Your Monday Night Open Thread

I read something on ESPN today that really pissed me off. I’m not the sort to call out pro athletes but this really got to me. Apparently Keenan Allen has some sort of unspecified kidney injury that is going to keep him out indefinitely. Really? “A” kidney injury? Do you see where I’m going with this? Christ, he’s got more than one. Was this not explained to him by the team doctors? It’s not like he’s got some problem with his heart. Wait. Actually, metaphorically he does have an issue with that organ as well. As an every-day nobody that punishes my liver day-in and day-out without regard to the long-term consequences I think Allen is taking the easy way out. You can rest assured that he’ll never play on one of my fantasy teams ever again!

Ind @ Car: The rumour going round is that Luck has cracked ribs but it went unreported because he had a shoulder ouchie at the same time. Why Pats fans aren’t piling onto this news befuddles me. Maybe someone jangled a set of keys nearby? I’ve seen it happen before. With a loss, which would give them a 4-4 record, the Colts would maintain their stranglehold on the first place position in the AFC South. Someone’s getting a season-ending injury tonight. My money is on TE Olsen. Why? Why not? You’re asking for a rationale? These things happen for a not-reason. Guh! The Panthers are off to their best start in franchise history at 6-0. Asked to comment, owner Richardson maintained that his favourite start was 3 and 5. He’s such a silly goose!

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Horatio Cornblower

Just dropping in to say that I decided to watch ‘Fargo’ instead of this game and I regret nothing.

Martin

Shit. I’m watching Mad Men again. Though Fargo requires my undivided attention.

Martin

Is the game over?

JustStopDude
Don T

Call Jerry Richardson whatever: the man can sod a field.

Martin

He got a bargain on the landscapers

Martin

Did I say landscapers? I meant field hands.

Brick Meathook
Sill Bimmons

My sister used so much fucking Aqua Net.

The 80s should not be making this comeback.

Martin

I’ll be frank: If the 80s comes back, I want AIDS to come back too.

Sill Bimmons

They have public transport in North Carolina?

Beerguyrob

Fueled by natural gas!

Sill Bimmons

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JustStopDude

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makeitsnowondem

Well, shit. I’m toast now.

— Chad Johnson’s phone

Old School Zero

That’s a fantastic joke!

makeitsnowondem

I’m pretty sure no one ever catches the ball at its highest point.

Brick Meathook

TILLMAN FLOPPED

Brocky

I’m amazed tillman isn’t hurt yet

Sill Bimmons

HE’S NOT HURT HE’S JUST NOT THAT GOOD

Brocky

Colts will still lead the division even with a loss and 3-5 record.

no one in the nfl has it easier than the colts, and this is how they play

Sill Bimmons

CO-STAN-ZA

Martin

The Pats would disagree.

John Difool

Rappelling Gear -$500
Custom Screen Printed Protest Flag-$200
Carolina Panther Tickets-$450
Having To Call Dad To Bail You Out Of Jail -Priceless

JustStopDude

I can’t even get into the Ravens Stadium without getting my prostate checked for weapons…how the fuck do two hippies sneak in a banner and fucking climbing gear?!?

King Hippo

It’s a rainy night in the South and anything goes!

John Difool

I have no idea bit why the fuck are they protesting a natural gas facility? I mean it burns clean and it’s NATURAL gas, nature made it.

JustStopDude

Most likely Vegans. Ergo…utterly insane. If we weren’t suppose to eat animals, Baby Jesus wouldn’t have made them out of meat.

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably a fracking project. That there be protest fuel.

Beerguyrob

They probably said it was a Confederate flag and they just got let right in.

Beerguyrob

Free wheatgrass shots at the next Greenpeace meeting – priceless.

JustStopDude

Your 2015 Colts…

http://i.imgur.com/at6tL1H.gif

Brick Meathook

That’s one hell of an engine fire. Probably a magnesium block.

Martin

Jet fuel

Horatio Cornblower

Can’t be jet fuel, it’s burning steel.

P. Carroll

Old School Zero

I may just be a Panthers fan for the rest of the year.

Doktor Zymm

I’m kinda sad there can’t be a Panthers/Cardinals SB

Beerguyrob

I’d like to see Jared Allen hunt Tom Brady.

bourb0nblues
makeitsnowondem

With that turnover, I now lead Sep!

Old School Zero

boooo

Doktor Zymm

How many Andrew Lucks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

In a lightbulb, in the pocket, wherever, he’s just screwed

Sill Bimmons

That was a perfect spiral with a lot on it.

Why would you think he was hurt?

Doktor Zymm

How many Colts does it take to change a lightbulb?

All you need is Andrew Luck to change possession of the lightbulb.

JustStopDude

Florio is doing all he can to get the message of those protesters out….

packman_jon

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WCS

Look, Smithers! Garbo is coming!

Sill Bimmons
The Maestro

“All the players in San Fran are little SOBs.”

Sill Bimmons

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JustStopDude
John Difool

Newton just got dropped like an apple….

Sill Bimmons

wow ted ginn

Moonbatting Average

If what Maestro says is true, the San Andreas Fault is about to unleash Hell.

(It actually is, tho. Correlation, causation, who can say?)

Brocky

the stadium isn’t playing kid rock

it just plays in respone to a white TE touchdown

Doktor Zymm

Cam Newton runs a bimodal offense.

JustStopDude
The Maestro

Just announced right now: SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS TO START…

BLAINE

MOTHER

FUCKING

GABBERT

THE YORKOSHIMA IS NOW COMPLETE

John Difool
Moonbatting Average

No! Really?

The Maestro

YES

WCS

Fun way to troll your cats: play audio clips of birds chirping and singing.

Moonbatting Average

THIS GAME I CALL IT SPLOOSH BECAUSE THE BALLS ARE SLIPPERY

Martin

You know who else had slippery balls

WCS

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Martin
Sill Bimmons

HODOR NO FEAR TRIPLE COVERAGE GRAWRRRR

JustStopDude

Is Gruden trolling us now? He is like an even more annoying Quagmire.

Sill Bimmons

Why is Browns Lady’s face Bengals orange?

JustStopDude

What’s a “Concession Consultant”?

Martin

Mobster

Sill Bimmons

It’s like a concierge for the Food Court.

Martin
John Difool

This Newton hasn’t discovered how gravity influences objects yet

WCS

The DERP is strong with this one.

bourb0nblues

Pulled out too soon… heh heh heh

Sill Bimmons

THIS GUY JONATHAN STEWART I CALL HIM THE PIANO MAN BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT IT’S HIM THEY’RE COMING TO SEE TO FORGET ABOUT LIFE FOR A WHILE

John Difool

AND DON’T FORGET ABOUT DAVY HE REALLY LIKES GRAVY AND PROBABLY BE A COLTS FAN FOR LIFE

JustStopDude

THIS RUN OFFENSE I CALL IT “SEXUAL DEVIANT IN DENIAL” BECAUSE THEY FIND ALL THE GLORY HOLES TO EXPLOIT!

blordinaryfagicmox

Stewart tickling the ivories on that run.

John Difool

HIRRY UP AND UNFURL YOUR FLAG FUCKERS THE MAN IS COMIMG

JustStopDude

Since when do broadcasters acknowledge shit going on in the stands involving potential jackasses!?!

Badger

“potential”?

Col. Duke LaCross

That looks safe.

WCS

Someone stole the Clots’ 1995 AFC Finalist banner!

makeitsnowondem

THIS CAM NEWTON, I CALL HIM PIKACHU, BECAUSE HE’S A MONSTER IN THE POCKET

Sill Bimmons

ARE YOU SURE HES NOT JUST REALLY HAPPY TO SEE YOU

Martin

Being electrical in this weather seems especially dangerous.