg/TADOVNKCSJPTEFC5-fill640x320.jpg

John Difool

I picture Jim Irsay having a sweatshop in the bottom of his mansion full of underage Thai girls cranking those out.

Spur

Why would you waste the challenge? Trying to expedite that firing?

Sill Bimmons

Marinara, tomato, meat, red clam, white clam, or meatballs?

WCS

Meat and meatballs.

Spur

White clam

litre_cola

Red clam, I have no issue with it in the shower.

King Hippo

Cancer interferes with your challenge judgment ,, ppl forget that

John Difool

Pagano just wasted a handkerchief there.

American Pie Story

Oh yeah, and I can’t get the pic up for some reason, but we now have a banner in Lucas Oil Stadium that commemorates hosting the Super Bowl.

King Hippo

That’s quite the participation trophy.

JustStopDude

Better than I guess the one they put up in Houston.

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Spur

Cam needs to call Spider 2 Y Banana.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I take back my not watching. Cutler and Rivers WILL try to murder each other. Back in for next week.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

When your best player is the punter, it’s time to clean house.
http://www.somegif.com/gifs/13654201871040660311.GIF

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wish someone had told us that.”

– Oakland Raiders, 2005-2011

King Hippo

Also 80% of the Ray Guy years.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um, I had to look it up, but they didn’t have a single losing season with him. Their worst was 8-8 in 1986.

King Hippo

My childhood hate clouded my judgment. MOTION WITHDRAWN!

Seriously, dude was really good, and should have been first ballot Hall of Fame, in my book. Complete game changer.

Spur

Luck looks like a shell of his former self. Is he still hurt?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hodor.

packman_jon

Hodor.

King Hippo

Oh yes. Just a matter of how badly and exactly which organ(s)

American Pie Story

“no.” – Ryan Grigson

JustStopDude

Look I think its time we all admit this. I don’t mean to sound racist but you can’t be a successful QB in this league if you are white like Luck.

Honkies can’t run. No one is shocked by this. We just need to acknowledge that white people make terrible QB’s.

blordinaryfagicmox
Brick Meathook

go get the gimp

packman_jon

The gimp’s asleep.

entropy

Don’t you hate it when you fart in your gimp suit?

Sill Bimmons

So “Rudy” at Texas, then.

Sill Bimmons

Can you imagine if this is the Andrew Luck we’re going to get from now on?

John Difool

He needs to take a cross country road trip with Roy Munson, that’ll set things right again.

Brocky

If it deprives espn of another golden boy to fawn over, I can’t say it doesn’t comeout with a silver lining

Brocky

Evening fellow heathens, how was everyone’s holiday that seemed a lot cooler as a kid?

King Hippo

GREAT – my high school senior daughter worked the door, I enjoyed Vicuprofen and JV NFL.

entropy

I drank a bottle of 2 Gingers whiskey and whipped my older brother’s ass in beer pong. I enjoyed it. Yours?

King Hippo

Quite a step down next week – SNF is Iggles/Pokes, MNF is Bears/Bolts.

JustStopDude

Vote of confidence for Luck…third and long and take it out of his hands…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is the game next week a Bears game vs Rivers? I will watch but why unless Cutler and Rivers try to stab each other

American Pie Story

Oh look not a fuck up!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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entropy

She was the third hottest woman on the show, and she’s amazing. Damn but Firefly was good shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No offense, but fourth. Fifth if you count Christina Hendricks.

entropy

My ranking is different than most; Hendricks was a guest star and doesn’t make the weekly list.

1. Morena Baccarin
2. Can’t remember Zoe’s real name, but her
3. Jewel Staite
4. Summer Glau, she just looked to damn young in the series, she got far more attractive in Sarah Conner Chronicles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fair point, I forgot how young she was then.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Poor Jewel Staite. I feel like someday she’s going to serve me coffee and we’ll have to both pretend I’ve never seen her before.

Spur

Leonard just dominating this matchup with Melo.

blordinaryfagicmox

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JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

Why is Menstrual Blood male?

Doktor Zymm

Coaches are generally too conservative on fourth downs. There’s been stats around about it for ages. See what happens when you aren’t stupidly risk averse? SEE!? You get points, we get exciting football to watch, the other team gets to look dumb, it’s win-win-HAHA

King Hippo

Rivera was presented with the stats and he actually LISTENED.

WCS

Trust her; she’s a doktor.

entropy

Ah shit. You’re secretly Gregggg Easterbrook, aren’t you.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I’ve just taken too many U Chicago econ classes.

entropy

Weird part is, I do agree with the “oh just fucking go for it” on 4th down school of thought, but Gregggg is so fucking obnoxious I want the stats to be wrong.

King Hippo

The perverse incentive is coaches coach to avoid criticism. Nobody gets fired for being “by the book” conservative. Taking mathematically correct risks is still judged by the yellow press largely by whether it works or not. BECAUSE AMERICA.

Doktor Zymm

People are awful at probability.

Sill Bimmons

GODFREY DANIEL

Sill Bimmons

This ad is such a glib pile of shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Were you somehow looking into the future and seeing the iPhone ad?

Spur

I don’t think Carolina coaching staff has any respect for the Colts’ offense.

entropy

To be fair, neither do the Colts, so it’s a wash.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Firstandlastdown!

JustStopDude

I think the Panthers are my favorite team to watch this year. Ron calls games like you are playing your nephew on Madden. Cam is a hell of a QB and he pisses off all the sportswriters. This defense is fucking dominate.

Jesus and that run. The play looked DEAD!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Cam is everything white people wanted out of Tebow.

Sill Bimmons

White fundagelicals.

Us heathens wanted him to do shit like this:

http://s1.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/tebow-catch-fail-tim-tebow-gifs.gif

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I forgot how funny it is to see the Colts fail.

American Pie Story

I’m already sobbing in my bacon grease.

King Hippo

Just remember: (i) we still love you; and (ii) you’ns still running away with the division!

entropy

6… 6 6…. The number of the eligible receiver!

One of Iron Maiden’s lesser efforts.

packman_jon

The Playbook of Souls

packman_jon

Two minute drill to midnight

Doktor Zymm

This is some damn good football.

King Hippo

AGREED. Things have come together for Rivera and Newton. Leadership is in synch, and everyone believes. It helps when your $100M man puts his body on the line like that, and is such a consistently good, positive teammate.

Sill Bimmons

Want to go full boil?

Simmons made that up.

packman_jon
Doktor Zymm

No deflated balls on Cam

Sill Bimmons

I still can’t shake instinctively wanting Olsen to score from last season.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Spur

She sure is fun to look at, too bad she’s TV show poison.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Yeah true, but TSCC is a show I will always love. Don’t care it got a 1.1

JustStopDude

Glory boy stretching for the first down…

Of course if it was a white QB, it would be Elway-ish.

King Hippo

He really is very close to Elway in many ways, melanin aside. No wonder I like him!

Spur

Is Pagano fired mid-season or do they wait until the end of season?

litre_cola

Oh he is gone mid way through, unless he is Irsay’s dealer.

King Hippo

Cancer does get you bitchin painkillers ,, ppl forget that

JustStopDude

No bullshit, after work I am at my local Kroger getting groceries and my prescription filled. I had a dude follow me out to my car, offering to buy my meds.

Fucker had no idea what I even had. Why he thinks he wants the pills a dude with a tick takes is beyond me…

Doktor Zymm

RG3’s shoulder just broke.

entropy

Shit, Chad Pennington just suffered another rotator cuff injury watching that.

Sill Bimmons

Trent Green just put his shoes in the dishwasher.

King Hippo

Tough dude.

litre_cola

Pouring rain. Check.
Black unis. Check.

When is Willie Beaman taking over this game?

entropy

I forgot Supergirl was on tonight!

bourb0nblues

Pagano shouldn’t be out there in this weather. He might catch some sort of illness.

Doktor Zymm

I’m guessing whatever defenseman cracked Luck’s ribs closed his eyes and wished for lots of picks. Then when Luck’s ribs cracked with the longer bit on the defenseman’s side, his wish came true!

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Sill Bimmons

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