I read something on ESPN today that really pissed me off. I’m not the sort to call out pro athletes but this really got to me. Apparently Keenan Allen has some sort of unspecified kidney injury that is going to keep him out indefinitely. Really? “A” kidney injury? Do you see where I’m going with this? Christ, he’s got more than one. Was this not explained to him by the team doctors? It’s not like he’s got some problem with his heart. Wait. Actually, metaphorically he does have an issue with that organ as well. As an every-day nobody that punishes my liver day-in and day-out without regard to the long-term consequences I think Allen is taking the easy way out. You can rest assured that he’ll never play on one of my fantasy teams ever again!
Ind @ Car: The rumour going round is that Luck has cracked ribs but it went unreported because he had a shoulder ouchie at the same time. Why Pats fans aren’t piling onto this news befuddles me. Maybe someone jangled a set of keys nearby? I’ve seen it happen before. With a loss, which would give them a 4-4 record, the Colts would maintain their stranglehold on the first place position in the AFC South. Someone’s getting a season-ending injury tonight. My money is on TE Olsen. Why? Why not? You’re asking for a rationale? These things happen for a not-reason. Guh! The Panthers are off to their best start in franchise history at 6-0. Asked to comment, owner Richardson maintained that his favourite start was 3 and 5. He’s such a silly goose!
Supermanception!!
That Bill McCartney 30 for 30 should be good. Dude was FUCKING NUTS. Mike Huckabee would tel him to take it down a few notches. Plus, I’m sure we will see the famous 5th down game.
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18fzeni6cc4fyjpg/original.jpg
Is that Tokyo Bus Guide? That game was stupid hard.
So…defenses just shouldn’t bother covering receivers anymore, right?
Did anyone lose see Pixar’s Inside Out? And, if so, did you spend the whole movie thinking Joy was a rotten bitch like I did?
Not to mention that the whole concept was already done to perfection by Herman’s Head.
I LOVED THAT SHIT.
Also, I don’t think you could find a more textbook example of a ME FIRST GLORY BOY than Joy.
I’m not nearly as drunk as I should be for a Monday. Think I’ll call it a night and start all over again Tuesday.
Good news… it’ll be Tuesday in a little over 2 hers.
Humane society commercial puppies!!
I’d like to make a joke about the ball being as slippery as a greased watermelon, but since Jerry Richardson’s team is involved I can’t think of any way to phrase it without it coming out horribly racist.
Good Guy Tim Duncan telling that knick player to slow down because Porzingis is down. I think Melo is trying to hurt Porzingis, doesn’t want to share the spotlight.
Cam Newton runs
“I don’t want my QB taking these hits”
Luck runs
“That’s what I want to see from my QB”
He’s gone full Gruden.
#BlackDrivesMatter
Most people think Luck has playcalls attached to the band on his wrist but it’s really a miniature version of the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Beergh is displeased by that play.
Aw nuts
Almonds?
Eh. No PI calls where there should have been
Eh, I’m just being a goober.
IS stewart wearing oregon shoulder pads? obviously he’w sorn yellow before, but I never thought anything of it before
I think RG3’s biggest problem is not being as big as Cam Newton….and getting drafted by the [*Redacted] s.
That second one.
Woooo this time they fumbled!!
So I just got home from work to the sight of Jonathan Stewart’s home recording studio on my TV screen.
For obvious reasons, I think I might have a new favourite football player.
Gruden: “These hits take their toll”
“Tell me about it” – Sam Hurd
http://www.ukgameshows.com/p/images/3/3a/Gladiators_off1.jpg
“right on the thigh board”
What the fuck does that mean?
Gruden just because he’s black and playing the piano doesn’t mean he’s making “beats”. He’s playing the fucking piano.
“That sounds like NWA!”
“Its Chopin”
“Oooooh…so East Coast! That’s my jam dawg!!!”
If that kick returner were a two-sport athlete, he’d play for the Mets.
I am dumber for having seen that.
can you get fantasy points for playing piano? get some production out of stewart
fumbles are a sort of production.
That commercial reminds me, it will soon be time to decline holiday party invitations. Seems to start earlier every year.
Idea for a reality show…similar to that crappy show “Joes vs Pros” except you take loud mouth idiots that call into sports talk radio programs…basically the idiots that try and say they would happily play such and such sport for half the money that a star player is holding out.
You take said jackass and have him try and complete a week of training camp. Everything from the drills to the video room shit. I give it half a practice before EMT’s are working on them.
I think you could do it for every sport. Like force a baseball fan to try and go to every fucking game of a team. I give it a month before said person whats to kill themselves from the traveling.
If there’s a hefty beer budget for the “attend every game” baseball idea, I would be SO up for that.
https://youtu.be/vBRuMbicUpo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNZepOR0fTM
It this what watching football was like in the 40’s, but with better kickers?
I somewhat doubt they would let a black man play quarterback in the 40s.
Bigger, color TVs, too, but probably about the same, yeah.
If Griuden doesn’t stop sucking off these Panthers he’s liable to get arrested for bestiality.
Cats generally have barbed penises, so he’ll have some other problems first.
I tried to get a Morena Baccarin pic faster but the first few failed
Was that Luck’s first completion of the night?
He had a 3-yarder on the first possession.
Fun fact: a “3-yarder” is Aldon Smith’s personal record for driving through property fences before he finally got stuck.
Yo, Luck-create your own.
hey good job on recovering our own fumble this time
Progress!
Colts have really worked on their fumble recovery…
Well, when your most successful play is “drop the ball and hope someone else on our team recovers for positive yardage,” you work it into your practice regimen.
All these short possessions make it feel like it’s way later in the game than it actually is. Also, the Colts have already had at least a game’s worth of fumbles and turnovers.
Assuming they’re in a place that serves such things, Colts fans have also already had at least a game’s worth of turnovers.
You suck, Ted Ginn.
– Silky Gerrard, giving instructions
The more things change…..
Over/under on how long ESPN’s infatuation with Cam Newton will last?
Until Peter King leaves NBC?
They’re practicing for when Brady retires.
This is the Jaguars division to lose. They should hold their playoff game in London.
THIS. Oh glorious wonder of wonders.
This Cam Newton comic book deal reminded me of the Mike Tyson Mysteries. Does anyone know if/when that’s coming back?
“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Wire”
grumble grumble crouching tiger mom is my preference grumble grumble
Don’t care about your jewels and your summers, this is the sexiest firefly
http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8239/8545299892_ed19310168.jpg
I believe I would actually have to tear the front seat out of that thing and sit in the back to drive, Hightower-style.
My local Cantonese place does BBQ boneless thighs on skewers served with green onions, hoisin sauce and pancakes.
I am enjoying these as we speak.
The thigh is the most under appreciated part of the chicken…except maybe the liver (though I can perfectly understand why people may not like liver).
http://i.imgur.com/jHmCHxa.gifv
I like watching good defenses, but can we put the “Defense wins Championship” phrase to rest?
I hope not.
/am Denver fan
If we did that, we’d have to say “Trent Dilfer wins Championships” and no one wants to admit that.
oh wait – yes, do away with the PHRASE, just not the CONCEPT.
There’s heavy pressure, and HODOR throws to a guy who’s triple covered. Something doesn’t add up right.
His people do not trust your filthy English math.
Shitty play calling from up top
Andrew Luck is haunted.
Eli’s right there with you on the ‘math is hard’ part.
Luck, It’s not wise to hold on to the pigskin as long as your old world values.
It’s really too easy to call him Andrew Suck
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Sweet mother of fuck, Clots.
Drinking my first whiskey egg nog of the season.
Dear god I love egg nog.
Agreed. A buddy makes six bottles a season around Thanksgiving. I am counting the days.
Could the Colts have kept Bruce Arians and dumped Pagano after coming back from cancer?
OF COURSE! Who could blame a guy for THAT?
– N. Gingrigh